(no subject)
i've been feeling weird this past few weeks. work has been unbelievably tiring, and i go through the day dreading every patient that comes in. i get home and am exhausted and moody. i don't know what's going on. i feel like i'm dangerously obsessed with my weight, and i know i haven't been eating enough, maybe that's it? i just feel like i'm running myself into the ground, and i can't really figure out what for. last weekend was a 4 day one, and i REALLY wanted to go stay at these cabins in sugar hill (yea THOSE ones, jules)....but i guess they cost too much. so we went to NY and saw josh's fam...and he hunted. i spent almost all of saturday on the couch reading this christian book. it was like looking at a car wreck, really horribly written and a totally trite stupid story but i couldn't stop reading it. i read the whole thing. i guess i didn't feel that relaxed after the weekend, even though we came home early. i don't know what's going on with me. it's made even worse by the fact that if i'm feeling tired or grumpy i have to play nice w/ patients all day and act like i give a shit about their stupid non-existant pains, and so i use up all my nice-nice and by the time i get home i feel like being a total bitch to anyone who even looks at me. i'm considering taking st johns wort but i don't know if it works and/or is what i need. *sigh* i really need a vacation, but that's not going to happen.