Forwardly Looking Back
So it's mid-December, and I've been contemplating what I accomplished in the past year. At first, it seemed like not alot; just superficial stuff like finally wearing makeup to work on a regular basis and wearing jewelry often. Why? To feel pretty of course. (Never really works though, does it? We always find fault with ourselves somehow.) I solemnly swear my biggest fault is feeling that I am completely unloveable. I guess that's why when I meet a guy I really really like, I always don't feel good enough for him for some reason.
But a convo with my sis tonight changed the way I looked at myself for the year. Apparently my mom things I've 'not been myself' for the past year. Have I changed that much? Why yes I have. I've started taking medication for my anxiety, so I no longer have panic attacks in a social setting. This means I actually go out! *gasp* Hell, I've actually sang karaoke!!!!! Also, I've been going to a chiropractor to help relieve my constant neck pain. What do you know? I've been having fewer migraines. (Of course, the fact that we've been pretty much sans rainy weather helps alot, too.)
All said and done, I consider this a fairly productive year. I've taken care of the some of the root problems, so I'm hoping to move forward. My goals for the upcoming year:
finally get that tattoo for my back I've had stuck in my mind for years and years
decide what I want to do with my life and go after it
take swimming lessons
let down my guard and let people in
I'm working on #1. I'm hoping to have it done very soon, if I can get the artist to see my vision. Wish me luck on the rest!