[ooc] First Memory
The memory catches her off-guard, in the middle of the day, and dimly, she registers the shattering of the cup she was drinking from as it slips from her suddenly nerveless hands, as the memory takes over her.
She is walking in strange surroundings, up a flight of wooden stairs, a man ahead of her in a white haori with a number, different form the one she remembers from her dream, on the back.
He stops just beyond the edge of the light spilling from the doorway. She can't see him quite clearly anymore. "There's someone who wants to meet you." Finally, something in the way of explanation.
She repeats his words, disbelieving. Who would want to meet her? And here, of all places. "Go on," he urges. "Look behind you."
"Behind...?" There are certainly footsteps behind her now, though she saw no one else in that vast empty cavern, and she turns.
Now it's the same man from the dream she had, standing silhouetted in the doorway, smiling, the same kind expression from then. "Ca-captain Aizen," she stutters out. The way her heart soars, when he looks at her, the relief and sense of calm she feels upon seeing him... Yes, this much is the same, unable to be relegated to just memory or the lingering dream. The seed of disbelief and doubt must belong solely to this scene though.
"It's been a while, H-------." His voice is warm, sonorous--just what she had imagined it might be.
She's drawn to him, stumbling forward, stumbling over her own words. "Is it really you, Captain Aizen? I thought... you were dead."
His smile doesn't falter or fall. "It's okay. As you can see, I'm alive."
Tears are threatening to fall now, as she approaches, repeating the syllables of hsi name like she can't believe he's there, like she wants so desperately to believe he is. "Ca-captain Aizen... Captain Aizen, I... I..." What can she say? How to convince herself that he's real?
With a hand, she reaches out, taking hold of his coat, holding on to it as if it was a lifeline. It steadies her slightly too. It certainly feels real. "Captain Aizen..."
"I'm sorry for worrying you, H------." He places a hand on her head, comfortingly, the feel of it warm and familiar, cleansing and reassuring. Suzuran closes her eyes, the tears finally coming unhindered, taking in the feel, the scent of him, and even that is reassuring. No one would think to fake or alter that, the feel of his hand, the scent that was uniquely him. It had to be.
Suzuran cries, no longer able to stop the tears from coming as she sobs. Aizen seems surprised momentarily, but instead of pulling back, simply wraps those warm, comforting hands around her shoulders, bringing her closer to him. "You look even more frail than before. I'm sorry, for making you suffer this much. But I hope you can understand. There was something I had to do. It had to be without you. That's why I had to hide myself from you; why I had to fake my death. You..."
"It's okay, it's alright now." She interrupts his explanation, smiling despite her tears. "As long as you're alive, then it's all okay."
He holds her for a moment, before responding. "Thank you, H-------. I'm truly glad to have you as my subordinate. Thank you so much." And her heart is so full right now, everything is going to be okay, that's the feeling she has...
Right before the feeling of cold steel slipping through her skin, her heart plummeting when she registers what he's just said. "Goodbye."
She can't think, all she can do is stare at the sword in her gut, the blood, her blood on his hands and, this isn't right, she thinks. "What's... what..."
For reassurance that none of this is happening, it's all an illusion and oh she can't breathe, she looks up at him, at her captain. But his look is cold and dismissive now, such a huge shift from just seconds before, and it hits her that this is all really happening, or happened once or something, she can't think...
Then in a whisper of steel he's pulling the blade from her, letting her collapse to the unforgiving floor, the air sharp with blood, her own blood. She hears him call to the other man in the room, the one she'd almost forgotten about. There are footsteps, and then there is nothing but the cold black.
She tears herself from the waking dream, gasping, not understanding and not quite wanting to understand. And her hands keep shaking.
[OOC: References: Memory comes from the first stabbing, found in the anime here on Hulu or in the manga, chapter 169, pages 11 through 21 or so.]
She is walking in strange surroundings, up a flight of wooden stairs, a man ahead of her in a white haori with a number, different form the one she remembers from her dream, on the back.
He stops just beyond the edge of the light spilling from the doorway. She can't see him quite clearly anymore. "There's someone who wants to meet you." Finally, something in the way of explanation.
She repeats his words, disbelieving. Who would want to meet her? And here, of all places. "Go on," he urges. "Look behind you."
"Behind...?" There are certainly footsteps behind her now, though she saw no one else in that vast empty cavern, and she turns.
Now it's the same man from the dream she had, standing silhouetted in the doorway, smiling, the same kind expression from then. "Ca-captain Aizen," she stutters out. The way her heart soars, when he looks at her, the relief and sense of calm she feels upon seeing him... Yes, this much is the same, unable to be relegated to just memory or the lingering dream. The seed of disbelief and doubt must belong solely to this scene though.
"It's been a while, H-------." His voice is warm, sonorous--just what she had imagined it might be.
She's drawn to him, stumbling forward, stumbling over her own words. "Is it really you, Captain Aizen? I thought... you were dead."
His smile doesn't falter or fall. "It's okay. As you can see, I'm alive."
Tears are threatening to fall now, as she approaches, repeating the syllables of hsi name like she can't believe he's there, like she wants so desperately to believe he is. "Ca-captain Aizen... Captain Aizen, I... I..." What can she say? How to convince herself that he's real?
With a hand, she reaches out, taking hold of his coat, holding on to it as if it was a lifeline. It steadies her slightly too. It certainly feels real. "Captain Aizen..."
"I'm sorry for worrying you, H------." He places a hand on her head, comfortingly, the feel of it warm and familiar, cleansing and reassuring. Suzuran closes her eyes, the tears finally coming unhindered, taking in the feel, the scent of him, and even that is reassuring. No one would think to fake or alter that, the feel of his hand, the scent that was uniquely him. It had to be.
Suzuran cries, no longer able to stop the tears from coming as she sobs. Aizen seems surprised momentarily, but instead of pulling back, simply wraps those warm, comforting hands around her shoulders, bringing her closer to him. "You look even more frail than before. I'm sorry, for making you suffer this much. But I hope you can understand. There was something I had to do. It had to be without you. That's why I had to hide myself from you; why I had to fake my death. You..."
"It's okay, it's alright now." She interrupts his explanation, smiling despite her tears. "As long as you're alive, then it's all okay."
He holds her for a moment, before responding. "Thank you, H-------. I'm truly glad to have you as my subordinate. Thank you so much." And her heart is so full right now, everything is going to be okay, that's the feeling she has...
Right before the feeling of cold steel slipping through her skin, her heart plummeting when she registers what he's just said. "Goodbye."
She can't think, all she can do is stare at the sword in her gut, the blood, her blood on his hands and, this isn't right, she thinks. "What's... what..."
For reassurance that none of this is happening, it's all an illusion and oh she can't breathe, she looks up at him, at her captain. But his look is cold and dismissive now, such a huge shift from just seconds before, and it hits her that this is all really happening, or happened once or something, she can't think...
Then in a whisper of steel he's pulling the blade from her, letting her collapse to the unforgiving floor, the air sharp with blood, her own blood. She hears him call to the other man in the room, the one she'd almost forgotten about. There are footsteps, and then there is nothing but the cold black.
She tears herself from the waking dream, gasping, not understanding and not quite wanting to understand. And her hands keep shaking.
[OOC: References: Memory comes from the first stabbing, found in the anime here on Hulu or in the manga, chapter 169, pages 11 through 21 or so.]