life as of recent
Blah lol. Just got off from work at the hospital. I love how my easy days with no class for studying have turned into working until almost midnight. I never get a fucking break. oh well
and I just realized that its been forever since I've actually written anything in here. I should maybe try to keep this up more often. If only I wasn't beating myself in the face with all the school work and shit I have.
But... to keep everyone up to date on everything. Ghaith and I are over. Just didn't work. Most people I know called it anyways, especially cuz of our distances. He sat around in hudson working. I was up here in Tallahassee.... its w/e I guess. He said I never gave him enough attention, when yeah. I was kind of at fault... but only really started ignoring him when he let his crappy self esteem and insecurities made him so emo that we always fought and I found it incredibly frustrating. While I don't say he is entirely at fault, because I made some mistakes too, I just hate the way he makes everything seem out to be my fault. I should have seen all the red flags that went up when he gave up on me shortly after I left for college to start dating other girls.
Like ashlii, he dated her.... then would call me up at 2-3 in the morning to bitch about her while I try to be asleep. Because he always said she was so needy and so horribly jealous he couldn't take it.
That lasted 3 months......
Then less than a week later starts dating another girl. He called her his friend, but had other intentions, which is what made ashlii so jealous. He dates her.. that lasts a good 6 months. Then says towards the end when I come home that she insults him and makes joking stabs at him. He calls me up at the beach to tell me that they broke up. Then I find out he went to her house the next day trying to talk shit out, and then starts crying saying shes verbally abusive and degrading. But then tells her he fell in love with me atop a roller coaster.
w/e. I give up. I'm not gonna get into details... but despite what was agreed to be mutual differences that we both took fault to. I'm apparently a backstabbing piece of shit and a bitch.... or so what ppl have told me he's said/written on his myspace.... Even though I've never talked bad about him. And seeing as though he's completely and utterly incapable of having decent communications with his ex gfs or even talking to them, 2nd chances, blah blah blah. I might as well move on. I give up. w/e
On a lighter note, Chris and I decided to give our former relationship a second chance and its worked out fantastic. Its funny how a person could be a certain way, act a certain way, do bad things, but you influence and changed their life so much, that they stopped smoking, stopped drinking excessively, and went from being a total jerk to being this guy who does everything for me. Who trusts me with everything, as I do him, and who looks up to me, is proud of me, someone that learns from me as I do from him. Who will sing to me, and who listens to all kinds of music and not just one like rap or metal.Who keeps me sane under pressure and reassures me that everything is going to be okay when things get rough for me. Plus the fact neither of us get emo, or yell at one another, or really fight. Theres just so many things with the two of us that just "click" and even when we hug or cuddle, our curves fit one another perfectly, like a puzzle piece. I call him my puzzle piece lol. Essentially, my other half. <3 Things have been great and I look foward to see how the tao flows on this one =)
Well... enough chit chat.. Back to chemistry lab work lol.