(no subject)
I cannot believe that I only have nine days left in France before I leave it here and return to my life in the States. It has been very difficult having these two different lives; part of me has wanted to return to the States and continue with that life there, but the other part of me is in love with this life here. How do you know what to do when two different continents are pulling at you?
The answer: you will never know what to do.
So, I finished my internship last week, which was, in a way, sad because those people were so nice and seemed truly sad that I was leaving. The last day, we had a mini-party, meaning that they served me some white wine and gave me a gift. (Sidenote: the white wine was not a good idea as I was STARVING and after two glasses, I was a very happy girl.) I am almost done writing my damn paper (I only need to write the page-long conclusion and I then, proof-reading stage begins) but I am rather proud of myself because it is supposed to be between 10 and 15 pages and I'm on page 15 as it is now, so go me!
I finished my grammaire class this morning, meaning that I only have three more classes to finish (the last one being Friday) and then finals begin (that being Friday as well). All of my friends seem to be taking finals now or heading home already, and here I am, not even done with classes yet. Sigh. Sometimes, this whole "ha-ha I got start later than you" thing isn't as fun as we all originally thought.
However, it's rather saddening to know that soon, I will be leaving here and all of these people that I have become used to seeing each day and talking with, I will no longer see them. We all have little inside jokes with each and understand the struggles that we are all going through each day. It'll be sad to know that I will not see these people as often - and some never again - because of the fact that we are from all over the country.
Mais, at the same time, it will be nice to return to the States to see my family, my sisters, and my friends (including the spouse and the spaagirls) because, with them, I have even more inside jokes and some of those people know me better than anyone else in the world, which is always nice to have around. I am so excited about living with my bestest friendie again and just sitting and talking to her or watching movies and mocking them (wow, I have such an exciting life).
And while everyone wishes that they could be at two places at once, I've decided that I don't, because I have done it this semester, and it is something that is not fun; no matter where you are, you miss something from somewhere else. Having just one place to live is hard enough sometimes, having two at once can be impossible. And while I have not let this bother me too much throughout the semester - I have continued to enjoy my life here, get to know people, and just have an overall wonderful time - the next time that I live abroad, it will be easier because I will be done with schooling and ready to start the next chapter of my life.
And while all good things must come to an end, and I'm not sure that I am ready for this part of the chapter to end, I know that I will come back. This has been an experience that I am so happy that I have done; I have learned more about myself in these last four months than I have in my entire life. And while it is sad to close this part, I have so much waiting for me in the States that it is hard to say that I am not excited about returning back to school and the family. Besides, I stepped on the point and turned around on it in Paris; it is now obligatory that I return to Paris one day.
J'adore la France. J'adore toutes les choses que j'apprenais ici. Mais, au meme temps, ma famille me manque, mes amis me manquent, et ma maison me manque. Je reviendrai dans le futur; je le sais. Je ne sais pas quand, mais je suis tres confortable ici; j'adore la langue, les habitudes, la quotidienne. Il faut que je revienne dans le futur, mais maintenant, le temps ici est presque fini et je pense que je prete de revenir chez moi. Mais, la France, je vous aime; maintenant et toujours.