update?
I just got back from a week-long trip to New Rochelle. In total, I've spent 5 weeks there this summer. Most of my time has been spent with Briana, Jeff, Tara, and Kaveh.
It has been amazing to be constantly with Bria again, like the way we were before I moved, but it's also a reality check on how much we've changed. It makes me really appeciate the fact that we've held onto eachother.
She's currently with Jeff, who I'm also really close to, and it's weird to be close to two people in a hetero relationship... They have some issues, because Bri is a handful, but I can see how much they care about eachother and it's good to be able to help them both. It's good to have a guy friend but it also makes me appreciate the way girls work.
I've just started getting close to Tara, and she's really amazing to talk to/hang with.
Kaveh and I have our ups and downs. Being with him, whatever we are, makes me really miss how emotionally available Grace tended to be, though it frustrated me sometimes.
I've been talking to David again, and I saw him when I went down last. It's weird, because David and I have never been clear about what we are. All we know is this comfortable love that has truly stood the test of time. It's good to hang out with/talk to him.
Rafi is off at college in California, but I get e-mails and calls from him. It seems like he's doing well, despite the huge adjustment.
The last week feels like it has been centered around sex. It's crazy, because I keep referring back to how things were with Grace, and despite all of our issues, sexually we had an incredibly healthy relationship. And consequently, I've been thinking a lot about Grace lately... The music that I stole from her and am exploring, the clothes of hers that are definately the comfiest in my closet, the way we talked and joked no matter what we were doing. I wouldn't trade in time that I spent with her for anything.
And I'm excited for school like you wouldn't believe... Like I wouldn't believe from myself... To get back to being insanely busy will be incredible. I miss dance SO MUCH. And theater too. I'm excited to be performing again.
In terms of my health, I'm not so great. My stomach/sinuses/throat/sleep schedule and everything have all gotten worse. Nobody knows what's wrong with me and I just keep getting sicker. And the issues with eating are back in full swing. Every day my body battles my mind over food... Some days are worse than others. David thinks I should talk to a doctor. I'm sort of against it. I guess I'm just unsure of what they'll say to me... And I'm nowhere near as bad as people with like real food issues. So.
I'm scared of doing a year without free periods and without Shelby... She's leaving for Spain in like a week I think. I don't know. I'll miss her.
My car is in the shop, and it's going to cost about 250 dollars to fix, which is pretty sweet considering it's as old as I am... So the day after our birthday, my car and I will go to get my permit. I'm excited to drive consistently.
Whew. Update done.
It has been amazing to be constantly with Bria again, like the way we were before I moved, but it's also a reality check on how much we've changed. It makes me really appeciate the fact that we've held onto eachother.
She's currently with Jeff, who I'm also really close to, and it's weird to be close to two people in a hetero relationship... They have some issues, because Bri is a handful, but I can see how much they care about eachother and it's good to be able to help them both. It's good to have a guy friend but it also makes me appreciate the way girls work.
I've just started getting close to Tara, and she's really amazing to talk to/hang with.
Kaveh and I have our ups and downs. Being with him, whatever we are, makes me really miss how emotionally available Grace tended to be, though it frustrated me sometimes.
I've been talking to David again, and I saw him when I went down last. It's weird, because David and I have never been clear about what we are. All we know is this comfortable love that has truly stood the test of time. It's good to hang out with/talk to him.
Rafi is off at college in California, but I get e-mails and calls from him. It seems like he's doing well, despite the huge adjustment.
The last week feels like it has been centered around sex. It's crazy, because I keep referring back to how things were with Grace, and despite all of our issues, sexually we had an incredibly healthy relationship. And consequently, I've been thinking a lot about Grace lately... The music that I stole from her and am exploring, the clothes of hers that are definately the comfiest in my closet, the way we talked and joked no matter what we were doing. I wouldn't trade in time that I spent with her for anything.
And I'm excited for school like you wouldn't believe... Like I wouldn't believe from myself... To get back to being insanely busy will be incredible. I miss dance SO MUCH. And theater too. I'm excited to be performing again.
In terms of my health, I'm not so great. My stomach/sinuses/throat/sleep schedule and everything have all gotten worse. Nobody knows what's wrong with me and I just keep getting sicker. And the issues with eating are back in full swing. Every day my body battles my mind over food... Some days are worse than others. David thinks I should talk to a doctor. I'm sort of against it. I guess I'm just unsure of what they'll say to me... And I'm nowhere near as bad as people with like real food issues. So.
I'm scared of doing a year without free periods and without Shelby... She's leaving for Spain in like a week I think. I don't know. I'll miss her.
My car is in the shop, and it's going to cost about 250 dollars to fix, which is pretty sweet considering it's as old as I am... So the day after our birthday, my car and I will go to get my permit. I'm excited to drive consistently.
Whew. Update done.