(no subject)
My Daddy has lung, throat, and brain cancer. He's getting radiation every day for two weeks to try to shrink the brain tumors. After that, he starts 6 to 10 weeks of chemo to shrink the lung/throat cancer. Hopefully, if he has any other cancer, that will also be shrinked by the chemo.
If anyone has ever met me, they know how much I love my Daddy, but more than that like him, admire him, look up to him, emulate him, and adore him. I have never thought before that he is actually mortal. Turns out he is. And one day, he will die and that will be the end of him in real life.
With so many other things going on in life right now, I can't really focus on any of it but going to see my Daddy and working enough to afford to do it more.
I'm here in KY now, but it's not the same. It's very sad. He can barely talk because of the throat cancer, so no long, divergent, interesting conversations. He sleeps a good portion of the time because the radiation treatments wear him out. And his tastebuds are not working so even when I cook for him, he doesn't really enjoy it.
I'm about as sad as I can possibly be over this. But I'm trying to have a good attitude based on the fact that there is nothing I can do to help or hinder this, and in the end, it's his life, not mine. All I can do is feel how I feel (sad, stressed out, trying to avoid reality), witness what is going on, and wait and see what goes on next.
It sucks. Big.
If anyone has ever met me, they know how much I love my Daddy, but more than that like him, admire him, look up to him, emulate him, and adore him. I have never thought before that he is actually mortal. Turns out he is. And one day, he will die and that will be the end of him in real life.
With so many other things going on in life right now, I can't really focus on any of it but going to see my Daddy and working enough to afford to do it more.
I'm here in KY now, but it's not the same. It's very sad. He can barely talk because of the throat cancer, so no long, divergent, interesting conversations. He sleeps a good portion of the time because the radiation treatments wear him out. And his tastebuds are not working so even when I cook for him, he doesn't really enjoy it.
I'm about as sad as I can possibly be over this. But I'm trying to have a good attitude based on the fact that there is nothing I can do to help or hinder this, and in the end, it's his life, not mine. All I can do is feel how I feel (sad, stressed out, trying to avoid reality), witness what is going on, and wait and see what goes on next.
It sucks. Big.