i am aware my heart is a sad affair
listening to 50s music... so sad and lonely! it kind of makes me want to cry... knowing ill never be anything to anyone, that this is it. this is my life and this is how its going to stay.
sentimental me.
guess ill always be in love with you
dreaming while i live,
living just to give
all my love to you
no one else will do
kill me. bc i cant stop thinking about him. im creeping out freaking out. not getting any sleep at all... not that i can in the first place. and sitting at the donut stand it hits me i am scarying him off. im so stupid. im prob the worst girl to be around when around him. im like every other girl, all stupid! someone must slip me those stupid pills or something. ha! kill me.
i can see no matter how near youll be
youll never belong to me
but i can dream, cant i?
cant i pretend im locked in the bend of your embrace
dreams are just like wine and i am drunk with mine!!
my moms fucking insane. ive snuck out my house twice now. just to go get donuts with BZ thats it. im going al rebellious lol... im 18 whats she going to do right? kick me out? yea right! even is so... I DONT HAVE TO DEAL WITH HER! not pay for me to go to college? good. i dont want to go! punish me? i dont tihnk so... i know how easy it is to just leave now lol! haha so im in a good position with her at the moment! she cant do anything to hurt me. i mean i have my own job and can pay for whatever i need now, but only at the moment. when i go to college i mean... i have no idea what im going to do if i can find a job or anything! ha. i jsut want to be a bum no gooder nothingness! life would be beautiful like that!
these past 2 days ive been so down. and i dont know why!
i dont want a ricochet romance. ha.
i wish i was born back then and not now. i hate these days. i hate alot of things now. ugh!
no one reads these. i guess thats why i keep writing. ha.