Unwell
So I guess it is up to the individual person to decide how it is that they wish to live their life, whether they let it pass them by or if they live in the moment. It has to be one of the main things we have control of. WE control our destiny and it is up to us to decide how far it is in life we want to go. If we fail, there is no one else to blame but ourselves and yet people continuously make excuses for their faults and try to put the blame on others.
Today wasn't too bad...I have no real complaints. The grounded life sucks and I still have another 4 weeks to go after this week. With not a lot of homework and not much to do, I find myself staring at the wall, thoughts running wild throughout my twisted head. It is amazing how an imagination can run wild. If we care not to share what we are thinking, it is our own little secret that we can have all to ourselves with no one to judge us but ourselves. Sometimes I think thats worse, only because we all judge ourselves harder than anyone else because we know how much we are capable of and how much we want the things in life we strive for. No matter how hard we try, we are incapable of lying to ourselves.
There is so much that I could be doing and yet so little that I am actually doing. I guess after a certain point being overwhelmed takes over and you have to admit that you can't do everything and pleasing everyone becomes impossible. So how do you start over...at what point are you able to "get back on the horse"? Is it a matter of time or is it really just not that simple. And once you pick yourself back up, how do you stop yourself from falling?
I find myself listening to the same song over and over. I can't explain it but there is just something, amazingly enough, so comforting about the lyrics that just puts me at ease. I guess I can really just relate to them on some level. It's almost empowering.
******************************************
Unwell: Matchbox20
ALL DAY
STARING AT THE CEILING MAKING
FRIENDS WITH SHADOWS ON MY WALL
ALL NIGHT
I'M HEARING VOICES TELLING ME
THAT I SHOULD GET SOME SLEEP
BECAUSE TOMORROW MIGHT BE GOOD
FOR SOMETHING
HOLD ON
I'M FEELING LIKE I'M HEADED FOR A
BREAKDOWN
I DON'T KNOW WHY
I'M NOT CRAZY I'M JUST A LITTLE UNWELL
I KNOW RIGHT NOW YOU CAN'T TELL
BUT STAY AWHILE AND MAYBE THEN YOU'LL SEE
A DIFFERENT SIDE OF ME
I'M NOT CRAZY I'M JUST A LITTLE IMPAIRED
I KNOW RIGHT NOW YOU DON'T CARE
BUT SOON ENOUGH YOU'RE GONNA THINK OF ME
AND HOW I USED TO BE
SEE ME
TALKING TO MYSELF IN PUBLIC
AND DODGING GLANCES ON THE TRAIN
I KNOW
I KNOW THEY'VE ALL BEEN TALKING 'BOUT ME
I CAN HEAR THEM WHISPER
AND IT MAKES ME THINK THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG
WITH ME
OUT OF ALL THE HOURS THINKING
SOMEHOW
I'VE LOST MY MIND
(CHORUS)
TALKING IN MY SLEEP
PRETTY SOON THEY'LL COME TO GET ME
THEY'LL BE TAKING ME AWAY
*****************************************
You know it's amazing the direction life takes you in sometimes. Right now I feel like I'm living in a dream....like in your dreams when you are chasing after something and you can never quite reach it or sometimes even see it, but its there and just out of grasp. I just wish I knew what I was looking for...lol
Today wasn't too bad...I have no real complaints. The grounded life sucks and I still have another 4 weeks to go after this week. With not a lot of homework and not much to do, I find myself staring at the wall, thoughts running wild throughout my twisted head. It is amazing how an imagination can run wild. If we care not to share what we are thinking, it is our own little secret that we can have all to ourselves with no one to judge us but ourselves. Sometimes I think thats worse, only because we all judge ourselves harder than anyone else because we know how much we are capable of and how much we want the things in life we strive for. No matter how hard we try, we are incapable of lying to ourselves.
There is so much that I could be doing and yet so little that I am actually doing. I guess after a certain point being overwhelmed takes over and you have to admit that you can't do everything and pleasing everyone becomes impossible. So how do you start over...at what point are you able to "get back on the horse"? Is it a matter of time or is it really just not that simple. And once you pick yourself back up, how do you stop yourself from falling?
I find myself listening to the same song over and over. I can't explain it but there is just something, amazingly enough, so comforting about the lyrics that just puts me at ease. I guess I can really just relate to them on some level. It's almost empowering.
******************************************
Unwell: Matchbox20
ALL DAY
STARING AT THE CEILING MAKING
FRIENDS WITH SHADOWS ON MY WALL
ALL NIGHT
I'M HEARING VOICES TELLING ME
THAT I SHOULD GET SOME SLEEP
BECAUSE TOMORROW MIGHT BE GOOD
FOR SOMETHING
HOLD ON
I'M FEELING LIKE I'M HEADED FOR A
BREAKDOWN
I DON'T KNOW WHY
I'M NOT CRAZY I'M JUST A LITTLE UNWELL
I KNOW RIGHT NOW YOU CAN'T TELL
BUT STAY AWHILE AND MAYBE THEN YOU'LL SEE
A DIFFERENT SIDE OF ME
I'M NOT CRAZY I'M JUST A LITTLE IMPAIRED
I KNOW RIGHT NOW YOU DON'T CARE
BUT SOON ENOUGH YOU'RE GONNA THINK OF ME
AND HOW I USED TO BE
SEE ME
TALKING TO MYSELF IN PUBLIC
AND DODGING GLANCES ON THE TRAIN
I KNOW
I KNOW THEY'VE ALL BEEN TALKING 'BOUT ME
I CAN HEAR THEM WHISPER
AND IT MAKES ME THINK THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG
WITH ME
OUT OF ALL THE HOURS THINKING
SOMEHOW
I'VE LOST MY MIND
(CHORUS)
TALKING IN MY SLEEP
PRETTY SOON THEY'LL COME TO GET ME
THEY'LL BE TAKING ME AWAY
*****************************************
You know it's amazing the direction life takes you in sometimes. Right now I feel like I'm living in a dream....like in your dreams when you are chasing after something and you can never quite reach it or sometimes even see it, but its there and just out of grasp. I just wish I knew what I was looking for...lol