Wrong, Chapter 5
Back at the 11th Ikkaku had watched Yumichika leave and then slammed his fist into the screen door, breaking through one of the panels. He feels so damn horny and that secretive glint in Yumichika’s eye didn’t help. What is he up to? Ikkaku knows him well enough to know that he’s up to something. He didn’t tell Yumichika the other morning, but he and Kira haven’t actually had sex yet. The night before last they’d slept together, but nothing more. He was actually afraid that Yumichika would see this as worse - more personal and intimate - so he’d let him assume that they had. He doesn’t want to be too pushy, but, god, the waiting is driving him crazy already...
He’d paid Kira an early morning visit, hoping to catch him in bed, still sleep-drugged and pliable, but he was up. He had the air of someone who’d been up for hours, doing useful things. He’d made Ikkaku tea, and told him that he absolutely understood why Ikkaku had had to go so abruptly the night before.
‘You mustn’t worry about it,’ he’d said, peering at Ikkaku with a look of devastating patience and understanding. ‘I don’t blame you at all.’
Ikkaku had forgotten that he’d done anything that might require him to feel bad, so this came as a bit of a surprise. And for once the sweetness and calm and patience made him feel a bit fidgety. His mind kept returning unbidden to his futon at the 11th, complete with a sleeping Yumichika sprawled across it... he rarely had a chance to observe Yumichika deeply asleep - he was nearly always up before him.
And Yumichika had seemed so beautiful and defenceless, his limbs wound up in the sheet, one hand fiercely gripping the pillow. Ikkaku had pushed back a heavy lock of hair that had fallen over his face, half-hoping he’d wake, but he’d only stirred a little.
He’d tried to dispel the image by taking Kira’s tea away from him and kissing him urgently, skimming his fingertips over that sharp jawline, his other hand in the small of his back. Kira had returned his kisses obediently, but it seemed to Ikkaku that he lacked passion. He seemed awkward as well, and eventually Ikkaku had given up, arranging to come back that afternoon.
He’s so sure that there must be suppressed passion in Kira. That under that meek, submissive exterior he must have his own fierce desires, his own fire. Ikkaku wants to unlock it. He wants to see the real Kira. Once he’s done that, he feels that perhaps he’ll be able to give him up with equanimity. When he knows what’s there.
Over at the 9th, Shuuhei really ought to’ve heeded the warnings his brain was throwing at him, and sent Yumichika straight back the 11th once their little transaction was over. He knows it’s not a good plan to get in too deep here. But instead he persuaded Yumichika to stay and drink tea with him while he told him all about his experience of being in a relationship with Kira.
‘Izuru’ he says, ‘is fairly terrible in bed. I don’t know if it’s just because he’s got hang-ups about Ichimaru, but it’s a fucking drag. Anyway, it’s what we split up about. I gave him a lot of time, I was patient, I didn’t criticise at first, but after a few months of him murmuring ‘taichou’ when I’m inside him, and crying afterwards... god, you can’t imagine.
Shuuhei tries not to smile as he watches Yumichika’s expression become slowly more and more satisfied and calculating. He continues.
‘It’s seriously demoralising. And also, he doesn’t do much, y’know, he’s not like you, he doesn’t take the initiative very much. Sometimes it’s a bit like making love to a corpse. Or, y’know, what you imagine making love to a corpse would be like...’
‘And when you don’t get much response except tears and shit, well, you get nervous, and you start to think you’re doing something wrong.’
Yumichika hits him lightly on the upper arm, ‘Don’t be an idiot Shuuhei. If you’d been doing ‘something wrong’ with me, you’d know about it, I can tell you...’
‘Anyway, perhaps Ikkaku won’t mind too much if Kira’s thinking of another man, because he will be himself, won’t he?’ says Shuuhei.
‘What, me?’ says Yumichika, a forlorn note entering his voice. ‘I don’t know how much he’s been thinking about me recently...’
‘Oh, come on...’ Shuuhei traps Yumichika’s face between his hands. ‘I was thinking of you when I was with Kira, for the last few weeks. So Ikkaku definitely will.’ He smooths silky hair away from Yumichika’s face. ‘Before we came out, that night, we made love, if you can call it that, and he whispered ‘taichou’, like normal, so I let myself say your name. And he hated it so much that that was it. We were over.’
