BE MY SAVIOUR?...................................................and i'll be your downfall..
you know what?
i just CANT deal with this crap any more.
i'm so sick and TIRED of putting up with it-i just cant no longer.
i want to be in love without feeling like something bad is going to be around the corner.
without feeling like i'm just going to end up hurt again.
without sitting and waiting for my heart to be broken.
without laying EVERYTHING i am and EVERYTHING about me on the line...just to end up hurt!
fuck guys-i hate them.
they're only good for one thin...SEX.
nothing else-not even my male friends are how they used to be, Ryan (from Game Heaven) has changed-hes now a fucking arogant ass hole.
not to mention a friendship i dont even want to give breath to.
then theres the fact that i ALWAYS feel i need to look around the corners of my life with EVERY good thing that has happened to me so far. because i KEEP getting the feeling that shes going to get me back. maybe she already has?
FUCK-WHO AM I KIDDING? she ALREADY has.
but i'm scared shes going to take more.
i'm already on the point of breaking-i cut my wrist 6 times today. 12 times 3 nights back and have SERIOUSLY contemplated taking an overdose, getting drunk then go "swimming", hanging myself or finding someone with a gun and borrowing it.
and if she did do something more than take the one thing i thought was mine...
i probably WOULD die instead of thinking about it.
i dont know how i would cope.....i need a smoke
(thank god i have a pack, speaking of which i smoked 12 of them all by myself today because im so FUCKING stressed out and angry, gave 6 away)
i just CANT deal with this crap any more.
i'm so sick and TIRED of putting up with it-i just cant no longer.
i want to be in love without feeling like something bad is going to be around the corner.
without feeling like i'm just going to end up hurt again.
without sitting and waiting for my heart to be broken.
without laying EVERYTHING i am and EVERYTHING about me on the line...just to end up hurt!
fuck guys-i hate them.
they're only good for one thin...SEX.
nothing else-not even my male friends are how they used to be, Ryan (from Game Heaven) has changed-hes now a fucking arogant ass hole.
not to mention a friendship i dont even want to give breath to.
then theres the fact that i ALWAYS feel i need to look around the corners of my life with EVERY good thing that has happened to me so far. because i KEEP getting the feeling that shes going to get me back. maybe she already has?
FUCK-WHO AM I KIDDING? she ALREADY has.
but i'm scared shes going to take more.
i'm already on the point of breaking-i cut my wrist 6 times today. 12 times 3 nights back and have SERIOUSLY contemplated taking an overdose, getting drunk then go "swimming", hanging myself or finding someone with a gun and borrowing it.
and if she did do something more than take the one thing i thought was mine...
i probably WOULD die instead of thinking about it.
i dont know how i would cope.....i need a smoke
(thank god i have a pack, speaking of which i smoked 12 of them all by myself today because im so FUCKING stressed out and angry, gave 6 away)