Feb 19, 2010 14:03
So rushed a sorority, got a bid, accepted the big, now pledging.
its a lot of work and i'm nervous i wont be able to get everything done but i want to try
last night i got my BIGGG im so excited, its who i thought it was so im happy.
im stressed theres so much work to be done since friday night and all of saturday are taken away from me for sorority things.
i really need my self confidence back. its getting ridiculous. i never used to care what other people thought about me but now i do care for some reason. its weird. but i feel like maybe im not good enough anymore or that maybe im not meant to be with someone, even though everyone deserves to be with someone
school is also making life difficult. its super discouraging when you try so hard, and you study hard and you still get a C. its just difficult and makes me think that its not worth it. that i might as well try and get a job without a degree. but i know that will NEVEr fly with my parents. ever. i just gotta start caring a little more. start trying even harder.
ahh and this paper im trying to write for music is absurd. why do i need to attach a melody to a poem that already has music to it? theres no reason for it and it is a pointless assignment. plus writing about it is difficult. how are you supposed to write it without making it sound so jumpy. gah -__- this is going to be a loooooong weekend