Archive Post! FMA Fic - Understanding: Part Three
This is an archive post. This story was originally posted on Aff.net on June 17, 2005.
Title: Understanding
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Summary: Ed/Winry 'He was holding something back, afraid to show her what he needed.' WARNING: Rape/Rape Issues M/F COMPLETE
Author’s Notes: In all my stories, both partners are at least 18 years old. It’s the only way I don’t feel dirty writing this. Needless to say, most of my fics take place after episode 51 and therefore are AU.
FMA does not belong to me and I make no profit from any of these tales. Any further archiving of my fiction is strictly prohibited unless cleared by me.
PART THREE
Control
Rain pelted down hard against her bedroom window and she let the sound ease her anxiety. It had been almost a month since Ed had visited her bed at night. A month since she held him in her arms and he wept hours into the night. A month since he began disappearing for days at a time.
He never told them where he went, just like he never told Al and Pinako about what had happened to him, but he always came back after three days. This time, he had been gone for five, and Winry had started to worry. Yesterday Al and Pinako even took trains in opposite directions, hoping to find him. Winry chose to stay at home in case he came back.
Restlessly, she kicked the covers off and went downstairs. In the kitchen she helped herself to a glass of water. Peering outside, she saw a figure hunched over on the bench on the porch. In the darkness, she could just make out a white shirt and blond ponytail. ‘Ed.’
Opening the front door, the cool air brushed the edges of her nightgown and Ed turned his head at the sound of the door opening. She was shocked at the sight of him. He was soaking wet and the front of his t-shirt and pants was covered in blood. Some even managed to streak in his hair and cheeks.
“Ed!” She ran to his side and knelt down next to him, the overhang of the house providing them some shelter. “Are you hurt?”
“It’s not my blood.” He stated. His voice was low and lacked emotion.
Winry pulled back, a small feeling of dread in her stomach, “whose is it?”
“…” He hung his head down.
“Ed?”
Slowly, his head rose, and gold eyes stared out into the world through the waterfall “…I found him.”
Winry stood, knowing exactly who ‘he’ was. “Did you…kill him?”
“No, I stopped before I…” He swallowed a lump in his throat, “I don’t know why I didn’t. I wanted to I just…”
“…Couldn’t.” He looked up when she finished his sentence. “Oh Ed, I’m glad you didn’t.”
“You are?” He was surprised.
She nodded, “Of course. You’re better than that.”
“But…he deserved to die!” Ed argued, although Winry felt that he was arguing more with himself than her. “Who knows how many other people he’s hurt.”
“It’s not for you to decide. You showed him who had the power, the control, when you stopped yourself from killing him. You won.”
“Yeah…I won.” He said despairingly. His head hung down as he stared at his blood soaked hands. Even though Ed had reclaimed his power, the attack would always haunt him. “You know, I kind of pitied him.” He laughed, and the sound was hollow and humorless. “How messed up is that?” He rubbed his hands together, trying to get the blood off.
“Its not messed up.” She assured him. Honestly, she didn’t know if it was or not, she just wanted Ed to know that it was okay for him to feel the way he did.
Ed stood and walked to the edge of the shelter, letting the cascading water wash away the red. “When I stopped and I really looked at him, he was so pathetic looking, and I wondered how I could let such a weak man do that to me.”
“You didn’t ‘let’ him do anything.” She stressed.
“I know, but sometimes, I felt like I could have done something to stop him.”
Winry didn’t say anything. He was speaking in the past tense, so there was nothing she could say that he hadn’t figured out. Silently, she just stared at a spot on the porch where blood had pooled. Rivets of water flowed around the area, streaking the red along the wooden planks.
His boots clomped along the wood and she looked up to see him standing next to her. “Winry,” his voice was quiet and he tilted her chin up with a finger, urging her to look him in the eyes. “I’m sorry about everything I put you through. That couldn’t have been easy for you.”
Winry’s heart expanded at what she saw in his eyes. Normally blank and fierce, they had changed. Now the only sadness seemed to lurk at the corners. His eyes were fierce in a new way, and the adoration there made them nearly sparkle. She smiled. “Don’t be a dummy.”
Ed smiled back. It was an express long since forgotten, and his lips nearly cracked as they remembered the old gesture. Hesitantly, a hand came up and tucked her loose hair behind her ear. The hand remained, stoking the silk strands with his fingers. Winry leaned in. The kiss was gentle, almost chaste. When his lips pulled away, they remained a hair’s breath away, waiting.
