Are you perspiring from the irony?
So. Some tv station was airing That 70's Show earlier this morning and they played "Jackie Bags Hyde" from season three. Which is a close third to my favorite thing that Jackie and Hyde have ever done together (only to be beaten out by her constantly sitting on his lap, and that episode where she is staying with him in his GARAGE BEDROOM. So sweet.) And I just have so many things to do: three page essay regarding the business that is the internet, a fifty question math worksheet (whhhyyyy, math teacher, whyyyyyyyy?), and a short essay on "The Outsiders" which I have yet to even get through chapter one in - but I watched this episode and just WANTED TO PICSPAM so badly, that homework can wait.
Here, we start out the episode. Innocent Jackie in her disgusting outfit that is featured the entire time asks Hyde to go the the Forman's barbecue with her. Mainly because she's not with Kelso anymore and she just doesn't want to be alone, which comes up a lot season three and hurts my heart every time. So she asks him to take her and he says no then covers up the fact that he loves her with a really mean haiku.
Hyde leaves after he is done sputtering off his rude poem about her and leaves Jackie to fend for herself with Donna. Who gives her some lame speech that's all "You can't change Hyde, he doesn't like you, he doesn't like you" because Donna just doesn't get it. Like, come on, she's dating ERIC. Whatever. But Jackie gets really upset because she just wants to be with someone and she's always had this secret crush on Hyde (in my imagination, though totally reins true through the rest of the show) but he turned her down. And just, ouch.
Jackie decides to go to the Forman's barbecue and to spite Hyde she brings this loser guy with a really lame haircut, and parades him around in front of the seat that Hyde just happens to be sitting in. Because she's Jackie Burkeheart and that's what she does.
Then, Jackie has some snarky commentary with Laurie. Who hasn't had mean commentary with Laurie on this show? Meanwhile, her loser boyfriend for the day with the bad hair grabs a beer or something and talks to Hyde about how he can't wait to do Jackie. So Hyde's like, "Dude. Are you sure? Because Jackie's really young and she's only had like one boyfriend before, sooo...." (AWWW so protective and cute! loooovvvveeee) And this dude just goes "Yeah, that's not surprising. She's a bitch." Which, what? Does he know who he is talking to? Did he not notice how Jackie had to stop at Hyde and ONLY Hyde to show him off because he was only a distraction? And Hyde can't just let someone talk about the girl he loves like that so he puts down his beer (so strange for Hyde. He really only puts down beer for her, or to beat up Kelso) and punches this guy, because, HOW DARE HE. And Jackie runs over in this REALLY weird way that is just so endearing because her arms are flapping up and down and her feet are jumping up and down because she's in these weird boots, and I don't know.
After she runs awkwardly towards him, she realizes what happened. And she just smiles really huge and stares at him because A) He is her hero. B) He punched someone out for calling her a bitch. And C) Wooowwwww. She is just so happy! He is her knight in shining armour! After this happens, Hyde goes inside because he just can't stand it anymore and has a really nice conversation with Mrs. Foreman. Which has this adorable part that is like "I don't like her! I don't! If I like her shoot me!" and Kitty makes a gun with her fingers and says "POW!" so he goes outside again to where Jackie is sitting and she just gapes up at him and he says "Jackie, let's go" and they just do. Like that. But she smiles reallllyyyy big again and kind of squees a little bit. SHE IS JUST SO IN LOVE GUYS.
So they go out to the woods in Hyde's car, I guess, and have a chat on top of his hood. She tells him that she understands him and that it's ok and that she's there for him because she knows how terrible poor people can be and he starts fake crying and steaming up his sunglasses and then she holds him in this REALLY SWEET WAY and he looks over at her and sticks out his tongue. Jackie gets soooo mad. Who does this boy think he is? Sticking his tongue out at her when she was just trying to help him? So she gets off the hood and demands to be taken home. Which leads to him smiling (!!! Another thing. He RARELY smiled before Jackie, unless he was high. True Story.) and he says "No, no. It's alright, you're ok. We can stay a little longer." then offers her his drink. (I love when boys do that by the way. Jackets and drinks! Two of my favorite things.)
