Life is a bitch.
I Decided to write here stuff I couldnt write on my blog.. Nothing too big.. just stuff I dont want anyone to get upset over..
So.. cheri and me were drunk one night.. and we were talking about how we havent hung out in a long time, and why we stopped in the first time. it was because her and that girl brittany claimed marc raped them.. well, cheri came out and told me she said it cus no one believed brit, but brit ended up lying in the end anyway... So, its all good thats cleared up. I have actually been chillin with cheri alot.. hell, I even get along with caleb now.. him and marc used to fight alot.. hell, even mis punched him in the face once.. anyway.. so we are on good terms.. and I enjoy hanging out with her, but sometimes it seems like.. she doesnt want me around.. not sure if its just me.. cus she invites me out and all.. but.. idk.. she just got another tattoo.. from mis' friend rachael's boyfriend dizzy.. So, when I get some money together, and a great idea.. Im gonna get one. not sure where though.. she got one on each of her sides, her tramp stamp, her neck/spine and now above her tramp stamp.. she said that it was a bitch.. I think I want to get those stars right near my shoulder on my chest, but not on the collar bone, cus that will hurt so bad.. but I think I want that.. yes.. I am sure.. well, I want something with stars.. and I was thinking about this girl who donny gave a tattoo all around her thigh of stars.. it was cool. I thought about doing a ring os stars around my arm, like a arm band of them.. but I have been losing alot of weight.. and I dont want to get it tattooed, then have it look bad cus of my skin.. so.. yeah.. I think Im gonna google some cool star tattoos.. I found some very interesting tattoos.. but dont think I want them that bad.. Ill def send you links of ones I like.. dizzy does tats for cheap.. not too bad, but he has to make a profit of em.. he does them out of his house.. and hes done tons.. so I know hes good. I watched him do calebs.. So. yeah.. after Im done with this.. Ill look.
So.. I am so upset about jim deleting me off his myspace.. and he put julie in my spot. it doesnt make sense... why did he do it? Julie keeps lying and saying, libbi said this, and libbi said that, shit. its like.. god, your 30.. grow the fuck up!! I seriously dont understand her, and I hope and pray to god, I wont end up like her.. which I know I wont.. but still. I have to face both of them next saturday, and I am not thrilled. my mom called me and told me jim was upset cus I said something about him being worthless to the family.. but mom knew it was a joke, cus I love jim more than anyone.. and I wouldnt do anything to hurt him like that, plus he tells me stuff no one else knows about.. so why would I say anything bad?? I later found out it was julie who said it.. go figure.. I already knew it.. but I thought, if they arent saying its julie.. I wonder if I really did hurt jim.. but.. its julie.. as usual. mis is gonna say something to them both. and marc said if jims gonna be like her, I shouldnt worry about him.. grr.. another thing bothering me.. is.. well.. like.. nov 3rd, stitched played at olympic lanes, and charlies band played there.. and I talked to him a couple times, but he pretty much ignored me, or would walk away... so after a while.. I gave up.. and he seen me outside when he was leaving, and he told me he would probably be playing there again, and he wouls see me around.. and I gave up, stopped thinking of him.. well sometimes I think of him when Im at work.. cus this girl jaime I work with, told my boss that I liked charlie, cus shes dating charlies lead singer, and charlie apparently told her I liked him.... so.. I sometimes think.. what if.. jaime tells charlie she sees me at work, and she tells him, anything I say.. so sometimes, I dont say anything.. I dont really talk to her anyway.. but. still.. its a thought. anyway.. so, I think at one point I looked for dogmurder ( the bands name.. its lame..) on myspace, but didnt find it.. and last night when dans sister added me, so did dogmurder did too.. it fucking freaked me out.. I almost started crying.. I teared up a lil.. I just.. want to forget him, and not want to think about it anymore.. and now I question it all.. why did he add me? I dont think it was any of his band mates, cus I dont know them.. is he just trying to be nice, cus Im on here.. then I looked and seen stitched on their top friends, and I figured he went on their page and added me.. but.. after all we went thru, and my emails, and trying to get back to him, or even him to respond.... why would he add me? does he think I will be that way again? has he realised I grew up? did he do it, just cus he wants more people on his friends list? did he think of me before and decided to search stitcheds page??
I am soo mind boggled.. its driving me nuts!!!!
