Writer friends
Since I started writing again, I've taken some of my old artistic, writerly risks: I almost think of them as pranks, my letters, flyers, and essays. I was invited to write a piece for a men's website on domestic abuse, and it was so sarcastic that I feared they'd reject it. I'm actually still waiting to hear what the committee has to say about it: my first reader at the site liked it and she's the CEO but apparently that's not enough. That's okay. The other two people who've read it are Kevin and Melissa. Kevin was so freaked out by it that we had a hard evening because of it. I didn't even consider that he would react so strongly to sarcasm as to panic at it, but the way I wrote it channels the spirit of an abuser so convincingly that it scared the shit out of him. It still scares me some thinking of how he responded to it and how I read it after that. Later, I sent it to Melissa, and she helped me make sense of where that voice came from. She talked about how we model the people who have power over us, and it wasn't so scary after that. It's just an essay, just vicious humor. I don't actually abuse people.
I'm reading more work from people closer to me: friends, people I've met as writer-peers and so feel close to, rather than writers whose books I've purchased and who I would not directly approach for fear of appearing fanboyish. I will buy my friends' books, too, someday, but I'm harsh: I won't tell my artist friends that I like their work if I don't. The best I'll do is not say anything, but when asked directly, I will be frank. Sometimes I have to tell people that their work lacks something critical, like plot or humor or character development. I always fear their response but am confident in giving feedback. I know that I'm a good reader. I can feel a little taken aback when they're defensive in response, but it doesn't threaten to carry me off in terror that my firmament is washing out from under me. I know that arguing for your work doesn't make it any better.
I'm much more secure as a writer than I am in some other areas. But the waiting and the potential for rejection of me as a writer is there and a thrill, frankly. Like waiting for an article to come back from review. Waiting to hear what another writer is going to say about my submission is always exciting. I'm ready to take the feedback: excited, like I'm ready to fight. I love getting something back that I can use to make my draft better. I don't have to look up to the reader to appreciate their feedback, but when I respect them as a writer, it means something more than one reader's response. I trust a writer to be something like ten regular readers.
I'm reading more work from people closer to me: friends, people I've met as writer-peers and so feel close to, rather than writers whose books I've purchased and who I would not directly approach for fear of appearing fanboyish. I will buy my friends' books, too, someday, but I'm harsh: I won't tell my artist friends that I like their work if I don't. The best I'll do is not say anything, but when asked directly, I will be frank. Sometimes I have to tell people that their work lacks something critical, like plot or humor or character development. I always fear their response but am confident in giving feedback. I know that I'm a good reader. I can feel a little taken aback when they're defensive in response, but it doesn't threaten to carry me off in terror that my firmament is washing out from under me. I know that arguing for your work doesn't make it any better.
I'm much more secure as a writer than I am in some other areas. But the waiting and the potential for rejection of me as a writer is there and a thrill, frankly. Like waiting for an article to come back from review. Waiting to hear what another writer is going to say about my submission is always exciting. I'm ready to take the feedback: excited, like I'm ready to fight. I love getting something back that I can use to make my draft better. I don't have to look up to the reader to appreciate their feedback, but when I respect them as a writer, it means something more than one reader's response. I trust a writer to be something like ten regular readers.