Angst Ahoy!
So sad :(
I miss my boyfriend. So so much. This is so much harder than I thought. I think I'm handling myself well though. Most of the time. It just kind of sucks that he's up in Starkville having a wonderful time and here I am bored as hell all the time. I'm most certainly not blaming him for that but it just sucks. I just wish we'd talk more. Now it's up to two ten minute conversations a day if I'm lucky. Again, I'm not expecting a constant stream of texts of 5 hour conversations but would it be so much to ask for someone to take an hour out of their day to call their girlfriend/boyfriend? Not to mention the fact that soon he'll be starting his co-op and getting a job heaven knows where and I'll still be stuck here and that will be the worst. That thought scares me more than anything. Guy from Nowhere, Mississippi goes to some big city to get a job and forgets all about little girl waiting back home. If he only knew the thoughts running through my head right now. We're both so young but luckily we aren't dumb. Why does it feel like this? I feel like i'm facing adult size marital problems. Definitely not. Gosh, what am I thinking? This is what. "Kristin, you're nineteen years old! Stop it! This guy can't build his future around you, that's stupid, who knows whether you're even going to be together tomorrow! It's your fault you hurt so much and feel like this. You were stupid and went and fell in love with a guy you knew was leaving and has an intense future. There's no time for you in it! Get real! It's been five months and you're acting you've been together for five years. Knock it off, you're probably annoying the hell out of him!" Pretty negative right? There are good thoughts in there too, great, fantastic ones even but you always see the bads first. I don't want to lose him, I almost have before and then I didn't know what to do with myself. I hope he understands and everything will work out in our favor.
I miss my boyfriend. So so much. This is so much harder than I thought. I think I'm handling myself well though. Most of the time. It just kind of sucks that he's up in Starkville having a wonderful time and here I am bored as hell all the time. I'm most certainly not blaming him for that but it just sucks. I just wish we'd talk more. Now it's up to two ten minute conversations a day if I'm lucky. Again, I'm not expecting a constant stream of texts of 5 hour conversations but would it be so much to ask for someone to take an hour out of their day to call their girlfriend/boyfriend? Not to mention the fact that soon he'll be starting his co-op and getting a job heaven knows where and I'll still be stuck here and that will be the worst. That thought scares me more than anything. Guy from Nowhere, Mississippi goes to some big city to get a job and forgets all about little girl waiting back home. If he only knew the thoughts running through my head right now. We're both so young but luckily we aren't dumb. Why does it feel like this? I feel like i'm facing adult size marital problems. Definitely not. Gosh, what am I thinking? This is what. "Kristin, you're nineteen years old! Stop it! This guy can't build his future around you, that's stupid, who knows whether you're even going to be together tomorrow! It's your fault you hurt so much and feel like this. You were stupid and went and fell in love with a guy you knew was leaving and has an intense future. There's no time for you in it! Get real! It's been five months and you're acting you've been together for five years. Knock it off, you're probably annoying the hell out of him!" Pretty negative right? There are good thoughts in there too, great, fantastic ones even but you always see the bads first. I don't want to lose him, I almost have before and then I didn't know what to do with myself. I hope he understands and everything will work out in our favor.