ranting
My birthday is in one week. Normally this would excite me, or at least make me have a big smile on my face. And it does make me smile still, knowing that I most likely will be hanging out in Chicago with my girlfriend and then spending the rest of the day with my family and having a nice relaxing time at home without thinking about law school. Last year I was almost spasmatic about my birthday, as is to be expected when one is turning 21. This year, it's 22 - not as exciting, there most likely won't be drinking involved, and it seems anything after 21 just is another step towards 30 and gradually beginning that descent into adulthood. Mostly though, I dread the days around my birthday and the work that lies in wait for me when I am at home. It's like there is a cloud following me that won't leave until finals are over. Law school tends to suck the fun out of things. But it'll be good to be home, and my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. But somehow I have a feeling I'm going to be spending a lot of time in the Schaumburg Library. Maybe I'll get to visit Evanston, that might make it worth it.
If people were to ask me right now why I went to law school, I don't know if I would have an excellent reason. One of my reasons primarily right now is to make money to pay back my loans, but obviously that is not satisfactory. (And it especially doesn't make sense if you think about the fact that I have to take out more loans just to go to law school). I wanted to help people and feel some sense of justice, to do something worthwhile. The reason I want to be some kind of prosecutor is so I can get some kind of satisfaction out of my work, a sense that the bad people are behind bars and good people keep their freedoms. Good and bad however are value judgments that in the law come with some very heavyhanded policy concerns. What do you say about a system where 1 in 3 black men will go to jail? Or I could go the corporate law route, helping bigger fish eat other big fish. Honestly I want to work for a big/medium sized firm for a few years, but I don't know what area and I don't know what kind of direction I want to go after that. I guess the biggest reason I've found for myself so far in regards to going to law school is to challenge myself. I got bored in grade school, Jr. High was interesting but too much busy work, High school I almost felt like they didn't know what to do with the top 50 kids in the class, and in College I felt challenged but in a way that almost allowed too much freedom. In college they almost were saying the world is yours and I challenge you to make something of it for yourself. Here they are saying, here are the same topics and cases that people have been studying for over 150 years in the same manner for 150 years. Hundreds of thousands of people before you have gone through this process and gone on to do great things - if you can survive this than great things may lie before you too. I guess I'm also doing it because I feel like if I got a job I would feel like my education might suffer. I mean I've been in school for 17 years or so, so why stop now? I say with pride that I graduated from Northwestern, but I say with more pride that I'm in law school. That's something.
If people were to ask me right now why I went to law school, I don't know if I would have an excellent reason. One of my reasons primarily right now is to make money to pay back my loans, but obviously that is not satisfactory. (And it especially doesn't make sense if you think about the fact that I have to take out more loans just to go to law school). I wanted to help people and feel some sense of justice, to do something worthwhile. The reason I want to be some kind of prosecutor is so I can get some kind of satisfaction out of my work, a sense that the bad people are behind bars and good people keep their freedoms. Good and bad however are value judgments that in the law come with some very heavyhanded policy concerns. What do you say about a system where 1 in 3 black men will go to jail? Or I could go the corporate law route, helping bigger fish eat other big fish. Honestly I want to work for a big/medium sized firm for a few years, but I don't know what area and I don't know what kind of direction I want to go after that. I guess the biggest reason I've found for myself so far in regards to going to law school is to challenge myself. I got bored in grade school, Jr. High was interesting but too much busy work, High school I almost felt like they didn't know what to do with the top 50 kids in the class, and in College I felt challenged but in a way that almost allowed too much freedom. In college they almost were saying the world is yours and I challenge you to make something of it for yourself. Here they are saying, here are the same topics and cases that people have been studying for over 150 years in the same manner for 150 years. Hundreds of thousands of people before you have gone through this process and gone on to do great things - if you can survive this than great things may lie before you too. I guess I'm also doing it because I feel like if I got a job I would feel like my education might suffer. I mean I've been in school for 17 years or so, so why stop now? I say with pride that I graduated from Northwestern, but I say with more pride that I'm in law school. That's something.