Why didn't you pick up the phone?

[lilacrosebeauty]

This morning after dropping off my brother at work I curled into bed again, I have had bizarre and strange dreams for a few months now, some revolving about past experiences and some not so much, but the one this morning was a mixture of a few things and a bit of new things

Comments

[anonymous]

Those are probably your two greatest fears, and its worse that they tag teamed you. This is one hell of a roller coaster of a nightmare. If we include the iPod, perhaps its your three greatest fears so far. But you overcame the iPod, you fixed it. And I think its symbolic. Perhaps its becuase last month was a special month, and it was like the memories of the abortion and the other hurtful memories were hurting you. But you're strong, and you over came those. Yet, you only have soo much energy left. You can only fight for so long.

You know what else? the man... in the picture. It didn't make sense to me before, but now it does. The man was the only one there who was helping you. And you ran. No one condemns you for that, running is good and getting far away. But look what happened, you ran and worse yet you ran straight into the construction site. A place that fears you, I am sure. Seems almost like deja vu, the home place to the hispanics. But you crashed there, so now you were helpless and imobile.

And that's worse. Someone tried to help and you ran and it seems like its the same situation again. Deja vu. It's like something happened before. You were running from the one person in the dream who did offer to help. Union Station has to be busy. There must of been other people, but only one person offered help. And that person was helping even when Aaron wasn't.

And again, that got me thinking with the other conversation. Death, Two and even the army one have a lot in common. But I know you fear that Death and Two are the same. The same with empty promises. And I know you fear that Death is going to avoid you and lock you out, like Two did. I know. Why? Because you said it to me yourself, even though you later forgot it, but I have my own theories on it. The two of them have huge similarties, perhaps more than you know. Heh, all three of their guilds for the most part collapsed and left them in the cold... and all three are pretty much what is known as Ilterendi. All three are very similar. You said yourself, that Death said almost word for word everything Two said to you. Same story, different time. Everything was wonderful with Two, but that collapsed. Everything is wonderful with Death now. And you fear the deja vu.

Death could choose to not log on and to not call you, and you'd be isolated. Perhaps its the similarties that already exist between Death and Two that has driven these fears. It's as if you're stuck in a rut, liking only one-type of men. Think about it, you were running from two hispanics and what did you do? run into where there were even more hispanics. It's almost as if you got out of something and went back in even deeper.

Oddly enough. I think this is all related to our walls too. I know, there are somethings you "forget" when you talk. I am not sure if you really do or if you opt to not talk about it. But I do know from previous times that they are true. So perhaps its just you putting up your walls. You're afraid to talk about it because you're afraid it will hurt you. And perhaps thats why all the fears. You're afraid to lower your walls for Death, and then have Death stab you in the back like Two did. You forget things because its sometimes easier to forget them, rather than to face them. It's like you're just constantly running away.

It's pretty obvious why you were shot in the heart. I don't think I need to detail that one.