does it scare you that im ok?
i know i have been neglecting my live journal duties but quite honestly i have very little to complain about..
i mean i havent worked all week, im keeping up with classes, my roomate is amazing, i dunno i mean of course none of my porblems have gona away but its like i dont really care...i wake up i do what i have to and i go to bed i know it seems disgustingly simplistic but thats because i make it that way
I've always needed anticipation i wanna feel like a little kid on christmas eve staring at the ceiling trying every trick of the trade to feel asleep so morning comes faster. I've always been that way i love extreme i love being scared i like not knowing whats gonna happen, but my life is that way... i wake up and i dont know if today my dad is gonna hate me or if somethings gonan break my heart. i figured it out...i know if i dont call home i wont cry that day, or if i neglect certain ppl who suck i wont feel worthless...i know whos gonna be there...
of course im dissapointed bc i learned some of my oldest friends arent who i thought they were bc once i stopped calling the phone stopped ringing...then theres erica whos persistance shows she loves me, and i can do no wrong because she takes me for what i am
i can smile, because i know whats gonna happen...i know i will see lisa five ten fifthteen years from now and breath easy bc shes still a whore, ill see chris still throwing himself at anything that exerts an effort towards him... I feel sorry i really do (ill still probably kick both their asses)
i know this wont make sense to anyone except me but hey its my journal so fuck you guys ;)
with this complete nonsense said i think im gonna go lay down and stare at my ceiling
i mean i havent worked all week, im keeping up with classes, my roomate is amazing, i dunno i mean of course none of my porblems have gona away but its like i dont really care...i wake up i do what i have to and i go to bed i know it seems disgustingly simplistic but thats because i make it that way
I've always needed anticipation i wanna feel like a little kid on christmas eve staring at the ceiling trying every trick of the trade to feel asleep so morning comes faster. I've always been that way i love extreme i love being scared i like not knowing whats gonna happen, but my life is that way... i wake up and i dont know if today my dad is gonna hate me or if somethings gonan break my heart. i figured it out...i know if i dont call home i wont cry that day, or if i neglect certain ppl who suck i wont feel worthless...i know whos gonna be there...
of course im dissapointed bc i learned some of my oldest friends arent who i thought they were bc once i stopped calling the phone stopped ringing...then theres erica whos persistance shows she loves me, and i can do no wrong because she takes me for what i am
i can smile, because i know whats gonna happen...i know i will see lisa five ten fifthteen years from now and breath easy bc shes still a whore, ill see chris still throwing himself at anything that exerts an effort towards him... I feel sorry i really do (ill still probably kick both their asses)
i know this wont make sense to anyone except me but hey its my journal so fuck you guys ;)
with this complete nonsense said i think im gonna go lay down and stare at my ceiling