FANFIC: Lasting Pain, Cantarella, gen, G
Title: Lasting Pain
Author: Lilahthedragon
Fandom: Cantarella
Characters/Pairing: Cesare, Chiaro
Challenge: June 2007
XXXX: Jane Siberry- It Can’t Rain All the Time
Warnings and Notes: Takes place at the end of vol 5, with no regard for what happens in vol 6. Consider it a moment of fancy out of time and out of canon. This is what I got for listening to the song on repeat, so I’m not sure how well that works with the challenge.
It can’t rain all the time
The sky won’t fall forever
And though the night seems long
Your tears won’t fall forever
Clutching his shoulders tighter, Cesare crouched in the shadows of the narrow Roman street. There was blood on his clothes and on his hands, not just his blood, but Juan’s too. The voice of a scared little boy cried in his head “What have you done? Mother will never forgive you.” But he knew that she would have, because her heart was great enough to love him still, even though he’d killed her son.
He felt dead inside, he wished his path was not one of darkness lit by the thinnest threads of light. As a boy that light had been Vanozza, and as a man it was Chiaro, but how long would such light be enough to keep him from totally succumbing to the demons that roared in his blood and in his head. Power beyond imagining but... oh the price he would have to pay.
He’d paid a small part of it tonight and he wished he’d never had to pay it. Cesare wept tears he could let no one, except perhaps Chiaro, see. Dark clouds covered the stars in the sky and ominous thunder rolled in the distance. It reflected the agony inside, why had Juan pushed for this final step in their dance? He’d had everything; their father’s love, wealth, power, and freedom of sorts, and he’d squandered it all because he was jealous and afraid.
Cesare hadn’t hated his brother, not once had he begrudged his younger sibling anything, not even when his father was unable to look at him when he was a boy. The young cardinal had learned why his family trembled at the sight of him, but he’d never asked for these dark powers, this blood that was poison in his veins. But he had them and he used them for his own ends nobody else’s, even if they did not like the path he chose.
His shoulders shook as he tried to contain the raging emotions, perhaps what cut him to the bone was that rasp of steel on sheath when Chiaro drew his sword to fulfill a promise made when they were children. If only the young assassin hadn’t hesitated on that fateful day none of this, none of it, would have happened. But he hadn’t; instead he had remained loyally, faithfully at his side, doing the darkest of tasks all at his command.
The rabble of Rome might never know that the assassin Michelotto was his angel of light Chiaro. But the blonde was his last hope of retaining his sanity as the demons bayed inside him to wreak blood and carnage upon this mortal world. He still ruled his actions, but it grew harder and harder each day to be the one in control.
He hadn’t consciously decided to kill Juan, his brother had brought that upon himself. Splattered with so much of Cesare’s blood, death was inevitable; only the young assassin had any kind of immunity to the Cantarella. But still he was the tool that ended the young aristocrat’s life, maybe it would have been kinder if he had drawn his sword and slain him. The look that was a mix of horror, hatred, and despair would haunt him as much as anything could anymore.
The wind picked up drawing the distant storm closer at a rapid pace. Rain could be smelt upon the breeze. But no matter how much it poured nothing would be able to cleanse away this stain. Juan’s death on his head and the agony of knowing there was nothing he could have done to change his brother’s hate to anything less damning.
Why did Chiaro have to hesitate then and now? Cesare’s thoughts swirled around this new point to drive his agony higher. Had the man no love for him whatsoever that he allowed him to live with the potential for doing more and more damage to this world? He’d promised to kill him if the demons claimed him, but would he be able to use his sword if that fate befell him? Or would he be too late and would Cesare end up with his best friend’s death on his heart as well?
As the rain began to fall, his tears began to fall in earnest. Some were for Juan and some were for the dim hope that Chiaro would be able to save him from himself. The dark hair fell to cover his face as raindrops and tears blended together to wet his skin. By his own choice he was becoming more and more of a monster and his angel was letting him, what was he turning his angel into?
Lightning split the sky as the deluge really let loose, he almost wished it would rain forever. Perhaps then all of this ugliness, perhaps even he, could be washed away in a never ending storm. The darkness inside him hissed at the thought of being relegated back into nothingness, but he didn’t listen to their whispers, focusing harder on his own pain.
Maybe it was because his focus was so tightly driven inside that he missed the soft splash of footsteps in the rain. He didn’t register that someone was behind him until a well oiled leather cloak was dropped over his sopping head. Startled violet eyes snapped up to meet calm blue.
“I can’t leave you out here like this, no matter what you say,” Chiaro’s voice was low but Cesare could still hear him perfectly well over the rumble of the storm.
“I was enjoying the rain.” The young cardinal pushed to his feet, the desperate grip on his arms was shifted to pull the cloak tight about him.
“Don’t enjoy it too much, Cesare, the sky won’t fall forever.”
“But I want it to.”
“I know, but it won’t. It can’t rain all the time. You should go home. We should go home now.” Chiaro reached out and wiped the mix of tears and rain from one of Cesare’s cheeks. For the blonde it was a matter of something to believe in, and for now he believed in the young Borgia and prayed that Cesare’s strength would prevail over the demons in the end.