She kissed him again, increasing the pressure and enjoying their newfound delicacy with one another. Ed’s tongue traced her lips, seeking entry and she allowed it. They softly explored each other’s mouths and Ed was the first to moan.
His other hand found her waist and she took a step back at the intensity of his kisses. Her body was the first to break the water barricade, her clothes and hair immediately drenched. The rain was warm and the air was still and smelled like spring; new and fresh. The blood washed from Ed’s clothes and hair and they continued out until her back hit the small table on the porch, their mouths never leaving one another.
His hands moved down her body and cupped under her ass, lifting her on the table and spreading her legs. He fit in between them easily and began trailing kisses down her neck.
Winry’s eyes opened and she took in the sight of their reflection in the windows. They looked like they belonged on the cover of a romance novel. Blond hair was matted down and their white garments were completely soaked and translucent. She could see the rolling of his muscles under his t-shirt as his hands explored her body.
One hand went to his zipper and she could hear the sound of it being lowered and clothing being push aside. He entered her and she gasped as always. Her recollections of their times together was never as accurate as the real thing. He always felt better in real life than in her memories.
Lowering her back to the table, he moved slowly inside her. The rain kissed her face as it fell and she kept her eyes squinted to block out the water. Their moans were lost in the harsh patter of rain on the roof, but to them they were loud as thunder.
Then Ed did something he’d never done before.
As she arched with one long stroke, his hands found their way under he back and pulled her up. He held her to him as he quickly backed up and sat in one of the chairs. He was giving her control. He had just won it back and he was already allowing it to be taken.
All motion stopped as she stared down into his eyes. There was trust there and she was determined to accept it. She moved her hips and his head lolled back, eyes shutting to keep the rain out.
She rolled her hips, back and forth, back and forth. The rhythm as steady as the rain. Hands rested on her hips and guided her along. Fingers curved around to her ass, squeezing every time she rocked toward him.
Rain drops polled on his face and she leaned forward to lick them off, the change of angles sending bolts of pleasure through her. Her breathing increased and despite the rain, she felt hot and sweaty.
His skin was feverish also and he hung his mouth open, not caring for the drops that fell on his lips. She did and licked them away.
Ed moaned and caught her up in a kiss, their tongues lightly massaging each other. His hips began to leave the chair and his fingers dug deeper into her flesh. “Winry…”
The sound of her name sent her crashing over. She arched her back, holding on to his shoulders and felt like she was floating in the ocean in the middle of a hurricane.
He held her tight to him, keeping her from falling. She felt him come inside, the warmth spreading steadily within her. He grunted, and she gasped, bringing herself back in reach of his arms. He held her tight and they both caught their breath.
“We should go inside.” She suggested. Granny’s voice in her head was telling her that they would catch a cold.
Ed nodded and Winry pulled herself off his lap. They fixed their clothes silently. For some reason, the situation just seemed awkward. Even when he held her down and took what he needed there was no awkward silence. Just grief. But now…
“Well…” Winry felt the need to break the silence. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah…” He nodded. She turned to leave but his hand shot out to grab hers, “Wait.” A pause. “Would you stay with me...?”
He’d never asked her to stay with him before either. She nodded and the nervous look on his face vanished as they walked into the warm house.
…Something real had happened. Their world had been dusted off and righted back in place. Maybe a little worse for wear, but certainly no longer broken.
-Fin
Notes on UNDERSTANDING
Well, I don't really know where this story came from. I woke up this morning and it was just there so I wrote it down before I could forget it.
Let me begin by saying that I never intended to do a rape fic. To be honest, I'm not even sure if this came be classified as such. The main premise was that Ed was raped and Winry is there to pick up the pieces. I read alot of magazines and articles and I remembered in one of them, a long time ago, a woman wrote in saying that she had been raped and liked to have her boyfriend re-create the event. That kind of stuck with me, and before I went to bed last night, I was playing with the idea of a PWP involving Ed, Winry, and a roleplaying game and this is what I woke up with.
On the subject of rape, well, it seems to be a popular thing to do to Ed no matter where you go doesn't it? Personally, I don't know what it is like to be raped, thankfully. I do, however, have some knowledge on the psychology behind the act. Enought to know that it is not strictly about sex. I tried to express that with this fic and I do hope that if nothing else, you'll at least think that it is different.
