a drunk girls words are a sober girls thoughts ..
so to start off .. im not in the best of moods and yeah its all my fault =\ .. last night i went to larissa's shore house for this lil "get together" she was having .. got there around 8:3Oish and it was just me lari, lauren, n kristen .. so we had some wine and played speed quarters .. then ant n his friends arrived and roach too.. eventually nicola and melissaa got there t0o .. too make a long story short. my ass got WASTEDD .. ha, uhm a lil too wasted tho? well acc to my boyfriend whos now mad at me =[ so yeah last nite i called him and was talkin to him and i had made a promise to go see him tonite and as one can see im not there. wish i was but im not and that sucks becus it makes everything so much worse. i forgot he had off today and i didnt call him on my way home like i sed i wud ... all things which i sed i wud do while i was drunk ..anyways dealing with an insecure and rather pissed off boyfriend is not fun altho i dont blame him at all .. its completely understandable and i feel like such shit man. john is one of the best guys ever and i feel like im totally taking advantage of him and that makes me feel horrible. dont think ive ever felt worse.. im not used to being the one that someone gets mad at .. and ive been tryin so hard to make things perfect between us and go figure id find a way to make things hard. my feelings for him are sooo strong and just thinking that hes mad at me the way he is and the fact that at the moment i cant make him as happy as he makes me just sucks. i wanna cry so bad becus i feel like such an asshole.. heres this guy, this perfect guy that ive got and im not helping him work this out at all ... i suck .. and i wish an apology could make things better but i tried and i realizeed its not gonna work and all i can do is hope that he just forgets about it... i heart him .. i really do .. thats why i havent made any bigger mistakes, its why i refuse to communicate with someone becus i know how he hates it .. im trying .. and im sorry and just know i would never do anything to hurt you <3
mwah ...