Random insecurities and the fewchr of mai brainz.
So lately, I admit I've been a bit aloof, even avoidant. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I've been walling myself off and I partially expect to just crawl into a dark place, curl up and wait for death like an old, wounded animal.
Is it normal to feel over the hill at age 26?
Looking back I realize I had a good run; been rather busy the past few years; done a lot of things, met a lot of very influential people, been in broadway shows, posed for photographs and modeled myself after pretty things, climbed mountains, forged friendships, lost loves, and learned from it all. These memories, I will forever cherish. But I can't help but to view myself as I was ten, five, even two years ago, and wonder what happened. I used to be beautiful, so much more beautiful than I am today. I was radiant, personable, I overcame burdens, and with my sheer ambition, earned a lifetime's worth of achievements and honors. Now I feel as if I should never bother again, since I am nothing more but an ugly, hollowed out doll of what I used to be.
When did I become so jaded?
Is it normal to feel over the hill at age 26?
Looking back I realize I had a good run; been rather busy the past few years; done a lot of things, met a lot of very influential people, been in broadway shows, posed for photographs and modeled myself after pretty things, climbed mountains, forged friendships, lost loves, and learned from it all. These memories, I will forever cherish. But I can't help but to view myself as I was ten, five, even two years ago, and wonder what happened. I used to be beautiful, so much more beautiful than I am today. I was radiant, personable, I overcame burdens, and with my sheer ambition, earned a lifetime's worth of achievements and honors. Now I feel as if I should never bother again, since I am nothing more but an ugly, hollowed out doll of what I used to be.
When did I become so jaded?