Can anyone make a decent movie set in the PAST these days??
Yesterday, at my parents' house, I was playing with the TV remote and stumbled into some Bible-based movie (don't know the title) that started with the story of Joseph and ended with Moses and the Exodus. I watched it for maybe forty minutes, and in the end, I wasn't sure if I should be annoyed or amused.
I happen to like Bible stories onscreen -- they're usually good stories by themselves and can be made into very decent films. Sure, these days you have to tweak some of the Old Testament ones a bit if you want them to be okay for family viewing, but that's usually not too hard to do. One thing matters a lot though, and that's historical research.
I do have a favorite movie version of Joseph's story: Joseph (1995), though I sometimes wonder if my main reason is Ben Kingsley's being in it. *chuckle* I'm not saying it's perfect, but it works. The one I saw yesterday, though...well.
1. I've never been able to find a good explanation of why 95% of biblical characters wear most horrible rags with frayed hems and full of holes for 100% of their screen time. Honestly, these guys were mostly pretty important and rich people. Yes, I do realize a lot of them led a nomadic life in the desert, but I find it hard to believe they wore stuff that fell apart in mere days and never mended their outfits.
2. Apparently, no matter where exactly in Egypt you are at a given moment, you can always see the Pyramids. Usually in the top left corner of the screen, right above the pharaoh's/state official's right shoulder (because they just like discussing Serious Matters of State stuff en plein air. Healthier that way, I suppose.)
3. I didn't quite get from that movie why Jacob and family were so panicky about the years of famine to come. From what I could see of their vegetation-free pastures earlier, they had in their possession a rare and wondrous kind of livestock that could feed on the desert sand!
4. More news to me: any ancient Egyptian army officer was entitled to wear khepresh, the blue royal war crown. Which is not blue in that movie anyway. Which probably makes it okay, I dunno... Maybe they were just showing off in front of the girls, and maybe I should be grateful there at least wasn't a uraeus on it.
5. When baby Moses is discovered floating down the Nile in his little basket, he's wearing a thing that looks like a very modern-day nappy. Goodness, did Pampers sponsor that movie or what??
6. Just like with a very young Moses, they didn't have much luck with his very old version. Someone should tell those people that putting a grey wig and glueing a grey beard onto a 30-year-old head doesn't make a guy look old, it makes him look comical.
Overall, a biiiiiig history fail...but that, alas, sounds like a norm in modern moviemaking. Sigh.
I happen to like Bible stories onscreen -- they're usually good stories by themselves and can be made into very decent films. Sure, these days you have to tweak some of the Old Testament ones a bit if you want them to be okay for family viewing, but that's usually not too hard to do. One thing matters a lot though, and that's historical research.
I do have a favorite movie version of Joseph's story: Joseph (1995), though I sometimes wonder if my main reason is Ben Kingsley's being in it. *chuckle* I'm not saying it's perfect, but it works. The one I saw yesterday, though...well.
1. I've never been able to find a good explanation of why 95% of biblical characters wear most horrible rags with frayed hems and full of holes for 100% of their screen time. Honestly, these guys were mostly pretty important and rich people. Yes, I do realize a lot of them led a nomadic life in the desert, but I find it hard to believe they wore stuff that fell apart in mere days and never mended their outfits.
2. Apparently, no matter where exactly in Egypt you are at a given moment, you can always see the Pyramids. Usually in the top left corner of the screen, right above the pharaoh's/state official's right shoulder (because they just like discussing Serious Matters of State stuff en plein air. Healthier that way, I suppose.)
3. I didn't quite get from that movie why Jacob and family were so panicky about the years of famine to come. From what I could see of their vegetation-free pastures earlier, they had in their possession a rare and wondrous kind of livestock that could feed on the desert sand!
4. More news to me: any ancient Egyptian army officer was entitled to wear khepresh, the blue royal war crown. Which is not blue in that movie anyway. Which probably makes it okay, I dunno... Maybe they were just showing off in front of the girls, and maybe I should be grateful there at least wasn't a uraeus on it.
5. When baby Moses is discovered floating down the Nile in his little basket, he's wearing a thing that looks like a very modern-day nappy. Goodness, did Pampers sponsor that movie or what??
6. Just like with a very young Moses, they didn't have much luck with his very old version. Someone should tell those people that putting a grey wig and glueing a grey beard onto a 30-year-old head doesn't make a guy look old, it makes him look comical.
Overall, a biiiiiig history fail...but that, alas, sounds like a norm in modern moviemaking. Sigh.