-B
Title: Understanding
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Summary: Ed/Winry 'He was holding something back, afraid to show her what he needed.' WARNING: Rape/Rape Issues M/F COMPLETE
Author’s Notes: In all my stories, both partners are at least 18 years old. It’s the only way I don’t feel dirty writing this. Needless to say, most of my fics take place after episode 51 and therefore are AU.
FMA does not belong to me and I make no profit from any of these tales. Any further archiving of my fiction is strictly prohibited unless cleared by me.
PART THREE
Control
Rain pelted down hard against her bedroom window and she let the sound ease her anxiety. It had been almost a month since Ed had visited her bed at night. A month since she held him in her arms and he wept hours into the night. A month since he began disappearing for days at a time.
He never told them where he went, just like he never told Al and Pinako about what had happened to him, but he always came back after three days. This time, he had been gone for five, and Winry had started to worry. Yesterday Al and Pinako even took trains in opposite directions, hoping to find him. Winry chose to stay at home in case he came back.
Restlessly, she kicked the covers off and went downstairs. In the kitchen she helped herself to a glass of water. Peering outside, she saw a figure hunched over on the bench on the porch. In the darkness, she could just make out a white shirt and blond ponytail. ‘Ed.’
Opening the front door, the cool air brushed the edges of her nightgown and Ed turned his head at the sound of the door opening. She was shocked at the sight of him. He was soaking wet and the front of his t-shirt and pants was covered in blood. Some even managed to streak in his hair and cheeks.
“Ed!” She ran to his side and knelt down next to him, the overhang of the house providing them some shelter. “Are you hurt?”
“It’s not my blood.” He stated. His voice was low and lacked emotion.
Winry pulled back, a small feeling of dread in her stomach, “whose is it?”
“…” He hung his head down.
“Ed?”
Slowly, his head rose, and gold eyes stared out into the world through the waterfall “…I found him.”
Winry stood, knowing exactly who ‘he’ was. “Did you…kill him?”
“No, I stopped before I…” He swallowed a lump in his throat, “I don’t know why I didn’t. I wanted to I just…”
“…Couldn’t.” He looked up when she finished his sentence. “Oh Ed, I’m glad you didn’t.”
“You are?” He was surprised.
She nodded, “Of course. You’re better than that.”
“But…he deserved to die!” Ed argued, although Winry felt that he was arguing more with himself than her. “Who knows how many other people he’s hurt.”
“It’s not for you to decide. You showed him who had the power, the control, when you stopped yourself from killing him. You won.”
“Yeah…I won.” He said despairingly. His head hung down as he stared at his blood soaked hands. Even though Ed had reclaimed his power, the attack would always haunt him. “You know, I kind of pitied him.” He laughed, and the sound was hollow and humorless. “How messed up is that?” He rubbed his hands together, trying to get the blood off.
“Its not messed up.” She assured him. Honestly, she didn’t know if it was or not, she just wanted Ed to know that it was okay for him to feel the way he did.
Ed stood and walked to the edge of the shelter, letting the cascading water wash away the red. “When I stopped and I really looked at him, he was so pathetic looking, and I wondered how I could let such a weak man do that to me.”
“You didn’t ‘let’ him do anything.” She stressed.
“I know, but sometimes, I felt like I could have done something to stop him.”
Winry didn’t say anything. He was speaking in the past tense, so there was nothing she could say that he hadn’t figured out. Silently, she just stared at a spot on the porch where blood had pooled. Rivets of water flowed around the area, streaking the red along the wooden planks.
His boots clomped along the wood and she looked up to see him standing next to her. “Winry,” his voice was quiet and he tilted her chin up with a finger, urging her to look him in the eyes. “I’m sorry about everything I put you through. That couldn’t have been easy for you.”
Winry’s heart expanded at what she saw in his eyes. Normally blank and fierce, they had changed. Now the only sadness seemed to lurk at the corners. His eyes were fierce in a new way, and the adoration there made them nearly sparkle. She smiled. “Don’t be a dummy.”
Ed smiled back. It was an express long since forgotten, and his lips nearly cracked as they remembered the old gesture. Hesitantly, a hand came up and tucked her loose hair behind her ear. The hand remained, stoking the silk strands with his fingers. Winry leaned in. The kiss was gentle, almost chaste. When his lips pulled away, they remained a hair’s breath away, waiting.
