AND NOW, A HOST SEGMENT:
[LOCATION: Satellite of Love Redux bridge. TOM SERVO sits on the desk, smoking a pipe and reading Benjamin Parzybok's book, Couch.]
TOM SERVO: Oh Tree, you lovable, wacked out hippy psychic.
[CROW T. ROBOT enters, stage left.]
CROW: Aw, MAN! I don't BELIEVE IT!
[SERVO starts, dropping the book and pipe.]
TOM SERVO: Huh? Whuzzat? Whoza?!
CROW: I lost the Game AGAIN! Maaaan, I had a real streak going there!
TOM SERVO: Wha? What game? We playing a game? Wait, did you just blow it on the last stage of Galaga again?
CROW: No, not THAT game. THE Game. THAT one. I lost it! Daaah, I lost it again!
[TOM SERVO stares at him like he's crazy.]
TOM SERVO: Crow, did you eat the bad RAM chips again?
CROW: Oh, don't tell me you don't know about the game! Dah, I lost again!
TOM SERVO: Well, maybe I'd know about it if you TOLD ME WHAT IT IS!
[CROW shakes his head.]
CROW: You know. THE game. The one you're not supposed to think of -- daaah!
TOM SERVO: ...ohhhh. Ah ha ha ha. Funny. That dumb internet joke. Well, whoopdie-doo, you lost. Can you go lose somewhere else please? I'm having some me time.
[TOM SERVO picks his book back up.]
CROW: Hey, don't act so non-chalant! You lost too!
TOM SERVO: Crow, I'm not even PLAYING.
CROW: Don't be silly, you can't NOT play the Game, Servo. D'oh!
TOM SERVO: Watch me.
[MIKE NELSON enters, stage right, munching on a Hostess Snowball.]
MIKE: Hey guys, what's happening?
TOM SERVO: Oh, Crow is griping because he lost some stupid Game or other.
MIKE/CROW: D'oh!
MIKE: Aw, man, Servo, you made me lose!
[TOM SERVO stares at Mike in dismay.]
TOM SERVO: Aw, man, Mike, not you too!
MIKE: Well of COURSE, Servo. EVERYBODY'S playing it.
TOM SERVO: I'M not! In fact, I am very much not playing, and instead am trying to READ!
CROW: It doesn't work like that, Servo. You're playing whether you like it or not.
TOM SERVO: Whaaaat? That's ridiculous! What do you think this is, an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie?
MIKE: Sorry, Servo, but he's right. We're all playing the Game right no -- D'oooh!
CROW: Damnit, Mike!
TOM SERVO: No! I refuse! This is nothing but a silly little mental exercise turned into some widespread internet gag. You will NOT find ME playing this silly little game!
GYPSY: D'oooooooh!
[GYPSY enters, stage right.]
GYPSY: Who said that? You made me lose the game, you jerk!
TOM SERVO: You've gotta be kidding me! Gypsy too?!
GYPSY: EVERYBODY'S playing it, Tom!
MIKE: You've gotta excuse Tom, Gypsy. *whispers* He's in denial.
TOM SERVO: I am NOT IN DENIAL! I am just trying to sit here, and smoke my pipe, and read my book, and NOT play some stupid infantile game!
CROW/GYPSY/MIKE: D'ooooooh! *various cries of TOOOOM and "I lost again!"*
TOM SERVO: Gh... you... you stupid... ARRRRRRRGH!
[TOM runs off screaming, stage left.]
CROW: Man, some people just can't handle losing the game with grace -- d'ooh!
GYPSY: CROW!
MIKE: *to camera* We'll be back in a bit.
[MIKE presses the commercial sign button. TOM SERVO, in the meantime, goes ELSEWHERE...]
TOM SERVO: Oh Tree, you lovable, wacked out hippy psychic.
[CROW T. ROBOT enters, stage left.]
CROW: Aw, MAN! I don't BELIEVE IT!
[SERVO starts, dropping the book and pipe.]
TOM SERVO: Huh? Whuzzat? Whoza?!
CROW: I lost the Game AGAIN! Maaaan, I had a real streak going there!
TOM SERVO: Wha? What game? We playing a game? Wait, did you just blow it on the last stage of Galaga again?
CROW: No, not THAT game. THE Game. THAT one. I lost it! Daaah, I lost it again!
[TOM SERVO stares at him like he's crazy.]
TOM SERVO: Crow, did you eat the bad RAM chips again?
CROW: Oh, don't tell me you don't know about the game! Dah, I lost again!
TOM SERVO: Well, maybe I'd know about it if you TOLD ME WHAT IT IS!
[CROW shakes his head.]
CROW: You know. THE game. The one you're not supposed to think of -- daaah!
TOM SERVO: ...ohhhh. Ah ha ha ha. Funny. That dumb internet joke. Well, whoopdie-doo, you lost. Can you go lose somewhere else please? I'm having some me time.
[TOM SERVO picks his book back up.]
CROW: Hey, don't act so non-chalant! You lost too!
TOM SERVO: Crow, I'm not even PLAYING.
CROW: Don't be silly, you can't NOT play the Game, Servo. D'oh!
TOM SERVO: Watch me.
[MIKE NELSON enters, stage right, munching on a Hostess Snowball.]
MIKE: Hey guys, what's happening?
TOM SERVO: Oh, Crow is griping because he lost some stupid Game or other.
MIKE/CROW: D'oh!
MIKE: Aw, man, Servo, you made me lose!
[TOM SERVO stares at Mike in dismay.]
TOM SERVO: Aw, man, Mike, not you too!
MIKE: Well of COURSE, Servo. EVERYBODY'S playing it.
TOM SERVO: I'M not! In fact, I am very much not playing, and instead am trying to READ!
CROW: It doesn't work like that, Servo. You're playing whether you like it or not.
TOM SERVO: Whaaaat? That's ridiculous! What do you think this is, an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie?
MIKE: Sorry, Servo, but he's right. We're all playing the Game right no -- D'oooh!
CROW: Damnit, Mike!
TOM SERVO: No! I refuse! This is nothing but a silly little mental exercise turned into some widespread internet gag. You will NOT find ME playing this silly little game!
GYPSY: D'oooooooh!
[GYPSY enters, stage right.]
GYPSY: Who said that? You made me lose the game, you jerk!
TOM SERVO: You've gotta be kidding me! Gypsy too?!
GYPSY: EVERYBODY'S playing it, Tom!
MIKE: You've gotta excuse Tom, Gypsy. *whispers* He's in denial.
TOM SERVO: I am NOT IN DENIAL! I am just trying to sit here, and smoke my pipe, and read my book, and NOT play some stupid infantile game!
CROW/GYPSY/MIKE: D'ooooooh! *various cries of TOOOOM and "I lost again!"*
TOM SERVO: Gh... you... you stupid... ARRRRRRRGH!
[TOM runs off screaming, stage left.]
CROW: Man, some people just can't handle losing the game with grace -- d'ooh!
GYPSY: CROW!
MIKE: *to camera* We'll be back in a bit.
[MIKE presses the commercial sign button. TOM SERVO, in the meantime, goes ELSEWHERE...]