ok so over this summer i spent a shit load of time at fi's place just sitting by the pool, smoking and watching american dad.
now one night we decided to get krissy to read out taro cards and fuck do i wish she hadn't.
there was something that she said that has been bothering me all this fucking time and now i have realized what it means i feel even worse. like i feel psychically sick from this discovery.
hmm i wish she never said anything
like i seriously cant believe that thats it.
that is what i have been waiting for all this time.
well i hope that when it comes and goes i will get my authority back - i fucken miss it.
oh and another thing - im still really pissed of at this whole trusting people thing.
the people i trust fucking let me down on a daily basis but the people i should trust i cant seem to make my self.
oh yeah and there was something that i heard today that made me also quite sick - what the fuck is wrong with you man? yeah im talking about you! seriously i dont get it. but what ever.
lol em said something brilliant the other night that - boys from the valley are all bong fucked. lol that is why we are having so many issues. its because they literally live in this daily bubble of paranoia and dont see that we dont want to marry them.
horrible news - the pub is shut for ever!
yes my local is gone.
i cried,
then fi cried,
em had the squirrels
... lol she's such a trooper.
i fucking hate this feeling that i have to everyday prove myself.
prove my worth to the world.
why me?
doesnt anyone else feel like taking the fucking pressure of me?
why cant things just be simple?
jesus i sound like an emo kid - ewww.
ps its amazing how the term squirrels means a completely different thing in my wrold now