I wrote him/them and said.. hello.. and someone said, hello.. and I was like.. whats going on? who am I talking to? and someone read it, but didnt reply.. Im not gonna email them until I get a returned email, cus now that I think of it.. all those times someone read the emails I sent charlie.. it could of been his other band mates.. not even him.. so, what if this is the same? so.. if they dont email me in a while.. probably a couple weeks.. Ill leave a comment. Im worried.. but at the same time.. I dont give a shit. I was over it, and Im still trying to be. then again, I have no one else to deal with.. I know I should have anyone to "deal" with.. but.. if we were to atleast talk.. it wouldnt be.. a big deal. I hope, that when charlie sees Im not the same as I used to be, he wont be so... distant from me.. like he was at the show. he was a dick.. but I bit my tongue and didnt say anything. plus.. as much as I liked him, and liked what we had.. I wonder.. is he this grunge skinny lil kid I seen that night at the lanes all the time and I was just blind to see it? cus.. he was cute, but he wasnt all he was cracked up to be that two weeks we had together.. hmm..
Anyway.. so I decided to move to TN for a lil bit. my boss said I can have my job back when I move back here... that is if I dont get fired before I move.. I just.. am not happy here.. and I need to get away from everything... and I want to spend time with my aunts and cousins down there.. it didnt help that I read this romantice novel, and it had alot of religious shit in it.. and now Im questioning things myself..lol. but I think its good that I get out of here.. I dont know if my parents will be out of here by then.. I hope.. but if Im not here to help.. then.. I dont know what they will do. and I dont want to be blamed for anything.. plus... if I move there for a bit, Im taking a plane.. or a bus.. and my car will be here, and mikey can get his license.. so I wont have to drive him everywhere.. he can get a job and help my parents out. they dont always have to rely on me... and I hope they learn that. my dad fixed up my car a lil bit.. fixed the heat and such.. so I told him I would give him 100 bucks.. and I havent had the money to do it cus of x-mas.. but he also wants us to start paying for our phones.. and I dont think I will have to pay more than 60 bucks.. but he told my mom I owe him.. which I will with my next check.. my mom always helps me if I need money.. cus she takes alot of it.. except the past few weeks.. it went to presents.. but still.. she helps me out. wow. I just got really tired.. so Im gonna go lay down.....
SIN cerely.. Libbers.
So.. cheri and me were drunk one night.. and we were talking about how we havent hung out in a long time, and why we stopped in the first time. it was because her and that girl brittany claimed marc raped them.. well, cheri came out and told me she said it cus no one believed brit, but brit ended up lying in the end anyway... So, its all good thats cleared up. I have actually been chillin with cheri alot.. hell, I even get along with caleb now.. him and marc used to fight alot.. hell, even mis punched him in the face once.. anyway.. so we are on good terms.. and I enjoy hanging out with her, but sometimes it seems like.. she doesnt want me around.. not sure if its just me.. cus she invites me out and all.. but.. idk.. she just got another tattoo.. from mis' friend rachael's boyfriend dizzy.. So, when I get some money together, and a great idea.. Im gonna get one. not sure where though.. she got one on each of her sides, her tramp stamp, her neck/spine and now above her tramp stamp.. she said that it was a bitch.. I think I want to get those stars right near my shoulder on my chest, but not on the collar bone, cus that will hurt so bad.. but I think I want that.. yes.. I am sure.. well, I want something with stars.. and I was thinking about this girl who donny gave a tattoo all around her thigh of stars.. it was cool. I thought about doing a ring os stars around my arm, like a arm band of them.. but I have been losing alot of weight.. and I dont want to get it tattooed, then have it look bad cus of my skin.. so.. yeah.. I think Im gonna google some cool star tattoos.. I found some very interesting tattoos.. but dont think I want them that bad.. Ill def send you links of ones I like.. dizzy does tats for cheap.. not too bad, but he has to make a profit of em.. he does them out of his house.. and hes done tons.. so I know hes good. I watched him do calebs.. So. yeah.. after Im done with this.. Ill look.
