(no subject)
i can't wait until spring.
softball, warm weather, flowers, more hours of sunlight, summer coming.
the winter always makes me depressed and i get into these points where i think about horrible things and i can't eat right or sleep right and i don't want to do anything except stay home and sleep and be alone. i'm really sorry if i'm not being myself or being happy lately but all i want to do is cry and for no specific reason at all just a million little things. i always get depressed during the winter, ussually around christmas, and it held off this year for a while but i knew it would come, and here it is, and it likes to live in my head until springtime, sometimes even later, every fucking year.
its the darkness. it must be.
plus, alot of bad things always happen this time of year in my family and bad memories.
FUCCCKKKKKK.
AND YOU. YOU, BOY. YOU MAKE ME HAPPY. YOU MAKE ME HAPPIER THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD.
don't start thinking im unhappy because of you or you don't make me happy because its not when i'm with everyone so much, ESPECIALLY NOT WHEN IM WITH YOU, that i feel depressed and crap. i love you soo muccch and seriously, your the best thing thats ever happened to me.
today i realized a few things:
1) i really do worry too much
2) i need to see a doctor. immediately. for numerous reasons.
3) i don't try hard enough to see the people i love and miss alot
4) my family all hates each other
spiz-->xD!!!!!!!!
softball, warm weather, flowers, more hours of sunlight, summer coming.
the winter always makes me depressed and i get into these points where i think about horrible things and i can't eat right or sleep right and i don't want to do anything except stay home and sleep and be alone. i'm really sorry if i'm not being myself or being happy lately but all i want to do is cry and for no specific reason at all just a million little things. i always get depressed during the winter, ussually around christmas, and it held off this year for a while but i knew it would come, and here it is, and it likes to live in my head until springtime, sometimes even later, every fucking year.
its the darkness. it must be.
plus, alot of bad things always happen this time of year in my family and bad memories.
FUCCCKKKKKK.
AND YOU. YOU, BOY. YOU MAKE ME HAPPY. YOU MAKE ME HAPPIER THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD.
don't start thinking im unhappy because of you or you don't make me happy because its not when i'm with everyone so much, ESPECIALLY NOT WHEN IM WITH YOU, that i feel depressed and crap. i love you soo muccch and seriously, your the best thing thats ever happened to me.
today i realized a few things:
1) i really do worry too much
2) i need to see a doctor. immediately. for numerous reasons.
3) i don't try hard enough to see the people i love and miss alot
4) my family all hates each other
spiz-->xD!!!!!!!!