This makes Yumichika laugh, which was what Shuuhei was aiming for, though it's a bitter little laugh. He continues, ‘Anyway, even setting you aside, Ikkaku’s probably just about as captain-obsessed as Kira is, in his way.’
‘That’s true,’ Yumichika murmurs. ‘The captain and I - we must be the most important people to Ikkaku...’
‘The captain and I,’ The words run around Yumichika’s head as he walks back towards the 11th. It was obviously no good expecting to get a rise out of Ikkaku with someone like Shuuhei - he’d shown how little he cared about that the night he got with Kira. But the Captain! If it was possible, it was the best plan Yumichika had had yet. Ikkaku would be doubly jealous. And after their encounter this morning, Yumichika thinks it might just be possible...
He feels, if not exactly happy, at least cheerful. He wonders if he might get slightly addicted to Shuuhei’s reiatsu. It does feel so good... he can see himself going over there quite a lot, if this carries on. And he’d enjoyed Shuuhei’s company as well. It was nice to feel that he didn’t have to hide anything.
After and hour or so of making life hell for his subordinates Ikkaku goes back and looks at the mess he’s made of the door and supposes that he’d better mend it before Yumichika gets back. He’s always liked working with his hands, and as he removes the damaged panel he begins to feel a bit more serene. He doesn’t hurry. He goes away and cuts a new piece of rice paper to the right size. They always keep some to hand, as Ikkaku’s done this a few times before... He’s about to check it against the gap, hoping he won’t have to take the whole door apart to slot it in, when Yumichika’s face appears there.
‘Ooh, what happened?’ he says. He looks, Ikkaku thinks, incredibly different to the waif-like creature he’d been earlier. He vaguely wonders why. Automatically he leans forward to kiss him through the hole. Yumichika pulls back.
Ikkaku opens the door and reaches for him again. ‘What is it?’ he asks. ‘You’re looking better...’
Yumichika subtly moves out of reach. ‘Why thank-you!’ he says, looking coyly down and putting one hand to his cheek. ‘I feel better... but, Ikkaku?’
‘What?’ Ikkaku has a bad feeling, suddenly. He’s sure he’s not going to like this - there’s something about Yumichika’s tone.
‘Do you mind, just for this month, if we don’t... you know... do anything? It would make it easier for me...
Ikkaku’s face falls. ‘You... don’t want me to touch you? For a month?’
God, I do want you to touch me, thinks Yumichika. It’s so hard not to just throw himself at Ikkaku. But it seems that Shuuhei was right. Ikkaku is obviously enormously frustrated, and when his enforced celibacy ends in bad sex, he’ll be driven nearly mad by it. Yumichika is determined not to make it easy for him. He won’t let him have the satisfaction of simultaneously getting great sex with Yumichika and the thrill of novelty and pursuit with Kira. If he’s allowed to dilute the insipidity of Kira with a dash of Yumichika-flavoured fun and vivacity then he’ll never realise what a mistake he’s making...
‘You tease!’ says Ikkaku. It’s almost a groan.
‘Me a tease?!!’ Yumichika makes his tone reproachful. ‘Don’t be greedy, Ikkaku. You can’t have your cake and eat it.’
Damn! thinks Ikkaku. It’s too late now to explain that he’s not getting any cake from Kira. Yumichika would never believe him. And he’d probably laugh at him. He’s just going to have to make damn sure that Kira capitulates soon. ‘OK, OK.’ he says. ‘If that’s what’s going to make you happy then I won’t. But, damn it, Yumichika... you’re hard to resist...’
He stands exaggeratedly back for Yumichika to pass through the door, and then realises that he’s entirely scrumpled up the perfect sheet of paper in his hand.
As soon as his face is hidden from Ikkaku’s view Yumichika relaxes and lets the grin he’s been repressing break out. Thank goodness Ikkaku hadn’t actually asked him to come to him outright, though, because he’d’ve capitulated in moments... Yumichika could never refuse Ikkaku anything. Now he just has to set things in motion for the finishing touch. As soon as he thinks of this aspect of his plan, though, he feels like a swarm of hell butterflies just took off in his stomach. Is this really a good idea? he starts to think, but hastily squashes the thought. If he can get this right Ikkaku will be begging him to take him back. And he won’t be satisfied by anything less than that now.