(no subject)
welp..things have really been interesting. It's amazing how many ups and downs one can go through.
Lets recap...I'll start where it seems appropriate.
Prom:
well prom was amazing..of course it was because I love getting dressed up, getting my hair done, taking pictures, and dancing the night away. In case you didn't know, thats very me, and Prom helped to bring me back to the "me" I had been missing.
Prom Weekend:
I have one word: DRAMA
the weekend started out ok. I didn't like not being able to stay with my friends at the place they were all renting, but staying with Matt and his friends seemed like the best thing because it was free. If I had the money though, I def. would have chosen to stay with everyone in seaside because I should have been with my friends on my prom weekend. Not with the people who just say they're my friends.
Back in Wayne:
I left the shore early because, as explained, I was staying with Matt and his friends and while they were able to go down the shore for the weekend, they coudn't stay for senior cut day. So we went to a party in Wayne that Sunday night instead and it turned out to be the start of a very emotional, hurtful, and long over due breakup. Throughout this breakup I learned who my true friends are. I also learned just how easy it is for someone to make you feel like the smallest and most insignifcant person on this planet.
It's amazing how quick people are to turn their back on you and how easy it is for someone to hate you.
Unfortunately, this weekend allowed me to end high school with tons and tons of immature drama and whenever I think of my senior prom, that's what I'll remember.
To most it was just drama to be heard from someone else at school or online, but I was at the receiving end of all of the name calling and back stabbing. And it sucked.
But like I said, I did learn who my true friends are, perfect timing isn't it, I learn who I can really trust just weeks before I leave to make new friends.
In case you havn't noticed by all the "I've learned's" ...this has been a HUGE learning experience for me. I've matured and learned how to behave in certain situations. I've learned to not trust everyone and although that should already be an obvious one, I had to learn that one the hard way. At the same time, I learned to let those who are willing to help me into my life because having a guy as my support system was a BIG mistake. Not like a guy shouldn't be your support system, I guess you just need to have a backup or a true friend as one instead.
moving on..
Family:
well things havn't gotten better but I've been reaching out to more people and letting people who want to help into my life and I think that's working. The store is officially closed and we are still searching for work and a place to eventually move to. I've been told by so many people that even though my family's problems are a big part of my life, I need to try and focus on leaving for school in a month because I'm only 17 and I can't fix everything.
Paris:
My aunt and uncle took my sister and I to Paris this past week and it was absolutley amazing. It was yet another great learning experience and not having my sidekick glued to me really allowed me to get away from everything. It's a great place and I'd love to go back there when I'm a little bit older, maybe with some friends or to study abroad.
I learned so much about France's history and I was so much more interested than I thought I'd be. My favorites were the Louvre and Versailles. I love Marie Antoinette and seeing the little Hamlet, her little village in Versailles where she would seak refuge in, was amazing.
I feel really really lucky that I have family who can take me to Paris and I appreciate it so so much.
I grew a lot closure to them, and better yet to my sister. My sister and I get along but we have never really had that close sister bond. We talked a lot and I'm making sure I can be there for her cuz she's not gunna be able to leave in a few weeks like me and she's gunna be here through all the moving and what not. I really want her to be able to call me whenever she needs me.
I'm keeping my chin up:
I have to force myself to not back track. It's so easy to let those who shouldn't be in your life back in.
I got a text last night asking me how I was and how my vacation went. It was the first in a while. It felt nice to hear from him and it really did make me feel better, but I'm nervous about it. It's been almost 2 months now and itd be nice to establish a friendship but I really don't think that's possible. We'll see I guess.
I'm concentrating on getting ready for school and being there for my family and I'm surrounding myself with those who make me happy. That seems to be whats best right now.
I'm sure there'll be more to come soon...until then..cya
<3
Lets recap...I'll start where it seems appropriate.
Prom:
well prom was amazing..of course it was because I love getting dressed up, getting my hair done, taking pictures, and dancing the night away. In case you didn't know, thats very me, and Prom helped to bring me back to the "me" I had been missing.
Prom Weekend:
I have one word: DRAMA
the weekend started out ok. I didn't like not being able to stay with my friends at the place they were all renting, but staying with Matt and his friends seemed like the best thing because it was free. If I had the money though, I def. would have chosen to stay with everyone in seaside because I should have been with my friends on my prom weekend. Not with the people who just say they're my friends.
Back in Wayne:
I left the shore early because, as explained, I was staying with Matt and his friends and while they were able to go down the shore for the weekend, they coudn't stay for senior cut day. So we went to a party in Wayne that Sunday night instead and it turned out to be the start of a very emotional, hurtful, and long over due breakup. Throughout this breakup I learned who my true friends are. I also learned just how easy it is for someone to make you feel like the smallest and most insignifcant person on this planet.
It's amazing how quick people are to turn their back on you and how easy it is for someone to hate you.
Unfortunately, this weekend allowed me to end high school with tons and tons of immature drama and whenever I think of my senior prom, that's what I'll remember.
To most it was just drama to be heard from someone else at school or online, but I was at the receiving end of all of the name calling and back stabbing. And it sucked.
But like I said, I did learn who my true friends are, perfect timing isn't it, I learn who I can really trust just weeks before I leave to make new friends.
In case you havn't noticed by all the "I've learned's" ...this has been a HUGE learning experience for me. I've matured and learned how to behave in certain situations. I've learned to not trust everyone and although that should already be an obvious one, I had to learn that one the hard way. At the same time, I learned to let those who are willing to help me into my life because having a guy as my support system was a BIG mistake. Not like a guy shouldn't be your support system, I guess you just need to have a backup or a true friend as one instead.
moving on..
Family:
well things havn't gotten better but I've been reaching out to more people and letting people who want to help into my life and I think that's working. The store is officially closed and we are still searching for work and a place to eventually move to. I've been told by so many people that even though my family's problems are a big part of my life, I need to try and focus on leaving for school in a month because I'm only 17 and I can't fix everything.
Paris:
My aunt and uncle took my sister and I to Paris this past week and it was absolutley amazing. It was yet another great learning experience and not having my sidekick glued to me really allowed me to get away from everything. It's a great place and I'd love to go back there when I'm a little bit older, maybe with some friends or to study abroad.
I learned so much about France's history and I was so much more interested than I thought I'd be. My favorites were the Louvre and Versailles. I love Marie Antoinette and seeing the little Hamlet, her little village in Versailles where she would seak refuge in, was amazing.
I feel really really lucky that I have family who can take me to Paris and I appreciate it so so much.
I grew a lot closure to them, and better yet to my sister. My sister and I get along but we have never really had that close sister bond. We talked a lot and I'm making sure I can be there for her cuz she's not gunna be able to leave in a few weeks like me and she's gunna be here through all the moving and what not. I really want her to be able to call me whenever she needs me.
I'm keeping my chin up:
I have to force myself to not back track. It's so easy to let those who shouldn't be in your life back in.
I got a text last night asking me how I was and how my vacation went. It was the first in a while. It felt nice to hear from him and it really did make me feel better, but I'm nervous about it. It's been almost 2 months now and itd be nice to establish a friendship but I really don't think that's possible. We'll see I guess.
I'm concentrating on getting ready for school and being there for my family and I'm surrounding myself with those who make me happy. That seems to be whats best right now.
I'm sure there'll be more to come soon...until then..cya
<3