(no subject)
Sometimes... n onli a very few times do i get the way i was last night... every day at school i feel amazing and all i am is happi... so wat the hell happend last night is what i wanna know.. everythin came crashing down and i didnt know what to do. I have no problems on this campus.. i have amazing friends everywhere but for some reason i felt so left out recently... to be honest i think it treks bak to ytown... it was soo nice to be honest to feel like my homegirls wanted to see me that badly but as quickly as they "missed" me... they didnt even care ne more... i feel like i cant win with anythin wen i get home... i get yelled at and bitched at that i cant go to a bar that i cant get into therefor they all stop realizing i exist and i have feelings.. but this is what i mean... i havent cared about ne thin until i went home for break.. ytown realli fucks with people... jus being there for a week made me depressed again.. i cant even fuckin take it.. now i have to rebuild my confidence and stop givin a fuck about petti shit again on campus cuz i lost soo much happiness n i dont even know why.
Sometimes i realli wish things could have worked out with me n rob.. i dont even know why i like him b cuz quite honestli he is absolutli nuthin special and he didnt do ne thin good. but i liked the way i was always smilin when he was in the picture... i unno seems to me that i havent realli been happi since last summer when me and michael were together... i can think bak and remember meeting tomato head and him bluntly saying to me."damn r u ever not happi cuz everytime i see u ur soooo happi." and in my head i can remember glancing and michael and feeling like i was flying in the clouds.. as dum as it sounds i thought life had finalli handed me a fairytale... and just like everythin else.. that crashed too.. Thanks tracie for fuckin up my friendship with him too... i fuckin hate that bitch for everythin she is doing... god i cant wait till everyone realizes how fake she is... how could any guy wanna be with a girl that has areadi been tossed around by all his friends.. lol~ used pple.. gotta be great... aight enough cuz im angry and could write a novel bout how much i hate that girl.
sometimes i just want to have someone to care about who cares bak for me... to be honest dont even think i could handle having a boyfriend... i jus wanna have someone to be "with" right now... i dont wanna hand over my freedom and i dont wanna be on lockdown.. but i dont wanna be hookin up with different random guys and i wanna smile when i see that "one" guy and i was the butterflies to start fluttering wen he puts his arms around me.. and i guess i jus wanna have that feeling of compassion bak... and maybe thats why im stuck on rob.. we all know how i am.. the min someone new steps into the picture.. the old scumbags dont even effect me ne more and then they end up turnin around and comin bak... its the same freken stori over and over.. lol. i jus wanna go bak to not caring bout nuthin but being fun and having a good time.. therefor Today is the begining of the month and the begining of spring and i am going to pull everythin bak together.
What i want to accomplish
1. Loose weight ((10/15 lbs))
2. Make more friends
3. cut back on ciggs
4. See my homegirls more often... get bak in the pic with them
5. Get my mind off of rob
6. Get my grades up to all B+'s n A's ((that wont be hard at all... they are b's lol))
7. Work out every day at the gym hard core
8. Stop stressing stupd shit
9. Go shopping
10. Work like crazee make some money
Spring is comin.. its actualli almost here.. and i wanna get everythin bak in order
Sometimes i realli wish things could have worked out with me n rob.. i dont even know why i like him b cuz quite honestli he is absolutli nuthin special and he didnt do ne thin good. but i liked the way i was always smilin when he was in the picture... i unno seems to me that i havent realli been happi since last summer when me and michael were together... i can think bak and remember meeting tomato head and him bluntly saying to me."damn r u ever not happi cuz everytime i see u ur soooo happi." and in my head i can remember glancing and michael and feeling like i was flying in the clouds.. as dum as it sounds i thought life had finalli handed me a fairytale... and just like everythin else.. that crashed too.. Thanks tracie for fuckin up my friendship with him too... i fuckin hate that bitch for everythin she is doing... god i cant wait till everyone realizes how fake she is... how could any guy wanna be with a girl that has areadi been tossed around by all his friends.. lol~ used pple.. gotta be great... aight enough cuz im angry and could write a novel bout how much i hate that girl.
sometimes i just want to have someone to care about who cares bak for me... to be honest dont even think i could handle having a boyfriend... i jus wanna have someone to be "with" right now... i dont wanna hand over my freedom and i dont wanna be on lockdown.. but i dont wanna be hookin up with different random guys and i wanna smile when i see that "one" guy and i was the butterflies to start fluttering wen he puts his arms around me.. and i guess i jus wanna have that feeling of compassion bak... and maybe thats why im stuck on rob.. we all know how i am.. the min someone new steps into the picture.. the old scumbags dont even effect me ne more and then they end up turnin around and comin bak... its the same freken stori over and over.. lol. i jus wanna go bak to not caring bout nuthin but being fun and having a good time.. therefor Today is the begining of the month and the begining of spring and i am going to pull everythin bak together.
What i want to accomplish
1. Loose weight ((10/15 lbs))
2. Make more friends
3. cut back on ciggs
4. See my homegirls more often... get bak in the pic with them
5. Get my mind off of rob
6. Get my grades up to all B+'s n A's ((that wont be hard at all... they are b's lol))
7. Work out every day at the gym hard core
8. Stop stressing stupd shit
9. Go shopping
10. Work like crazee make some money
Spring is comin.. its actualli almost here.. and i wanna get everythin bak in order