(no subject)
I have made a New Year's goal. Actualy more like a plan. I have decided that this year is going to be different. Its a new year and I am going to make good things come out of this year. I am sick of everything seeming like its going wrong. I am not going to leave out ppl anymore. And I am going to try my hardest not to talk about ppl behind their backs or leave them out of anything. I am going to be a good friend. I tell myself that I am a good person for the most part and with that a even better friend. I think deep down in my heart that I am a good friend to ppl and I try my hardest to be there for them. But when it comes down to it I am really not a good friend. You see, I have this bad habit of clinging to one person. And with this year that one person say been Phoenix...now Phoenix dont get upset with what I just said....or done take what I said wrong. I love you so much and this year has been so awesome with you and I dont in any way wanna end our friendship or anything like that. I wouldnt take you being my friend back for anything in the whole world. You are so awesome and I always want to be your friend. But for me the way that thing goes is that I can have a best even great friend for one year and then spend the whole summer with them and when school starts back up again we never even talk anymore. I dont want that with you Phoenix and I didnt want it with anyone else either. I want to always be friends with you Phoenix but I need to "repair" or "doctor" up some of my old friendships too...along with being your friend and always being there for you too. I want to make things so much better for me and everyone else this year. So in order for me to do that I need to say a few things to some ppl....
Pamela-I am very sorry for everything that has happened. I know lots of stuff has happened but we have gone through a lot together. And I dont think that we should lose a great friendship bc of a few things that have happened. I know that at the beginning of the year I kinda left everyone bc of that one reason you know that I am not going to say, and I stoped talking to all of ya'll and everything like that. And I also know that part of that is my fault and that part of that isnt. But it doesnt really matter whos fault it is anyways. All I am trying to say is that I am sorry and that I know that what I did was wrong. We can always get together and do stuff with just me and you...it doesnt have to be with anyone else. But I wanna get together and do stuff with you again soon. I want our friendship back. Okay? I love you and from now on I promise I am going to be a MUCH better friend.
Angelica-Okay...I know that me and you have had our stupid lil annoying fights and stuff like that but in the end I know that we both love each other and always will. I dont understand how we went to being best friends with eah other everyday to not hardly talking at all. I am not going to do this whole your fault my fault thing but I am going to say one or two things...I am very sorry for everything that has happened so please forgive me and lets try to get things back to being good with us again. We can do anything you want to and it can just be me and you like old times. But lets just be friends again and try to make things better. I miss you and I wanna be friends with you. I am sorry.
Kristen-I know that at the beginning of the year me and you "hit it off" really good and we became good friends. And then everything happened and stuff became other things and blah blah but what I dont understand is how once everything happened we just stoped being friends? Now I dont know much but one thing I do know is that I think that you are really cool. Now I know that I have said some things I shouldnt have about you and that you have said some about me but thats besides that point. None of that stuff matters to me anymore. I just want things to be ok and for me and you to be able to be friends again. I am sorry for everything that so happened though.
Morgan-I know that you have gotten a lot of new friends and that they are awesome and probaly even cooler and better then me but I just wish that we could be better friends. We were pretty good friends before and we are still friends and stuff I just wish that we could be better friends. I want you to be able to trust me and I want us to be better friends and everything. I love you to death and I am sorry for everything.
Nikki-I am so sorry. I have been a bad friend. I wish I could say thats not true but I know it is. I would do anything to take back the fact that I have been but I cant. But please, please lets be able to move on and be friends again. Great friends. You are so awesome. Such an awesome person and an even better friend. I am so sorry for everything that I did and I really wanna be friends with you. Really good friends with you. I love you so much and I promise I will be a better friend.
And to anyone else that I have hurt...I am truely sorry. I wish that I didnt ever hurt you but I did and I cant do anything to take that back. But please forgive me for whatever it is. I am going to be trying my every hardest to be a better person and friend.
I love each and everyone of ya'll so so so much!!! Love always, ME!!!