Author: Lilahthedragon
Fandom: Cantarella
Characters/Pairing: Cesare, Chiaro
Challenge: June 2007
XXXX: Jane Siberry- It Can’t Rain All the Time
Warnings and Notes: Takes place at the end of vol 5, with no regard for what happens in vol 6. Consider it a moment of fancy out of time and out of canon. This is what I got for listening to the song on repeat, so I’m not sure how well that works with the challenge.
It can’t rain all the time
The sky won’t fall forever
And though the night seems long
Your tears won’t fall forever
Clutching his shoulders tighter, Cesare crouched in the shadows of the narrow Roman street. There was blood on his clothes and on his hands, not just his blood, but Juan’s too. The voice of a scared little boy cried in his head “What have you done? Mother will never forgive you.” But he knew that she would have, because her heart was great enough to love him still, even though he’d killed her son.
He felt dead inside, he wished his path was not one of darkness lit by the thinnest threads of light. As a boy that light had been Vanozza, and as a man it was Chiaro, but how long would such light be enough to keep him from totally succumbing to the demons that roared in his blood and in his head. Power beyond imagining but... oh the price he would have to pay.
He’d paid a small part of it tonight and he wished he’d never had to pay it. Cesare wept tears he could let no one, except perhaps Chiaro, see. Dark clouds covered the stars in the sky and ominous thunder rolled in the distance. It reflected the agony inside, why had Juan pushed for this final step in their dance? He’d had everything; their father’s love, wealth, power, and freedom of sorts, and he’d squandered it all because he was jealous and afraid.
Cesare hadn’t hated his brother, not once had he begrudged his younger sibling anything, not even when his father was unable to look at him when he was a boy. The young cardinal had learned why his family trembled at the sight of him, but he’d never asked for these dark powers, this blood that was poison in his veins. But he had them and he used them for his own ends nobody else’s, even if they did not like the path he chose.
His shoulders shook as he tried to contain the raging emotions, perhaps what cut him to the bone was that rasp of steel on sheath when Chiaro drew his sword to fulfill a promise made when they were children. If only the young assassin hadn’t hesitated on that fateful day none of this, none of it, would have happened. But he hadn’t; instead he had remained loyally, faithfully at his side, doing the darkest of tasks all at his command.
The rabble of Rome might never know that the assassin Michelotto was his angel of light Chiaro. But the blonde was his last hope of retaining his sanity as the demons bayed inside him to wreak blood and carnage upon this mortal world. He still ruled his actions, but it grew harder and harder each day to be the one in control.
He hadn’t consciously decided to kill Juan, his brother had brought that upon himself. Splattered with so much of Cesare’s blood, death was inevitable; only the young assassin had any kind of immunity to the Cantarella. But still he was the tool that ended the young aristocrat’s life, maybe it would have been kinder if he had drawn his sword and slain him. The look that was a mix of horror, hatred, and despair would haunt him as much as anything could anymore.
The wind picked up drawing the distant storm closer at a rapid pace. Rain could be smelt upon the breeze. But no matter how much it poured nothing would be able to cleanse away this stain. Juan’s death on his head and the agony of knowing there was nothing he could have done to change his brother’s hate to anything less damning.
Why did Chiaro have to hesitate then and now? Cesare’s thoughts swirled around this new point to drive his agony higher. Had the man no love for him whatsoever that he allowed him to live with the potential for doing more and more damage to this world? He’d promised to kill him if the demons claimed him, but would he be able to use his sword if that fate befell him? Or would he be too late and would Cesare end up with his best friend’s death on his heart as well?
As the rain began to fall, his tears began to fall in earnest. Some were for Juan and some were for the dim hope that Chiaro would be able to save him from himself. The dark hair fell to cover his face as raindrops and tears blended together to wet his skin. By his own choice he was becoming more and more of a monster and his angel was letting him, what was he turning his angel into?
Lightning split the sky as the deluge really let loose, he almost wished it would rain forever. Perhaps then all of this ugliness, perhaps even he, could be washed away in a never ending storm. The darkness inside him hissed at the thought of being relegated back into nothingness, but he didn’t listen to their whispers, focusing harder on his own pain.
Maybe it was because his focus was so tightly driven inside that he missed the soft splash of footsteps in the rain. He didn’t register that someone was behind him until a well oiled leather cloak was dropped over his sopping head. Startled violet eyes snapped up to meet calm blue.
“I can’t leave you out here like this, no matter what you say,” Chiaro’s voice was low but Cesare could still hear him perfectly well over the rumble of the storm.
“I was enjoying the rain.” The young cardinal pushed to his feet, the desperate grip on his arms was shifted to pull the cloak tight about him.
“Don’t enjoy it too much, Cesare, the sky won’t fall forever.”
“But I want it to.”
“I know, but it won’t. It can’t rain all the time. You should go home. We should go home now.” Chiaro reached out and wiped the mix of tears and rain from one of Cesare’s cheeks. For the blonde it was a matter of something to believe in, and for now he believed in the young Borgia and prayed that Cesare’s strength would prevail over the demons in the end.