Trying to Keep Things in Perspective
Looking around at other people, it's hard not to compare what they have to what you have...or don't. Going to the engagement party and looking around at all the couples was hard. I feel like everyone is moving forward in some aspect of their life and I'm continually stuck. People are getting married or are in committed relationships. They're starting their careers or at least have full-time jobs to support themselves. People are buying houses and moving out and moving on. And I just keep wondering when it's supposed to happen for me. When will I get just one of those things? All my life, I've heard from my mom, "By the time I was 19, I had already moved to California by myself and was doing my own thing." By the time my dad was 24, he was already married and had me. And I know it was a different time, but I still can't help but feel like I'm failing.
So here I am having a pity party for myself when I get a random text from Parker. He had just got back from his birthday dinner and all it said was "I love my family :)" He was so grateful for just being with them and reading what they wrote in his birthday cards. And that just kinda snapped things into perspective. It's hard sometimes...ok a lot of the time...to keep the good things in the forefront and stay focused on what you do have. But all it takes is a little reminder to remember how good I do have it. I am so grateful for my family and how close we have become in the past couple years. I don't know what I would do without my mom, to lean on and talk to, financially, motivationally. I'm healthy. I have basically my own space to live in. I have jobs...no matter how miniscule...that provide me with the money to do a lot of things. Things could be a whole lot worse. Or even a little worse.
I have to remember that things will come when they're supposed to. God, it's a hard thing to remember. But I will find the right job eventually. And the right person. Paciencia y fe.
So here I am having a pity party for myself when I get a random text from Parker. He had just got back from his birthday dinner and all it said was "I love my family :)" He was so grateful for just being with them and reading what they wrote in his birthday cards. And that just kinda snapped things into perspective. It's hard sometimes...ok a lot of the time...to keep the good things in the forefront and stay focused on what you do have. But all it takes is a little reminder to remember how good I do have it. I am so grateful for my family and how close we have become in the past couple years. I don't know what I would do without my mom, to lean on and talk to, financially, motivationally. I'm healthy. I have basically my own space to live in. I have jobs...no matter how miniscule...that provide me with the money to do a lot of things. Things could be a whole lot worse. Or even a little worse.
I have to remember that things will come when they're supposed to. God, it's a hard thing to remember. But I will find the right job eventually. And the right person. Paciencia y fe.