(no subject)
wow...
the past few days ive realized
how badly i hurt arthur
and how i totalllllyyyy fucked that whole thing up
but no i keep thinkning fuck boyfriends
fuck anything meaningful
PARTY DRINK PARTY BEER DRINK SMOKE FUCK DRINK
and all that....and thats what im good at
im not afriad to commite to him or anyone really
im just afraid ill fuck up
and that i might lose my social life
but i realized the other day
i was talking to jasan,
and he said the most dickheadish thing any boy has
EVER said to me...and i was discusted
i felt like all he liked me for was...well my body
and the fact that i totally feel for his little stupid charm
but thats what gets me
i thought that well i liked him all threw the school year
and well he doesnt do coke anymore...so how bad could it be?
but no i pretty much made a fool out of myself
again...just like i did with luke.
but i know arthur would never say anything like that to me
and he would only try to make me happy
and he would let me have my time
with my friends
and im the one who fucked it all up
no one will read this
but you know its just something i needed to write out
so i could actually read and learn from my mistakes.
the past few days ive realized
how badly i hurt arthur
and how i totalllllyyyy fucked that whole thing up
but no i keep thinkning fuck boyfriends
fuck anything meaningful
PARTY DRINK PARTY BEER DRINK SMOKE FUCK DRINK
and all that....and thats what im good at
im not afriad to commite to him or anyone really
im just afraid ill fuck up
and that i might lose my social life
but i realized the other day
i was talking to jasan,
and he said the most dickheadish thing any boy has
EVER said to me...and i was discusted
i felt like all he liked me for was...well my body
and the fact that i totally feel for his little stupid charm
but thats what gets me
i thought that well i liked him all threw the school year
and well he doesnt do coke anymore...so how bad could it be?
but no i pretty much made a fool out of myself
again...just like i did with luke.
but i know arthur would never say anything like that to me
and he would only try to make me happy
and he would let me have my time
with my friends
and im the one who fucked it all up
no one will read this
but you know its just something i needed to write out
so i could actually read and learn from my mistakes.