Zuko's Diary: Book Two
This all started in the comment section of Mark Watches Avatar: The Last Airbender in the Book Two episode "Bitter Work." I said that I'd give anything to read Zuko's diary, and imagined the following entry: "Dear Diary, another terrible, horrible, no-good very bad day. Azula tried to kill me again, and then I fell down. Can't find Avatar, but stepped in sky bison poop, so maybe he's around. Nobody understands my pain. No progress re: my honor. Now Uncle is snoring, so can't even sleep. Guess I'll just brood in the dark. - Zuko." Then I started writing one diary entry for every episode Zuko appeared in, and some episodes without him. Due to popular demand, I've gone back and written entries from the beginning of Book Two, and I'll start working on Book One as well.
Zuko's Diary - Book Two: Earth
The Avatar State
Dear Diary,
Azula always lies -- so what she said about Father wanting me back, that was a lie, but when she said Father considers me a miserable failure, was that a lie? What if she lied about lying about that? We're fugitives now. I mean, we were kind of fugitives before, but I had a ship and soldiers. I have to cut myself off from the Father Nation Fire Nation for now, but once I bring back the Avatar, I'll regain everything I've lost. My tortured soul yearns for acceptance, ever on the brink of eternal heartbreak. Also, my scalp is itchy where the hair is growing in.
Cave of Two Lovers
Dear Diary,
She didn't know what I've been through, not really. What does she know about my suffering? Her father might have been taken away, but my father threw me away. And I'm not sorry I took the ostrich-horse. Anyway, Uncle insisted that we send them a thank you note at the next village. I told him that fugitives don't send thank you notes, but he says that good manners are for everybody.
The Swamp
Dear Diary,
Begging for copper coins like common commoners. My humiliation knows no depths. Thank hotman that my hat comes down over my rolling eyes. There's a reason why nobody liked Music Night when Uncle sang. And it wasn't just because his version of "Firelilies Over Fung Shu Wen" is 42 minutes long. He wanted to know why I spent that gold piece on a Blue Spirit mask, but I told him to mind his own business. I have plans for that mask.
Avatar Day
Dear Diary,
Every time I came back after a successful haul, Uncle would just sigh heavily and talk about the virtues of poverty. Well, if he's content to grub along in the dirt like a peasant for the rest of his life, that's fine. But I'm destined for greater things, and if Uncle can't support me in that, I'm better off alone. Now trying to come up with a better bandit name than the Blue Spirit. Maybe the Ferocious Inferno. Or the Ennobled Enigma!
Blind Bandit
Dear Diary,
Apparently "the Ennobled Enigma" isn't as impressive a bandit name as I could have hoped. I had to repeat myself several times, and I still don't think that merchant understood what I was saying. Anyway, pickings were slim. And I'm getting hungry. Uncle always did the cooking. But I don't need him. I don't need anybody!
Zuko Alone
Dear Diary,
Mother said never to forget who I am. And if I'm not Crown Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, who am I? My tormented soul will never know the transcendent power of a mother's love again. My heart has been flung into the unending void of desert night. My fragile emotions are crushed beneath the black waves of despair like those weird little jellyfish that wash up on the beach. Have decided to name the ostrich-horse Lord Feather-Withers.
The Chase
Dear Diary,
Azula tried to kill me, and then I fell down. Then all of a sudden I was fighting against Azula alongside Uncle, the Avatar and his friends, and she still got away -- though not before she almost killed Uncle. That water tribe girl pretended that she could help him, but I don't trust any of them. I can help Uncle myself, I don't need help from anyone! He keeps moaning, "More tea!" but when I give him the tea I made he coughs and makes a weird face. Maybe you crush up the leaves really fine before you boil them in the kettle; I bet that's the ticket.
Bitter Work
Dear Diary,
The very universe is against me! I cry unto the heavens, yet they will not part. One little lightning strike, that's all I asked for, but even that is to be denied me. Uncle reckons that I should have held up a long metal pole. As if that would have changed the universe's mind. No, it's just one in a long line of tragic disappointments inflicted on me by fate. I bet Azula gets hit by lightning all the time. She probably does it twice before breakfast.
The Library
Dear Diary,
Sometimes I feel like nothing I do even matters. Everyone's always so impressed with the Avatar, and I get ignored. When I regain my honor and my throne, they'll be sorry. They'll ALL be sorry! The flames will burn with an unquenchable -- brb, Uncle wants me to pet a turtleduck. No one understands my pain.
The Desert
Dear Diary,
If Azula ever finds out I hid in a flowerpot, I will kill myself to save my honor. If Father ever gives it back to me, that is. Which he will! The flowers will bloom once more in the melancholy dirt that is my soul! And the flowerpot represents my shattered dreams! Only not shattered, because the pot wasn't shattered. But my dreams are! I'm writing an epic ballad about it for Music Night.
