hehehe...

[lil_seagull]

heheheheheeee ok like i had this friend once rite an i thought she was like really kool like we did alot of shit 2 gether rite prolly b/c i was stupid an didnt know what i was doin she put on a good act tho heeehheee yeah ok then she got this new lil girl she was hangin out with an then they started talkn shit an the other lil girl thought it would

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You'll never read this but.. just for the hell of it, I guess.

[lonely_beauty]

This song reminds me of you.. not of literally dying of course.. but figurativly.. if that makes sense. About what might have happened if I hadn't of given you that advice a couple summers ago. Things would be so different. Maybe we'd still be the same, ya know? I don't know. You'll get it. We share the same brain still. I miss you.

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile
I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
I still can't believe you're gone

It ain't fair
You died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing no one could ever take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today

Would you see the world?
Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family?
I wonder what would you name your babies? (well, I already know that now)
Some days the sky's so blue
I feel I can talk to you
I know it might sound crazy

I dunno. I just read a lot of old entries and it made me think. And cry a lot. But I love you, Ashley. And you know I always will. We've been through some fucked up shit and you know I'll always be here. Chad or no Chad. I don't think he understands what a strong friendship he broke up last year. I don't think he gets how miserable it's made both of us. Oh well. Everything happens for a reason right? I don't hold any grudges anymore. We're too old for that shit now. Take care of Caleb. I know you will. You're a great mom.