mi birfday
so i guess it's my birthday. i'm now officially 27. GAG! only 3 years to 30. i definatly don't feel that old. i guess i'll feel 21 for the rest of my life. i've talked to people about that, some people just feel a certain age in their heads and never really feel the age that they are.
i just wish i had more to show for my age. i guess i look at my parents and they were married, with a house and i think one kid by the time they were my age. i'm not even close to marriage, will probably never be able to afford a house, and KIDS...well. i'm about to quit my job (which isn't even that great) and go be a bum in the woods for 5 months, and don't even have a plan for when i get back. i'm still dating the same person i was in high school and we somehow can never make it work, but i still hang on. i live in a grubbly apartment, and still think of my parents house as home. is this normal for a 27 year old? i don't know what's normal anymore. it's so weird. i wish things were easier, or that i hadn't made my life so hard.
in any case, i'm hangin out all by myself. somehow i'm okay with that. i never thought i could get to the point where i was happy being by myself, but i guess when you're forced to it eventually has to be okay. i'm going to walk to the store in the snowstorm and get some cream cheese so i can make icing for the sugar cookies i'm going to make. i think i'll stop at renee's and see if she wants to walk with me, and also if she'll let me borrow her cookie cutters. i think i'll make trees. with frosting and...yes! i'll see if i can find some sprinkles. mmm..then i'll bring them to work and make my boss eat them. assuming he's still not hung over friday night. >:)
i just wish i had more to show for my age. i guess i look at my parents and they were married, with a house and i think one kid by the time they were my age. i'm not even close to marriage, will probably never be able to afford a house, and KIDS...well. i'm about to quit my job (which isn't even that great) and go be a bum in the woods for 5 months, and don't even have a plan for when i get back. i'm still dating the same person i was in high school and we somehow can never make it work, but i still hang on. i live in a grubbly apartment, and still think of my parents house as home. is this normal for a 27 year old? i don't know what's normal anymore. it's so weird. i wish things were easier, or that i hadn't made my life so hard.
in any case, i'm hangin out all by myself. somehow i'm okay with that. i never thought i could get to the point where i was happy being by myself, but i guess when you're forced to it eventually has to be okay. i'm going to walk to the store in the snowstorm and get some cream cheese so i can make icing for the sugar cookies i'm going to make. i think i'll stop at renee's and see if she wants to walk with me, and also if she'll let me borrow her cookie cutters. i think i'll make trees. with frosting and...yes! i'll see if i can find some sprinkles. mmm..then i'll bring them to work and make my boss eat them. assuming he's still not hung over friday night. >:)