Dark Gen Fic:A Trifecta of Mourning: Just A Dream. HET. Kinda a cross over.
A Trifecta of Mourning: Just A Dream
Author: Lil_Jei
Fandom: BTVS, NCIS, SG-1
Characters: Xander/Anya. Tony/Abby. Jack/Sam (If they ever married and if Xan hadn’t got cold feet etc)
Rating: PG 13
Word Ct: 1000+
Author Notes/Summary: The show and characters are not mine but in my mind, Xander needs a new life. I wanted to write a fic based on Carrie Underwood’s “Just a Dream” and this triple threat of what ifs and mourning was what came about. Its un beta’d and rough but I figured what the heck. I know it stops weirdly but my muse died on me…Other than that it’s another Het piece and the pairings and paragraphs are in the order listed above.
A shot rang out.
It rang loud and clear against the haze of noise and commotion. With a scream and a quick hush amongst the crowd, no one wanted to look.
It was clear amongst the ruins of white and lace, blood was pooling about and within moments cooling. They would all remember the tears and wailing that came from such angelic features. It was on this day that white would turn to black and a heart would turn to ice.
It was a jealous ex husband.
It was a wanted criminal.
It was an assassin.
The best day of a bride’s life turned out to be the worst. Now she had to face only the beginning. As a widow, she would face every day as if it was the worst. She had her friends and family. Those that sought to comfort her also brought her down with the reminders as well. It was a soldier’s way of life, what they both knew. But that didn’t stop the pain. And she knew that with every offering of condolences, the 21 guns, and even the blessing her heart would break more.
Cold feet and stress had haunted their few remaining days. At the time, she thought once they were wed, they’d be free. Together. But no, he left her here; amongst the ruins of a happy life, she now knew what it meant to be human. As her heart beat in perfect timing with her tears, she knew she’d leave. She’d find freedom somewhere else, away from the fight and the demons of the night. It had cost her everything, first the need for redemption and revenge and then as she fell for him, she gave it all up for love. And now all she had was her memories and salty teardrops that never seemed to end.
They’d given in to late it seemed. She’d fought her attractions and his Italian stallion ways from the very start. She’d thrown away all his advances and now all she had was her regrets and a scant few moments years too late. It was ironic that the one time she wanted to be innocent and pure she’d been bathed in all that remained of her love. Really, she had to laugh; she now would have an excuse to wear black. It wasn’t just a fashion statement now. It would remain till her ending days a way of life. As she woke with each day, she lived without him she’d look in her closet and worship the better days.
Murdered and taken away too soon she couldn’t help but sob as she looked in the mirror. She thought about all those lost moments. They’d given up too much for their careers and now it cost him his life and her, it cost her everything. She fussed with her veil and the gloves as she tried to breathe through the agonizing memories. What was once innocent and pure, the other beautiful silks would now gather dust tucked away in her closet for her to see everyday as a constant reminder of all that was lost. Along with her uniform, that she’d never wear again. It would all remain as a painful reminder of what she’d lost.
Her humanity was her downfall now. It hurt to even breathe.
She lost her only chance to feel pure. She’d never hear him laugh again.
They’d given up everything for each other. And it was still not enough.
The gathering surprised her. As she glanced around at the thinning crowd, her façade cracked. She had thought after all these years she knew what it really meant to love and sacrifice, she thought she had known what it meant to be human. But as their family lingered, waiting out the other mourners she felt her heart hurt a bit more. He never knew, he would’ve been shocked at the attendance. While his blood relatives weren’t there, their chosen family was. From his childhood, friends to his on again off again enemies, and half of the town and his graduating class had come to pay his respects. But it was the original 3 that she knew had to be hurting just as much as she was. It hurt too much and if this was, what being human was about she didn’t know if she could handle it without him.
It wasn’t at all a surprise. The service was the typical one. It was identical to the one she had attended barely a decade before. They’d drowned their sorrows together back then, drinking and remembering but now she had no one. There was no one to hold her as she cried and screamed at the injustice of it all. She had their family but the end of the day that didn’t mean as much as it used to for her. Revenge was such a cold dish and the single act of violence, which took his life, would be the foundation of her nightmares for the years to come. An old enemy from the past had robbed them of their future. As she hears the guns she begins to shake, holding onto her dad’s hand she starts to sob as the flag is dropped into her hands with barely an afterthought.
His retirement hadn’t stopped the danger. They had known the meaning of careful from before they gave into the loving whims. Mutual retirements had meant they could plan their lives together, for once. But it wasn’t meant to be. Danger might have been his middle name all those years ago when they first met but that hadn’t stopped the bullet. Such a beautiful morning had turned into a nightmare, barely seconds after embracing she’d felt it before she heard it. And now as she tries to muffle her tears she barely hears the salute ring out. She barely feels it as the box smacks into her palm, she barely feels anything as she’s led away from the sea of blue and black, of tears and condolences, of the day in which her heart finally breaks.
His death had been senseless. He didn’t go out in battle. He didn’t die defending anyone. He died in her arms and as his life bled out around her, she stopped.