The Secret of the Fire Nation
Dear Diary,
Refugees. Lost. Cast out. Borne across the waters of despair to land like flotsam on the sands of hopelessness! Ferry was filthy, got grime all over scabbard. Jet tried to recruit me, but I'm a lone wolf-mongoose, doomed to lonely loneliness, etc. Until honor is restored, will suffer in painful solitude. Got to go, Uncle making me learn pai sho. He'd better teach me the lotus tile trick.
City of Walls and Secrets
Dear Diary,
I wish Azula could have seen me kicking ass in that swordfight. Maybe I could write a letter about it and send it to Spoiled Brat, Father's Right Hand, 1 Central Palace Way, Fire Nation. I'll have to ask Uncle for a stamp later, because he cried himself to sleep after I told him that my pain was too deep for tea to heal.
Tales of Ba Sing Se
Dear Diary,
It wasn't really a date, it was just two people doing activities in a coordinated fashion in the same area. But even though it totally wasn't a date, Uncle insisted on telling me about the antelope-birds and the mocking-bees while he did my hair. It all sounds pretty undignified. I think he must be mistaken. Mother and Father wouldn't have done that. And I'm pretty sure that Azula sprang fully formed from the depths of a subterranean vent in hell.
Lake Laogai
Dear Diary,
My soul swarms with dark, moody confusion. I may have given up my one chance to regain my honor. But Uncle was yelling and I got so confused! (Btw, Uncle was wrong, I totally could have gotten out of that ice cave. Totally. I'd have come up with a solution any minute.) Also, can't stop sneezing, bet I'm allergic to that flying bison. Damn you, Avatar! Life is bleak.
The Earth King
Dear Diary,
Uncle says this is a metamorphosis, but it feels more like the stomach flu. The fiery tumult coursing through my soul! The conflict which has rent the fabric of my very being! I can see nothing in front of me but dishonor and pain. But when I told him that, he patted my head and said something about me being a very sulky little butterfly. Just for that I threw up on his sandals.
The Guru
Dear Diary,
There's this feeling inside my chest, like it's warm or something. And my lips keep twitching upward. I think - I think I may be happy. Is this how everyone else feels all the time? Maybe my destiny isn't to be the Fire Lord. Maybe I'm supposed to be the best tea boy in the entire Earth Kingdom. Uncle taught me how to sweep the floor correctly, and I hardly ever drop scalding tea in someone's lap anymore. And tomorrow we serve the Earth King at the palace. I have a really good feeling about this! Today is the first day of the rest of my life!
The Crossroads of Destiny
Dear Diary,
Sure, Azula had me seized and thrown in a dungeon. But this time she's totally changed! Why can't Uncle see that? Being an Earth Kingdom tea boy is one thing, but how can I ally myself with the Avatar against Father and the Fire Nation? I can't turn my back on the destiny that has been laid out for me from the day I was born, can I? Uncle's not a traitor, he's just confused, and once I explain it to him, he'll see I had no choice. Won't he? Everything is going to be fine, as soon as Father restores my honor to me. Fine. Just fine. Completely fine.
Zuko's Diary - Book Two: Earth
The Avatar State
Dear Diary,
Azula always lies -- so what she said about Father wanting me back, that was a lie, but when she said Father considers me a miserable failure, was that a lie? What if she lied about lying about that? We're fugitives now. I mean, we were kind of fugitives before, but I had a ship and soldiers. I have to cut myself off from the Father Nation Fire Nation for now, but once I bring back the Avatar, I'll regain everything I've lost. My tortured soul yearns for acceptance, ever on the brink of eternal heartbreak. Also, my scalp is itchy where the hair is growing in.
Cave of Two Lovers
Dear Diary,
She didn't know what I've been through, not really. What does she know about my suffering? Her father might have been taken away, but my father threw me away. And I'm not sorry I took the ostrich-horse. Anyway, Uncle insisted that we send them a thank you note at the next village. I told him that fugitives don't send thank you notes, but he says that good manners are for everybody.
The Swamp
Dear Diary,
Begging for copper coins like common commoners. My humiliation knows no depths. Thank hotman that my hat comes down over my rolling eyes. There's a reason why nobody liked Music Night when Uncle sang. And it wasn't just because his version of "Firelilies Over Fung Shu Wen" is 42 minutes long. He wanted to know why I spent that gold piece on a Blue Spirit mask, but I told him to mind his own business. I have plans for that mask.
Avatar Day
Dear Diary,
Every time I came back after a successful haul, Uncle would just sigh heavily and talk about the virtues of poverty. Well, if he's content to grub along in the dirt like a peasant for the rest of his life, that's fine. But I'm destined for greater things, and if Uncle can't support me in that, I'm better off alone. Now trying to come up with a better bandit name than the Blue Spirit. Maybe the Ferocious Inferno. Or the Ennobled Enigma!
Blind Bandit
Dear Diary,
Apparently "the Ennobled Enigma" isn't as impressive a bandit name as I could have hoped. I had to repeat myself several times, and I still don't think that merchant understood what I was saying. Anyway, pickings were slim. And I'm getting hungry. Uncle always did the cooking. But I don't need him. I don't need anybody!