She takes the drink and slides up closer to him, leading him to put his arm around her, because, what else can he do? And they just sit really close and I enjoy it a lot. While all of this is going on:
Eric and Donna are having a moment where they make up as friends after they got into a fight over their dad's barbecues. Soooooooo interesting. Oh except, not.
So while Eric and Donna hug out their issues with Fourth Of July barbecues or something, Jackie and Hyde are still sitting there making googly eyes at each other and making out. Also see: she is wearing his jacket!! I wish they had shown him giving it to her instead of interrupting their scences for Eric and Donna. So anyways, Jackie decides that she didn't feel anything in the kiss (LIES) and Hyde doesn't want to make her unhappy because he just likes her soooo much so he sits there and agrees. Also there is this really great line before they kiss where Jackie asks what Hyde thought of the date and he replies "It was no worse than bowling. And I don't hate bowling." SO. SWEET. AH MY GOD.
"So. What now?"
"I'm not opposed to doing it."
"Take me home you pig!"
I love them so much. WHY SHOW? WHY FEZ? WHY WOULD YOU BREAK THEM APART? WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME WAIT TWO SEASONS AFTER THIS TO HAVE THEM TOGETHER AGAIN WHEN THEY ARE SO OBVIOUSLY IN LOVE? WHYY? I WISH THEY HADN'T NAMED THIS SHOW "THAT 70'S SHOW" BECAUSE THEN THEY WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO END IT WHEN 1980 CAME AROUND IN THEIR WORLD BECAUSE ANOTHER SEASON AND JACKIE AND HYDE COULD HAVE ULTIMATELY BEEN TOGETHER. I KNOW IT.
Doing this totally reminded me of how much I LOVELOVELOVE pre-love love. Like, when you know two people are meant to be together but they don't exactly know it yet, so you just watch your television screen every week and yell at it "OH MY GOD CAN YOU MAKE OUT ALREADY PLEASE, YOU SO OBVIOUSLY BELONG TOGETHER" until they do finally get together and then you just have a total spazz attack. FAVORITE.
ALSO: My inbox cannot take all of these snowflakes for other people oh my god! Whoever gives me on, and already gave me one, THANK YOUUUU. But oh my god, I left two days ago with zero messages and returned today with TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY SIX. Tis the season!
SO: I love That 70's Show and Hyde and Jackie and I really need to go do that homework. Enjoy how perfect they are together while I waste my brain doing unimportant things like school.
Here, we start out the episode. Innocent Jackie in her disgusting outfit that is featured the entire time asks Hyde to go the the Forman's barbecue with her. Mainly because she's not with Kelso anymore and she just doesn't want to be alone, which comes up a lot season three and hurts my heart every time. So she asks him to take her and he says no then covers up the fact that he loves her with a really mean haiku.
Hyde leaves after he is done sputtering off his rude poem about her and leaves Jackie to fend for herself with Donna. Who gives her some lame speech that's all "You can't change Hyde, he doesn't like you, he doesn't like you" because Donna just doesn't get it. Like, come on, she's dating ERIC. Whatever. But Jackie gets really upset because she just wants to be with someone and she's always had this secret crush on Hyde (in my imagination, though totally reins true through the rest of the show) but he turned her down. And just, ouch.
Jackie decides to go to the Forman's barbecue and to spite Hyde she brings this loser guy with a really lame haircut, and parades him around in front of the seat that Hyde just happens to be sitting in. Because she's Jackie Burkeheart and that's what she does.
Then, Jackie has some snarky commentary with Laurie. Who hasn't had mean commentary with Laurie on this show? Meanwhile, her loser boyfriend for the day with the bad hair grabs a beer or something and talks to Hyde about how he can't wait to do Jackie. So Hyde's like, "Dude. Are you sure? Because Jackie's really young and she's only had like one boyfriend before, sooo...." (AWWW so protective and cute! loooovvvveeee) And this dude just goes "Yeah, that's not surprising. She's a bitch." Which, what? Does he know who he is talking to? Did he not notice how Jackie had to stop at Hyde and ONLY Hyde to show him off because he was only a distraction? And Hyde can't just let someone talk about the girl he loves like that so he puts down his beer (so strange for Hyde. He really only puts down beer for her, or to beat up Kelso) and punches this guy, because, HOW DARE HE. And Jackie runs over in this REALLY weird way that is just so endearing because her arms are flapping up and down and her feet are jumping up and down because she's in these weird boots, and I don't know.