She kissed him again, increasing the pressure and enjoying their newfound delicacy with one another. Ed’s tongue traced her lips, seeking entry and she allowed it. They softly explored each other’s mouths and Ed was the first to moan.
His other hand found her waist and she took a step back at the intensity of his kisses. Her body was the first to break the water barricade, her clothes and hair immediately drenched. The rain was warm and the air was still and smelled like spring; new and fresh. The blood washed from Ed’s clothes and hair and they continued out until her back hit the small table on the porch, their mouths never leaving one another.
His hands moved down her body and cupped under her ass, lifting her on the table and spreading her legs. He fit in between them easily and began trailing kisses down her neck.
Winry’s eyes opened and she took in the sight of their reflection in the windows. They looked like they belonged on the cover of a romance novel. Blond hair was matted down and their white garments were completely soaked and translucent. She could see the rolling of his muscles under his t-shirt as his hands explored her body.
One hand went to his zipper and she could hear the sound of it being lowered and clothing being push aside. He entered her and she gasped as always. Her recollections of their times together was never as accurate as the real thing. He always felt better in real life than in her memories.
Lowering her back to the table, he moved slowly inside her. The rain kissed her face as it fell and she kept her eyes squinted to block out the water. Their moans were lost in the harsh patter of rain on the roof, but to them they were loud as thunder.
Then Ed did something he’d never done before.
As she arched with one long stroke, his hands found their way under he back and pulled her up. He held her to him as he quickly backed up and sat in one of the chairs. He was giving her control. He had just won it back and he was already allowing it to be taken.
All motion stopped as she stared down into his eyes. There was trust there and she was determined to accept it. She moved her hips and his head lolled back, eyes shutting to keep the rain out.
She rolled her hips, back and forth, back and forth. The rhythm as steady as the rain. Hands rested on her hips and guided her along. Fingers curved around to her ass, squeezing every time she rocked toward him.
Rain drops polled on his face and she leaned forward to lick them off, the change of angles sending bolts of pleasure through her. Her breathing increased and despite the rain, she felt hot and sweaty.
His skin was feverish also and he hung his mouth open, not caring for the drops that fell on his lips. She did and licked them away.
Ed moaned and caught her up in a kiss, their tongues lightly massaging each other. His hips began to leave the chair and his fingers dug deeper into her flesh. “Winry…”
The sound of her name sent her crashing over. She arched her back, holding on to his shoulders and felt like she was floating in the ocean in the middle of a hurricane.
He held her tight to him, keeping her from falling. She felt him come inside, the warmth spreading steadily within her. He grunted, and she gasped, bringing herself back in reach of his arms. He held her tight and they both caught their breath.
“We should go inside.” She suggested. Granny’s voice in her head was telling her that they would catch a cold.
Ed nodded and Winry pulled herself off his lap. They fixed their clothes silently. For some reason, the situation just seemed awkward. Even when he held her down and took what he needed there was no awkward silence. Just grief. But now…
“Well…” Winry felt the need to break the silence. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah…” He nodded. She turned to leave but his hand shot out to grab hers, “Wait.” A pause. “Would you stay with me...?”
He’d never asked her to stay with him before either. She nodded and the nervous look on his face vanished as they walked into the warm house.
…Something real had happened. Their world had been dusted off and righted back in place. Maybe a little worse for wear, but certainly no longer broken.
-Fin
Notes on UNDERSTANDING
Well, I don't really know where this story came from. I woke up this morning and it was just there so I wrote it down before I could forget it.
Let me begin by saying that I never intended to do a rape fic. To be honest, I'm not even sure if this came be classified as such. The main premise was that Ed was raped and Winry is there to pick up the pieces. I read alot of magazines and articles and I remembered in one of them, a long time ago, a woman wrote in saying that she had been raped and liked to have her boyfriend re-create the event. That kind of stuck with me, and before I went to bed last night, I was playing with the idea of a PWP involving Ed, Winry, and a roleplaying game and this is what I woke up with.
On the subject of rape, well, it seems to be a popular thing to do to Ed no matter where you go doesn't it? Personally, I don't know what it is like to be raped, thankfully. I do, however, have some knowledge on the psychology behind the act. Enought to know that it is not strictly about sex. I tried to express that with this fic and I do hope that if nothing else, you'll at least think that it is different.
-B