(no subject)
i dont even know why i have one if i dont use it. not that you always look at mine. oh well.
so this is starting with the matt situation. ok we all know that it wasnt gonna last cus i always go thru this and i always find some flaws that make it difficult for me to stay with anyone. i do this everytime and i know i do and i dont know what to do about it. well i havent talked to him in a couple days. so i called him tonite to see what was going on. when he answered he went into detail about how we cant stop each other from dating/fucking anyone. well i just sat and listened to him cus i had payton laying on me. well he just kept saying that he cant stop me from being with chris or any other guy. then he tells me that he knows its gonna be around a yr or so til he can move up here. well, he told me he went out last nite and got pretty drunk, and he fucked someone. well it didnt bother me til he told me how old she was... she was fucking 40 yrs old. thats so fucking gross. i cant believe it. i really was so grossed out that i told him i had to go. well im still fairly upset about it. its just sick to even think about him fucking someone who is almost my moms age. ya know, i knew this was too good to be true. i know now that its def not gonna work out no matter how much i thought i loved him. ( which i really did think so, but you know i always rush shit like this.) i hate when i do this, always rushing things, its just like the shawn thing.. except i liked matt a whole lot more... i dont know why i always do this to my self. well, chris called me on my way home. and my phone being gay again, it hung up on him and he left me a messege about how i must of had a bad thanxgiving and that he'll call later b.c im being grumpy. well he called back two mins later. i told him i didnt hang up on him and that i had a great thanksgiving til i decidd to call matt and he told me that he slept with a old woman. haha chris said then " well that adds points on to my side. " well he wants to hang out tonite cus he rented the matrix and i told him he should come stay at my house this time... which i havent told you about how we hung out the last two nites... omg.... anyway, so hes gonna call me and so i decided to write this. im still shaken by the matt thing. but ill get over it sooner or later. i guess i should tell you about the last few nites.....
so the first nite i was on the comp right after skool talking to matt and chris called and asked me if i wanted to come over " just to hang out, no coaxing anyone into sex.." so i asked and i went to his house.. it was weird at first cus i didnt know how to act around him.. cus hes really weird.. you guys will either get along very well.. or be fighting.. hopefully get along... anyway, so we hung out, we were supposed to watch movies but he forgot the cord for his dvd player. well he would tickle me and mess around and he finally kiss me ( a peck on the lips when i fell on the floor, it was cute but cheap.) well we sat around cuddling and shit.. he would kiss me and bite my neck.. which i had/have bruises and bite marks..it was hot at first.. but he just bites to hard and my neck hurts badly. so we tried to have sex.. and he couldnt keep it up cus he was soo nervous. it was cute. dont worry he got it up last nite :P anyway... so we hung out and it was great i had soo much fun with him.. til he read my palm and told me im gonna be a black widow and kill my husband.. that was weird.. but hes cool. ull likd him.. he wears girl pants under his normal pants and he was a gothic fairy for halloween and he wears nail polish. hes the " real gothic" type. so we hung out last nite i went over there around 830pm til about 2am. we hung out watched boondock saints cus hes never seen it before. and had sex.. oh man hes like the first guy who i ever let eat me out.. other than nick but nick sucked balls. well i forgot chris had a tongue ring.. it was fucking awesome!!! well, i got to go get ready to go to chris'. he was supposed to come here but mike is on his way home and i cant have chris come over cus mike would be watchin tv and would be a fucking asshole like always... so ill write more later.
( oh man my dad just called me a whore cus i told him i was gonna pick up chris and we were gonna come here and watch a movie and they asked how i was gonna get the money and i said hes giving me $5 and he goes " whore!" )
so this is starting with the matt situation. ok we all know that it wasnt gonna last cus i always go thru this and i always find some flaws that make it difficult for me to stay with anyone. i do this everytime and i know i do and i dont know what to do about it. well i havent talked to him in a couple days. so i called him tonite to see what was going on. when he answered he went into detail about how we cant stop each other from dating/fucking anyone. well i just sat and listened to him cus i had payton laying on me. well he just kept saying that he cant stop me from being with chris or any other guy. then he tells me that he knows its gonna be around a yr or so til he can move up here. well, he told me he went out last nite and got pretty drunk, and he fucked someone. well it didnt bother me til he told me how old she was... she was fucking 40 yrs old. thats so fucking gross. i cant believe it. i really was so grossed out that i told him i had to go. well im still fairly upset about it. its just sick to even think about him fucking someone who is almost my moms age. ya know, i knew this was too good to be true. i know now that its def not gonna work out no matter how much i thought i loved him. ( which i really did think so, but you know i always rush shit like this.) i hate when i do this, always rushing things, its just like the shawn thing.. except i liked matt a whole lot more... i dont know why i always do this to my self. well, chris called me on my way home. and my phone being gay again, it hung up on him and he left me a messege about how i must of had a bad thanxgiving and that he'll call later b.c im being grumpy. well he called back two mins later. i told him i didnt hang up on him and that i had a great thanksgiving til i decidd to call matt and he told me that he slept with a old woman. haha chris said then " well that adds points on to my side. " well he wants to hang out tonite cus he rented the matrix and i told him he should come stay at my house this time... which i havent told you about how we hung out the last two nites... omg.... anyway, so hes gonna call me and so i decided to write this. im still shaken by the matt thing. but ill get over it sooner or later. i guess i should tell you about the last few nites.....
so the first nite i was on the comp right after skool talking to matt and chris called and asked me if i wanted to come over " just to hang out, no coaxing anyone into sex.." so i asked and i went to his house.. it was weird at first cus i didnt know how to act around him.. cus hes really weird.. you guys will either get along very well.. or be fighting.. hopefully get along... anyway, so we hung out, we were supposed to watch movies but he forgot the cord for his dvd player. well he would tickle me and mess around and he finally kiss me ( a peck on the lips when i fell on the floor, it was cute but cheap.) well we sat around cuddling and shit.. he would kiss me and bite my neck.. which i had/have bruises and bite marks..it was hot at first.. but he just bites to hard and my neck hurts badly. so we tried to have sex.. and he couldnt keep it up cus he was soo nervous. it was cute. dont worry he got it up last nite :P anyway... so we hung out and it was great i had soo much fun with him.. til he read my palm and told me im gonna be a black widow and kill my husband.. that was weird.. but hes cool. ull likd him.. he wears girl pants under his normal pants and he was a gothic fairy for halloween and he wears nail polish. hes the " real gothic" type. so we hung out last nite i went over there around 830pm til about 2am. we hung out watched boondock saints cus hes never seen it before. and had sex.. oh man hes like the first guy who i ever let eat me out.. other than nick but nick sucked balls. well i forgot chris had a tongue ring.. it was fucking awesome!!! well, i got to go get ready to go to chris'. he was supposed to come here but mike is on his way home and i cant have chris come over cus mike would be watchin tv and would be a fucking asshole like always... so ill write more later.
( oh man my dad just called me a whore cus i told him i was gonna pick up chris and we were gonna come here and watch a movie and they asked how i was gonna get the money and i said hes giving me $5 and he goes " whore!" )