:(
You know how some weekends are great and you get back to work on Monday feeling refreshed and, though never actually happy to be at work, you are at least generally optimistic and in a pretty good mood? And then there are the weekends that are horrible and stressful that by Sunday night you are more exhausted than you were Friday night and the thought of a Monday very nearly brings tears to your eyes?
Well, my weekend was neither of those. It started out ok - I was home on Friday, took Mac to get fingerprinted for our dear friends at the INS, got some studying in, cleaned out my closet (found a skirt from last year that I like better this year and am wearing today!) Saturday headed to the beach for the afternoon to catch up with some friends. Saturday was a goregous day for the beach and although we experienced a heap of traffic on the way down, it was quite the relaxing way to spend the weekend afternoon.
But, two very stressful things happened this weekend that kinda left me with a down feeling today and I think I need to get them out (beyond just talking to Mac - poor guy had to deal with me all weekend) and see what other people think.
So - the first thing. Part of the homework for my GMAT prep class this week was to take a full practice test. I took tons of these two years ago when I was first preparing for the test, and I took another one a few weeks ago as the diagnostic test for my class. I took this week's test yesterday and got the worst score that I have ever gotten on any practice test. Worse than practice tests I took last year without the 'benefit' of a class, worse even (by a fair amount - about 90% worse actually) than the test I took a few weeks ago, before I even started to study. This thew me into a panic of frustration, anger, depression, hoplessnes, and a slew of other-not-so-great feelings. I mean, I know that I should not have expected to see drastic improvements now, with still 4 weeks left of the class. And I'd still be upset if my score had stayed the same - but not to the degree I am now seeing it drop so dramatically. I'm left not knowing what to think, or what do to. I've been getting all of the homework done each week, though probably not spending the estimated 10 hours on it, so one strategy might be to spend more time and actually take the time to go through each question that I get wrong, in detail. So I am trying that this week. But, overall I am very frustrated. This test is one of the most difficult things that I have ever experienced. And usually, I love a challenge. But this is getting to be ridiculous. I am spending all of my time either studying for the test, planning when I will study next for the test, having long discussions about how frustrated I am by the test, worrying that all my studying won't pay off, and the list goes on. I even found myself working out a problem in my head while in the shower the other day. This is getting bad :( I was so frustrated yesterday that I ended up yelling at Mac - who was only trying to help and make me feel better and had spent all day taking care of the grocery shopping and laundry and all those other logistical Sunday things so that I could study. This test makes me a mean, depressed person - and I still have one more month of this :(
The second thing is even more complicated and will now have to wait as I just got back from my first meeting of the day and have a heap of work to do . . . .
Well, my weekend was neither of those. It started out ok - I was home on Friday, took Mac to get fingerprinted for our dear friends at the INS, got some studying in, cleaned out my closet (found a skirt from last year that I like better this year and am wearing today!) Saturday headed to the beach for the afternoon to catch up with some friends. Saturday was a goregous day for the beach and although we experienced a heap of traffic on the way down, it was quite the relaxing way to spend the weekend afternoon.
But, two very stressful things happened this weekend that kinda left me with a down feeling today and I think I need to get them out (beyond just talking to Mac - poor guy had to deal with me all weekend) and see what other people think.
So - the first thing. Part of the homework for my GMAT prep class this week was to take a full practice test. I took tons of these two years ago when I was first preparing for the test, and I took another one a few weeks ago as the diagnostic test for my class. I took this week's test yesterday and got the worst score that I have ever gotten on any practice test. Worse than practice tests I took last year without the 'benefit' of a class, worse even (by a fair amount - about 90% worse actually) than the test I took a few weeks ago, before I even started to study. This thew me into a panic of frustration, anger, depression, hoplessnes, and a slew of other-not-so-great feelings. I mean, I know that I should not have expected to see drastic improvements now, with still 4 weeks left of the class. And I'd still be upset if my score had stayed the same - but not to the degree I am now seeing it drop so dramatically. I'm left not knowing what to think, or what do to. I've been getting all of the homework done each week, though probably not spending the estimated 10 hours on it, so one strategy might be to spend more time and actually take the time to go through each question that I get wrong, in detail. So I am trying that this week. But, overall I am very frustrated. This test is one of the most difficult things that I have ever experienced. And usually, I love a challenge. But this is getting to be ridiculous. I am spending all of my time either studying for the test, planning when I will study next for the test, having long discussions about how frustrated I am by the test, worrying that all my studying won't pay off, and the list goes on. I even found myself working out a problem in my head while in the shower the other day. This is getting bad :( I was so frustrated yesterday that I ended up yelling at Mac - who was only trying to help and make me feel better and had spent all day taking care of the grocery shopping and laundry and all those other logistical Sunday things so that I could study. This test makes me a mean, depressed person - and I still have one more month of this :(
The second thing is even more complicated and will now have to wait as I just got back from my first meeting of the day and have a heap of work to do . . . .