bOy PrObLeMs...
Yea, so andrew and i are in the middle of a lil charade again. It's up to me decide whether or not to keep this relatiosnhip together. Things is- i wanna tell him how i worry about him n katie... but, it's kinda dumb- so why say anything? I guess, yea, maybe it would help matters out. But, idk... i just don't him to think i'm totally obsessing over the situation. He called this morning (after we had a long discussion last night) and we tried to talk through it. Weird part- i had this really bad dream. He and i had broken up and i was talking to Vicky (this girl in my band) and i bursted out crying saying that andrew and i had broken up. I was like looking for him or something when all of a sudden i saw him in mrs. Tierson's office- i was crying n everything n then i said, "I can't do this". He replied with, "I can- i allready have a new girlfriend". So, i started crying somemore. It's like my worst nightmare was comnig true. It's weird to have that dream especially at a time like this. Maybe it's a sign that if we break up- that's what i'm gunna be going through. idk. Whatever that means- i really don't wanna go through that. Thing is, Andrew wanted me to tell him what i wanted just so he knows. I don't want to say it's over n then have him say, "ok" i want him to actually fight to keep the relationship as what it is. But, then again- i shouldn't just play games the way that i am and everything. It's a relationship. I should be happy with what i've got. It's a big deal... I don't want to have to say goodbye to andrew. Jeez- okay, just writing all of this pretty much woke me up. I better get going. If he calls soon [which he's going to call back later on in the day]... then i'm gunna tell him this is what i want... for him n i to stay together.
I'll update later on with what happens....
<3 Kelly