renting / babies / hubby / ohmy
I miss writing. I used to write all the time in this thing...or my previous journal and now I just can't seem to make time to get my thoughts out. I'm sure this will be a little haphazard, but I wanted to update y'all....
Life, for me, has been pretty okay lately. Ninja and I are getting ready to move. We spoke with a mortgage guy about possibly buying but the more we thought about it, the more we realized that's not really what we should do at this point. As much as I crave my own space and a yard and multiple rooms/bathrooms, I can't kick this feeling that it's just not right, timing-wise.
Hear me out here...I've tried explaining what we're actually doing to tons of people, but for some reason they just don't get it. I'm a strong believer in delayed gratification and living below your means. I haven't always been that way, but I've learned to make decisions based on what I want MOST, not what I want now. Anyway, Ninja and I found a small apartment in the basement of a guys house. It's one bedroom, one bath/extremely tiny/no dishwasher. However, it's literally $535 with all utilities paid. When we did the math, we'd be saving around $350 a month if we sucked it up and lived there for one year. Almost all our debt could be wiped completely clean and next year when we want to buy our first house and have our first child, old debt won't be hanging over our heads like a black cloud of death.
Part of me screams out, "But I don't know if I can deal with such a small place! I need room!!!" The other part sees it as a wise choice for our future. Part of me is extremely embarassed that we'll be living in a basement...What will people think? The other part of me wants to throw up 2 middle fingers to the people who would judge us negatively for making this choice. Part of me thinks, "But I love to host get-togethers and have family come visit us!" The other part of me thinks it'll be much nicer to invite them over next year when we have a big place with tons of square footage that we can call our own. It's basically the battle of flesh vs. clear thinking. But we're leaning towards it.
A lot of people have outwardly judged that decision, thinking we must be struggling, when in all actuality we've been doing better financially than we ever have - what economic crisis??...some people have silently been judging us ~ it's obvious by the sneers on their smug little faces. It's only a year though, right?
Aside from the house hunting, we've been agressively building our business. Our income from it has gone up significantly in the recent months and I'm finally feeling less concerned about what people think of it. I'm feeling more confident because it's working for us...especially in this economy, all I want to do is help other people and offering this solution seems like the least selfish thing I can do. I'm feeling good about where it's heading.
The baby urge is in full swing. While it was merely a whisper a year ago, it's a full fledged bull horn now. I see a baby and I melt. I see a toddler hug his mom's legs and I can hear my uterus saying, "DUDE! DON'T YOU WANT THAT BY NOW!??!" Looking through pictures of the last year, I noticed a ton of pictures of Ninja holding random babies. He calms them when they're crying...and when I see it, I feel close to tears...it's beautiful. We've seen some of our closest friends have a baby this year and they feel more comfortable giving their daughter to Ninja than anyone else. Barb commented, "I just trust him the most with her." I got all welled up. I never believed people when they said your body tells you when it's time but now I'm a believer. It's another reason why we're getting aggressive with our business goals. Life won't just stop until you quit messing around...the time is now to reach our dreams. I heard a quote the other day that said, "So many people walk this earth like Clark Kent because they don't realize they can fly like Superman." How frickin' true.
Our 3 year anniversary is next month. I'm excited to celebrate with him...I'd love to get away for a weekend. I want to make this one special. Every month on the 9th we celebrate being together ~ we designated a day so we wouldn't forget to make the time for each other in this crazy busy thing called life. It's worked out well, no matter what we do...even if it's cuddling on the couch talking about our future or our love story, I still get goosebumps thinking about how amazing this man is. I know for a fact I don't deserve him. The other day I walked into the bathroom where he was getting ready for our business meeting and he stopped what he was doing to look at me. "You look beautiful, Sarah." And I swear, I've never heard my name sound so precious on someone else's lips than that very moment. I blushed. He still has that affect on me. Dang.
I'm on a weightloss journey. I've lost 10 pounds in the last few weeks. While I feel a bit better, I still have like 50 to go. That number seems daunting so I just take it one day at a time, trying to eat constantly, but eat healthier and low calorie. Since I've kept a food journal, I've been much better. And honestly, I've enjoyed the fruits and veggies. I said something in passing to Ninja because he was talking about how I used to wear bikinis and how I now wear "Grandma" bathing suits - otherwise known as Tankinis. I said, "Fine, this summer I will wear a bikini," and just as soon as the words leapt out of my mouth and he latched on to them, I knew I would have to live up to it. So either I'm going to look like a beached whale or I'm gonna work my butt off (literally) to not embarass myself. I prefer the latter.
I think that's all I have for an update. The men out of our group of friends are cooking a surprise dinner for their wives for Valentine's Day this weekend. I'm really pretty excited about the whole fiasco...I need to go pick out a sassy nailpolish for the occasion. Wish me luck that I make it through their meal alive....thank God my husband is an amazing cook and is leading the way in the kitchen.
*hugs*
S.