She Makes Me Think of Lighting and Skies
i havent done a public update in almost a month...so what's there to say..hmm work takes up alot of time, but im starting to make less and less...BLAH WTF. makes me mad. umm i think i should have a car by sunday. found a great deal on a chrysler sebring convertible...very pretty. that is the only thing im looking forward to this week. but i cant wait for my george to get home from college! it's funny how much i love him now and like 2 years ago i was like oh no i dont wanna hang out with him, but now that we're jus purely friends i love that kid sooo fricken much and im so excited to hang out with him when he comes into town.=-D only like two more weeks!! heh. okay sorry enough about that. uhhh guys other than that arent too impressive. i think Brandon wants to ask me to prom and...ehh idk it's just hes really good looking but i just cant draw myself to like him. i want to, but i really cant. i feel so jaded and bitchy towards most guys like, i dont even want them to touch me at all. they're just scummy and i dont know how im going to be able to trust any after what ive been through. i mean i realllly thought i could trust someone and i meant something and i just feel dirty afterwards and..used. i hate that feeling its like the worst in the world. and it's not like i really even did anything with them it's just the feeling of being used period for anything makes me feel gross and in all aspects of the meaning. i just wish people would be straight forward and not lie......EHHHHH whatever everyone is hooking up and or has a girlfirend or boyfriend and im just like here's me what the hell..whatever im gay... im still trying to lose weight for the summer.yea, im only 5'5'' thats horrible it totally screws up my BMI cuz i always thought i was 5'7'' but all 3 times i've been measured lately they've said 5'5'' and that jus totally fricken sucks. if i were to enter my weight age and my NEW height in the BMI it would probably say im overweight. but im too depressed to even face that. wow my complaining is definetly annoying. well wish me luck when i go and look at my hopefully FUTURE automobile on Sunday morning. and wish that all my jealousy and anger and sadness would go away for me.because it makes me stupid annoying complainer..you guys know i hate complainers............. =/ bye.