(no subject)
Somebody tell William he breaks my heart?
I'm done being vague about this just because there are people who can access this that may see him.
It kills me not to talk to him. And yet I don't think writing him the letter that told him I'd let him talk to me whenever he wanted and I'd stop pestering him was bad. Friendships have to be honest, and that's something he hasn't been in the past year. And all I do is send him 1,000,000 messages begging him to talk, and after months of no response and half a year of feeling like I lost him... What else could I do, except to be honest?
It sucks when someone you would probably give up your life for, no exaggeration, can't find it in them to... I dunno, be open, I suppose. Direct. Not hiding and lying. Because what kind of a friendship lasts when someone hides and lies?
And this time around, it's only me that suffers the silence. I have no idea how much of it has to do with him being a boy and also having a girlfriend who seems slightly possessive, but Lily seemed to hint as much.
I don't know whether to be angry or broken. I still have nightmares about his safety, from time to time.
So basically, I have to give up hope that I'll ever have a William again. My honesty may have destroyed the last bit of desire to be friends. But I don't want to give up. Because I like having friends. Blar blar blar.
Life goes on even when you have a platonic broken heart. I've learned that much. (Doesn't mean I like it ever.)
I'm done being vague about this just because there are people who can access this that may see him.
It kills me not to talk to him. And yet I don't think writing him the letter that told him I'd let him talk to me whenever he wanted and I'd stop pestering him was bad. Friendships have to be honest, and that's something he hasn't been in the past year. And all I do is send him 1,000,000 messages begging him to talk, and after months of no response and half a year of feeling like I lost him... What else could I do, except to be honest?
It sucks when someone you would probably give up your life for, no exaggeration, can't find it in them to... I dunno, be open, I suppose. Direct. Not hiding and lying. Because what kind of a friendship lasts when someone hides and lies?
And this time around, it's only me that suffers the silence. I have no idea how much of it has to do with him being a boy and also having a girlfriend who seems slightly possessive, but Lily seemed to hint as much.
I don't know whether to be angry or broken. I still have nightmares about his safety, from time to time.
So basically, I have to give up hope that I'll ever have a William again. My honesty may have destroyed the last bit of desire to be friends. But I don't want to give up. Because I like having friends. Blar blar blar.
Life goes on even when you have a platonic broken heart. I've learned that much. (Doesn't mean I like it ever.)