Zuko Alone
Dear Diary,
Mother said never to forget who I am. And if I'm not Crown Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, who am I? My tormented soul will never know the transcendent power of a mother's love again. My heart has been flung into the unending void of desert night. My fragile emotions are crushed beneath the black waves of despair like those weird little jellyfish that wash up on the beach. Have decided to name the ostrich-horse Lord Feather-Withers.
The Chase
Dear Diary,
Azula tried to kill me, and then I fell down. Then all of a sudden I was fighting against Azula alongside Uncle, the Avatar and his friends, and she still got away -- though not before she almost killed Uncle. That water tribe girl pretended that she could help him, but I don't trust any of them. I can help Uncle myself, I don't need help from anyone! He keeps moaning, "More tea!" but when I give him the tea I made he coughs and makes a weird face. Maybe you crush up the leaves really fine before you boil them in the kettle; I bet that's the ticket.
Bitter Work
Dear Diary,
The very universe is against me! I cry unto the heavens, yet they will not part. One little lightning strike, that's all I asked for, but even that is to be denied me. Uncle reckons that I should have held up a long metal pole. As if that would have changed the universe's mind. No, it's just one in a long line of tragic disappointments inflicted on me by fate. I bet Azula gets hit by lightning all the time. She probably does it twice before breakfast.
The Library
Dear Diary,
Sometimes I feel like nothing I do even matters. Everyone's always so impressed with the Avatar, and I get ignored. When I regain my honor and my throne, they'll be sorry. They'll ALL be sorry! The flames will burn with an unquenchable -- brb, Uncle wants me to pet a turtleduck. No one understands my pain.
The Desert
Dear Diary,
If Azula ever finds out I hid in a flowerpot, I will kill myself to save my honor. If Father ever gives it back to me, that is. Which he will! The flowers will bloom once more in the melancholy dirt that is my soul! And the flowerpot represents my shattered dreams! Only not shattered, because the pot wasn't shattered. But my dreams are! I'm writing an epic ballad about it for Music Night.
The Secret of the Fire Nation
Dear Diary,
Refugees. Lost. Cast out. Borne across the waters of despair to land like flotsam on the sands of hopelessness! Ferry was filthy, got grime all over scabbard. Jet tried to recruit me, but I'm a lone wolf-mongoose, doomed to lonely loneliness, etc. Until honor is restored, will suffer in painful solitude. Got to go, Uncle making me learn pai sho. He'd better teach me the lotus tile trick.
City of Walls and Secrets
Dear Diary,
I wish Azula could have seen me kicking ass in that swordfight. Maybe I could write a letter about it and send it to Spoiled Brat, Father's Right Hand, 1 Central Palace Way, Fire Nation. I'll have to ask Uncle for a stamp later, because he cried himself to sleep after I told him that my pain was too deep for tea to heal.
Tales of Ba Sing Se
Dear Diary,
It wasn't really a date, it was just two people doing activities in a coordinated fashion in the same area. But even though it totally wasn't a date, Uncle insisted on telling me about the antelope-birds and the mocking-bees while he did my hair. It all sounds pretty undignified. I think he must be mistaken. Mother and Father wouldn't have done that. And I'm pretty sure that Azula sprang fully formed from the depths of a subterranean vent in hell.
Lake Laogai
Dear Diary,
My soul swarms with dark, moody confusion. I may have given up my one chance to regain my honor. But Uncle was yelling and I got so confused! (Btw, Uncle was wrong, I totally could have gotten out of that ice cave. Totally. I'd have come up with a solution any minute.) Also, can't stop sneezing, bet I'm allergic to that flying bison. Damn you, Avatar! Life is bleak.
The Earth King
Dear Diary,
Uncle says this is a metamorphosis, but it feels more like the stomach flu. The fiery tumult coursing through my soul! The conflict which has rent the fabric of my very being! I can see nothing in front of me but dishonor and pain. But when I told him that, he patted my head and said something about me being a very sulky little butterfly. Just for that I threw up on his sandals.
The Guru
Dear Diary,
There's this feeling inside my chest, like it's warm or something. And my lips keep twitching upward. I think - I think I may be happy. Is this how everyone else feels all the time? Maybe my destiny isn't to be the Fire Lord. Maybe I'm supposed to be the best tea boy in the entire Earth Kingdom. Uncle taught me how to sweep the floor correctly, and I hardly ever drop scalding tea in someone's lap anymore. And tomorrow we serve the Earth King at the palace. I have a really good feeling about this! Today is the first day of the rest of my life!
The Crossroads of Destiny
Dear Diary,
Sure, Azula had me seized and thrown in a dungeon. But this time she's totally changed! Why can't Uncle see that? Being an Earth Kingdom tea boy is one thing, but how can I ally myself with the Avatar against Father and the Fire Nation? I can't turn my back on the destiny that has been laid out for me from the day I was born, can I? Uncle's not a traitor, he's just confused, and once I explain it to him, he'll see I had no choice. Won't he? Everything is going to be fine, as soon as Father restores my honor to me. Fine. Just fine. Completely fine.