(no subject)
I come home for Mario’s last supper. I live in London now, with Janeczka's polish boyfriend. I sleep on the floor and think about finding a job and when all his friends come round I go and stand in the stairwell for a while. Jan is hardly ever home; she plays doubles at Roehampton and goes to a party nearly every night of the week. Liversidge, who always fancied Janeczka, has extended her dissertation deadline to the end of August because her father is under house arrest in New York. She takes holidays to go and see him, stops in at the Frick Collection and buys me a postcard of Thomas More.
I hate ordinary life. The fields and the sea and animals have nothing to do with it, with this hopelessness. I get up early and walk over Vauxhall bridge. London is neon and brown and the birds are loud, there is the strong Thames, willing me on. I had a kind of fantasy about life and now it is going to drown me.
I hate ordinary life. The fields and the sea and animals have nothing to do with it, with this hopelessness. I get up early and walk over Vauxhall bridge. London is neon and brown and the birds are loud, there is the strong Thames, willing me on. I had a kind of fantasy about life and now it is going to drown me.