Rejuvenation
I really wish I would write in here as much as I used to. It's so nice to be able to look back at old entries for memories or to see how I've grown...or how I'm making the same mistakes. lol
I feel like I've finally made up my mind and found some true motivation to move forward. I knew the first time I went to New York that it was the place I needed to be. It's just that feeling of being complete, of knowing when you are exactly where you should be. Unfortunately, with school to finish, that dream wasn't possible at the time. And by the time it was, I'd forgotten the thirst. Going back was so good for me and I'm so thankful I did it. I remember sitting at work, wanting to book a ticket but being unsure if it was the right decision, if I could afford it or afford to miss work. Then the man next to me told me something that really helped me and something I'll always try to keep at the forefront of my mind. He said, "What's that soap opera? What's it called?" "Which one?" "One Life to Live. Just do it. In the end, you only have one life to live." And I did it. And it was the best decision I could have made. I went back, I found that feeling again and now I don't have a doubt in my mind of what I have to do. Six months is the goal; March. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. If I fail and can't afford it, at least I did it. At least I tried. Now is the time for taking chances.
I feel like I'm in much better place in my life since that trip. I had so many realizations, about more than just where I should live. I was able to let go of horrible, toxic relationships I've been bound to for way too long. I'm slowly coming back to the person I was and making better choices to be the person I want to be. I may have even met someone new, but I'm not going to attach myself to the idea too soon, the way I have in the past few years. There's no need.
In this moment, I am happy.
I feel like I've finally made up my mind and found some true motivation to move forward. I knew the first time I went to New York that it was the place I needed to be. It's just that feeling of being complete, of knowing when you are exactly where you should be. Unfortunately, with school to finish, that dream wasn't possible at the time. And by the time it was, I'd forgotten the thirst. Going back was so good for me and I'm so thankful I did it. I remember sitting at work, wanting to book a ticket but being unsure if it was the right decision, if I could afford it or afford to miss work. Then the man next to me told me something that really helped me and something I'll always try to keep at the forefront of my mind. He said, "What's that soap opera? What's it called?" "Which one?" "One Life to Live. Just do it. In the end, you only have one life to live." And I did it. And it was the best decision I could have made. I went back, I found that feeling again and now I don't have a doubt in my mind of what I have to do. Six months is the goal; March. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. If I fail and can't afford it, at least I did it. At least I tried. Now is the time for taking chances.
I feel like I'm in much better place in my life since that trip. I had so many realizations, about more than just where I should live. I was able to let go of horrible, toxic relationships I've been bound to for way too long. I'm slowly coming back to the person I was and making better choices to be the person I want to be. I may have even met someone new, but I'm not going to attach myself to the idea too soon, the way I have in the past few years. There's no need.
In this moment, I am happy.