i confess, i messed up... dropin a sorry like your still around...
so after i wrote the last entry ;; (friends only) i was hysterical. i needed to have someone keep me sane and reasure that everything would be alright. so after i thought about it for a little while, i knew that i could call the only person thats never left my side ;; jimmy. so i call him and im hysterical, he has no idea whats wrong because i cant talk.. so he trys his best to calm me down, tells me we cant talk if im crying and that i need to breathe and relax. so after like 5 minutes of still being hysterical i calmed down enough that i could talk and tell him whats wrong and why im absolutly losing it. so he explained to me that people take things personal even if they werent meant to be taken that way, and i cant do anything about that. and that she'll eventually come around when she realizes that she lost an amazing friend. so i understood and felt a little better, but i was still hurting and breaking down inside. then he started talking about how he was writing and that life really is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your going to get... and hes like that 70% of it is good but theres always the other % that is bad. and its only bad because other people got to the chocolates first and took the good ones... by this point i was laughing and smiling so he knew his job was pretty much done. we got off, he said hed call back in a little which he did, and then i talked to him online later on in the morning...
so im starting to fall for someone ;; and im scared because i dont want things to get ruined like everything always does... && im also scared because i cant afford to be hurt ... yanno?? its hard to explain, but yeah i dont know what to do... whatever not really that important right now. i just needed to get all of that out ;; show that i have an amazing friend that would do anything to make sure that i am alright, and that i am laughing instead of crying. even if he has to talk about a box of chocolates and a bag of jellybeans... hahaha && the fact that i could fuck up in life so bad and call him to get help is awesome, and whats even better is he still tells me he loves me no matter what, thats amazing. i love you so much jimmy;; thank you for everything... you are the fucking best everrrrr!! serj also helped me get my head straight last night.. so thank you so much for that if u read this... it meant a lot to me!
okiie, im done. thanks for reading.
so im starting to fall for someone ;; and im scared because i dont want things to get ruined like everything always does... && im also scared because i cant afford to be hurt ... yanno?? its hard to explain, but yeah i dont know what to do... whatever not really that important right now. i just needed to get all of that out ;; show that i have an amazing friend that would do anything to make sure that i am alright, and that i am laughing instead of crying. even if he has to talk about a box of chocolates and a bag of jellybeans... hahaha && the fact that i could fuck up in life so bad and call him to get help is awesome, and whats even better is he still tells me he loves me no matter what, thats amazing. i love you so much jimmy;; thank you for everything... you are the fucking best everrrrr!! serj also helped me get my head straight last night.. so thank you so much for that if u read this... it meant a lot to me!
okiie, im done. thanks for reading.