After she runs awkwardly towards him, she realizes what happened. And she just smiles really huge and stares at him because A) He is her hero. B) He punched someone out for calling her a bitch. And C) Wooowwwww. She is just so happy! He is her knight in shining armour! After this happens, Hyde goes inside because he just can't stand it anymore and has a really nice conversation with Mrs. Foreman. Which has this adorable part that is like "I don't like her! I don't! If I like her shoot me!" and Kitty makes a gun with her fingers and says "POW!" so he goes outside again to where Jackie is sitting and she just gapes up at him and he says "Jackie, let's go" and they just do. Like that. But she smiles reallllyyyy big again and kind of squees a little bit. SHE IS JUST SO IN LOVE GUYS.
So they go out to the woods in Hyde's car, I guess, and have a chat on top of his hood. She tells him that she understands him and that it's ok and that she's there for him because she knows how terrible poor people can be and he starts fake crying and steaming up his sunglasses and then she holds him in this REALLY SWEET WAY and he looks over at her and sticks out his tongue. Jackie gets soooo mad. Who does this boy think he is? Sticking his tongue out at her when she was just trying to help him? So she gets off the hood and demands to be taken home. Which leads to him smiling (!!! Another thing. He RARELY smiled before Jackie, unless he was high. True Story.) and he says "No, no. It's alright, you're ok. We can stay a little longer." then offers her his drink. (I love when boys do that by the way. Jackets and drinks! Two of my favorite things.)
She takes the drink and slides up closer to him, leading him to put his arm around her, because, what else can he do? And they just sit really close and I enjoy it a lot. While all of this is going on:
Eric and Donna are having a moment where they make up as friends after they got into a fight over their dad's barbecues. Soooooooo interesting. Oh except, not.
So while Eric and Donna hug out their issues with Fourth Of July barbecues or something, Jackie and Hyde are still sitting there making googly eyes at each other and making out. Also see: she is wearing his jacket!! I wish they had shown him giving it to her instead of interrupting their scences for Eric and Donna. So anyways, Jackie decides that she didn't feel anything in the kiss (LIES) and Hyde doesn't want to make her unhappy because he just likes her soooo much so he sits there and agrees. Also there is this really great line before they kiss where Jackie asks what Hyde thought of the date and he replies "It was no worse than bowling. And I don't hate bowling." SO. SWEET. AH MY GOD.
"So. What now?"
"I'm not opposed to doing it."
"Take me home you pig!"
I love them so much. WHY SHOW? WHY FEZ? WHY WOULD YOU BREAK THEM APART? WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME WAIT TWO SEASONS AFTER THIS TO HAVE THEM TOGETHER AGAIN WHEN THEY ARE SO OBVIOUSLY IN LOVE? WHYY? I WISH THEY HADN'T NAMED THIS SHOW "THAT 70'S SHOW" BECAUSE THEN THEY WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO END IT WHEN 1980 CAME AROUND IN THEIR WORLD BECAUSE ANOTHER SEASON AND JACKIE AND HYDE COULD HAVE ULTIMATELY BEEN TOGETHER. I KNOW IT.
Doing this totally reminded me of how much I LOVELOVELOVE pre-love love. Like, when you know two people are meant to be together but they don't exactly know it yet, so you just watch your television screen every week and yell at it "OH MY GOD CAN YOU MAKE OUT ALREADY PLEASE, YOU SO OBVIOUSLY BELONG TOGETHER" until they do finally get together and then you just have a total spazz attack. FAVORITE.
ALSO: My inbox cannot take all of these snowflakes for other people oh my god! Whoever gives me on, and already gave me one, THANK YOUUUU. But oh my god, I left two days ago with zero messages and returned today with TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY SIX. Tis the season!
SO: I love That 70's Show and Hyde and Jackie and I really need to go do that homework. Enjoy how perfect they are together while I waste my brain doing unimportant things like school.