Your Decision
Dear Self,
This is your pep talk: use it liberally.
You've made a wise, but precarious decision to love without the facade of protection, without the expectation of it ever amounting to anything more.
You did this because:
- You believe that the complicated dance of compatibility and all the unconscious choices convinced you correctly that this man is worth it.
- It doesn't matter if you end up together as a couple or not. A lifelong connection of this caliber would be foolish to discard. You've learned that lesson twice.
- You understand that it is ultimately futile to consciously combat something so integral, and that the struggle has been driving you crazy, and only monopolizing your attention instead of freeing you from it.
- Trusting and surrendering is the truest thing YOU would ever do. It is the most honest, giving, selfless thing to do, and its the only thing that really makes sense in the end.
- This probably won't fix all of your problems on this subject. It may actually be more difficult.
I'm not sure if righteous anger will visit so often now that you've decided to surrender. I certainly hope not. Don't dwell on it. There are certainly worse afflictions that unrequited love. Losing your best friend is one of them.
This is what you do and don't do:
-Self-loathing is truly disastrous. Don't indulge it. Take charge of the negative thoughts. Bitterness breeds self-deprecating anger. Avoid it.
-Love without obsession. When you feel taken advantage of...volunteer to give more of yourself. Most likely, you were not being mistreated and he could use your support. And perhaps an explanation of why you feel mistreated.
-Do not victimize yourself. You are capable of selfless love.
- Let go of what you think is inevitable about the future. You know nothing of it, and self-fulfilling prophecies don't need much encouragement.
This is your pep talk: use it liberally.
You've made a wise, but precarious decision to love without the facade of protection, without the expectation of it ever amounting to anything more.
You did this because:
- You believe that the complicated dance of compatibility and all the unconscious choices convinced you correctly that this man is worth it.
- It doesn't matter if you end up together as a couple or not. A lifelong connection of this caliber would be foolish to discard. You've learned that lesson twice.
- You understand that it is ultimately futile to consciously combat something so integral, and that the struggle has been driving you crazy, and only monopolizing your attention instead of freeing you from it.
- Trusting and surrendering is the truest thing YOU would ever do. It is the most honest, giving, selfless thing to do, and its the only thing that really makes sense in the end.
- This probably won't fix all of your problems on this subject. It may actually be more difficult.
I'm not sure if righteous anger will visit so often now that you've decided to surrender. I certainly hope not. Don't dwell on it. There are certainly worse afflictions that unrequited love. Losing your best friend is one of them.
This is what you do and don't do:
-Self-loathing is truly disastrous. Don't indulge it. Take charge of the negative thoughts. Bitterness breeds self-deprecating anger. Avoid it.
-Love without obsession. When you feel taken advantage of...volunteer to give more of yourself. Most likely, you were not being mistreated and he could use your support. And perhaps an explanation of why you feel mistreated.
-Do not victimize yourself. You are capable of selfless love.
- Let go of what you think is inevitable about the future. You know nothing of it, and self-fulfilling prophecies don't need much encouragement.