So.. I am so upset about jim deleting me off his myspace.. and he put julie in my spot. it doesnt make sense... why did he do it? Julie keeps lying and saying, libbi said this, and libbi said that, shit. its like.. god, your 30.. grow the fuck up!! I seriously dont understand her, and I hope and pray to god, I wont end up like her.. which I know I wont.. but still. I have to face both of them next saturday, and I am not thrilled. my mom called me and told me jim was upset cus I said something about him being worthless to the family.. but mom knew it was a joke, cus I love jim more than anyone.. and I wouldnt do anything to hurt him like that, plus he tells me stuff no one else knows about.. so why would I say anything bad?? I later found out it was julie who said it.. go figure.. I already knew it.. but I thought, if they arent saying its julie.. I wonder if I really did hurt jim.. but.. its julie.. as usual. mis is gonna say something to them both. and marc said if jims gonna be like her, I shouldnt worry about him.. grr.. another thing bothering me.. is.. well.. like.. nov 3rd, stitched played at olympic lanes, and charlies band played there.. and I talked to him a couple times, but he pretty much ignored me, or would walk away... so after a while.. I gave up.. and he seen me outside when he was leaving, and he told me he would probably be playing there again, and he wouls see me around.. and I gave up, stopped thinking of him.. well sometimes I think of him when Im at work.. cus this girl jaime I work with, told my boss that I liked charlie, cus shes dating charlies lead singer, and charlie apparently told her I liked him.... so.. I sometimes think.. what if.. jaime tells charlie she sees me at work, and she tells him, anything I say.. so sometimes, I dont say anything.. I dont really talk to her anyway.. but. still.. its a thought. anyway.. so, I think at one point I looked for dogmurder ( the bands name.. its lame..) on myspace, but didnt find it.. and last night when dans sister added me, so did dogmurder did too.. it fucking freaked me out.. I almost started crying.. I teared up a lil.. I just.. want to forget him, and not want to think about it anymore.. and now I question it all.. why did he add me? I dont think it was any of his band mates, cus I dont know them.. is he just trying to be nice, cus Im on here.. then I looked and seen stitched on their top friends, and I figured he went on their page and added me.. but.. after all we went thru, and my emails, and trying to get back to him, or even him to respond.... why would he add me? does he think I will be that way again? has he realised I grew up? did he do it, just cus he wants more people on his friends list? did he think of me before and decided to search stitcheds page??
I am soo mind boggled.. its driving me nuts!!!!
I wrote him/them and said.. hello.. and someone said, hello.. and I was like.. whats going on? who am I talking to? and someone read it, but didnt reply.. Im not gonna email them until I get a returned email, cus now that I think of it.. all those times someone read the emails I sent charlie.. it could of been his other band mates.. not even him.. so, what if this is the same? so.. if they dont email me in a while.. probably a couple weeks.. Ill leave a comment. Im worried.. but at the same time.. I dont give a shit. I was over it, and Im still trying to be. then again, I have no one else to deal with.. I know I should have anyone to "deal" with.. but.. if we were to atleast talk.. it wouldnt be.. a big deal. I hope, that when charlie sees Im not the same as I used to be, he wont be so... distant from me.. like he was at the show. he was a dick.. but I bit my tongue and didnt say anything. plus.. as much as I liked him, and liked what we had.. I wonder.. is he this grunge skinny lil kid I seen that night at the lanes all the time and I was just blind to see it? cus.. he was cute, but he wasnt all he was cracked up to be that two weeks we had together.. hmm..
Anyway.. so I decided to move to TN for a lil bit. my boss said I can have my job back when I move back here... that is if I dont get fired before I move.. I just.. am not happy here.. and I need to get away from everything... and I want to spend time with my aunts and cousins down there.. it didnt help that I read this romantice novel, and it had alot of religious shit in it.. and now Im questioning things myself..lol. but I think its good that I get out of here.. I dont know if my parents will be out of here by then.. I hope.. but if Im not here to help.. then.. I dont know what they will do. and I dont want to be blamed for anything.. plus... if I move there for a bit, Im taking a plane.. or a bus.. and my car will be here, and mikey can get his license.. so I wont have to drive him everywhere.. he can get a job and help my parents out. they dont always have to rely on me... and I hope they learn that. my dad fixed up my car a lil bit.. fixed the heat and such.. so I told him I would give him 100 bucks.. and I havent had the money to do it cus of x-mas.. but he also wants us to start paying for our phones.. and I dont think I will have to pay more than 60 bucks.. but he told my mom I owe him.. which I will with my next check.. my mom always helps me if I need money.. cus she takes alot of it.. except the past few weeks.. it went to presents.. but still.. she helps me out. wow. I just got really tired.. so Im gonna go lay down.....
SIN cerely.. Libbers.