How does it feel...?
Changes in the past year...
My father's disability last summer.
Me losing a great paying job that I hated anyway.
Going back to school for the first time in five years.
Only working part time which has created a financial situation Mike and I have never faced and it's really difficult.
My parents selling the only house I called home for a billion years.
Among other things..
Sometimes I look back and I wish I could just wake up in my old bedroom, in my old bed that squeaked everytime I moved, to see all my childhood treasures lined up on a shelf or on the wall, to see my father come home at exactly 5:45pm and greet him at the door, to see my mother yelling at one of my many siblings and cooking dinner for 8. I wish I could see my dog again or my cat when she was young. I wish I could go back for one day and see all that I am starting to forget.
I wasn't a very appreciative child and I am not turning into an appreciative adult.
Instead of looking at my situation and balking at it...I am starting to embrace my life and appreciate it now...while I have it good. Otherwise in ten years I will look back at this time and long for it.
Thank god I am getting over myself.
This childish thought process has to end sometime.
As much as is pangs me...it's time to grow the fuck up and get over what I can't change.
I have spent YEARS doing that and I am tired.
Off to study.
My father's disability last summer.
Me losing a great paying job that I hated anyway.
Going back to school for the first time in five years.
Only working part time which has created a financial situation Mike and I have never faced and it's really difficult.
My parents selling the only house I called home for a billion years.
Among other things..
Sometimes I look back and I wish I could just wake up in my old bedroom, in my old bed that squeaked everytime I moved, to see all my childhood treasures lined up on a shelf or on the wall, to see my father come home at exactly 5:45pm and greet him at the door, to see my mother yelling at one of my many siblings and cooking dinner for 8. I wish I could see my dog again or my cat when she was young. I wish I could go back for one day and see all that I am starting to forget.
I wasn't a very appreciative child and I am not turning into an appreciative adult.
Instead of looking at my situation and balking at it...I am starting to embrace my life and appreciate it now...while I have it good. Otherwise in ten years I will look back at this time and long for it.
Thank god I am getting over myself.
This childish thought process has to end sometime.
As much as is pangs me...it's time to grow the fuck up and get over what I can't change.
I have spent YEARS doing that and I am tired.
Off to study.