i find that as many people as you have come to vent to you (myself included! :-P) you need to vent somehow, and as this is your journal, there is no reason to blame you for speaking your mind. sometimes sarah bob, a little bit of selfishness is the only way to get yourself out of a situation that could be completely detrimental in the end. it is no use to you, as you rightly said, to leave yourself in a friendship or any situation that is only in turn going to infect more and more of your life. i liked your egg analogy. while you're mature, you're still in the very early part of your life, and you dont need that kinda bull holding you back, you've got to get out there and do what's going to make you feel most fulfilled. You're going to enter and change so many people's lives because of the simple fact you care and you're not so self consumed in small details that are ridiculous anyway. at least give yourself that much credit :-) as for friends moving on, yeah sometimes sadly the things we thought were best in our lives change as we grow, but that's the danger of setting things in stone when we're still young.... we don't leave ourselves growing room and so we end up hurt a lot. it's really not something we can control, and so enjoy the time with people that make you happy, and in the end, if it didnt last because of one thing or another, try not to consume yourself with thoughts of "did it just mean nothing to them??" or "where did i/we go wrong?" and more of "what a great time that was... and not only that, i've learned something about myself." because, simple as it sounds, but even more complicated in principle, knowing ourselves is probably the biggest key to truly finding who's lives we can really change. on a less serious note, the game was fun ^_^ drama still pours out from the cracks but you were on your toes with it. and spirit spec today! should be interesting. i hope we get to see it as more fun and less of "something we have to do." senior year as DM's, we better have some damn fun!!!! much love to you sarah bob :-) we gotta kick that 3rd movement in the ass soon! but until then, enjoy the time off ;-)
as for friends moving on, yeah sometimes sadly the things we thought were best in our lives change as we grow, but that's the danger of setting things in stone when we're still young.... we don't leave ourselves growing room and so we end up hurt a lot. it's really not something we can control, and so enjoy the time with people that make you happy, and in the end, if it didnt last because of one thing or another, try not to consume yourself with thoughts of "did it just mean nothing to them??" or "where did i/we go wrong?" and more of "what a great time that was... and not only that, i've learned something about myself." because, simple as it sounds, but even more complicated in principle, knowing ourselves is probably the biggest key to truly finding who's lives we can really change.
on a less serious note, the game was fun ^_^ drama still pours out from the cracks but you were on your toes with it. and spirit spec today! should be interesting. i hope we get to see it as more fun and less of "something we have to do." senior year as DM's, we better have some damn fun!!!!
much love to you sarah bob :-) we gotta kick that 3rd movement in the ass soon! but until then, enjoy the time off ;-)
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