'Jolie could give up acting for babies'
Care.
I am a superhero.
I have superhuman strength, no disease can touch me.
I have been given the power of antibodies.
One day Dr McDevitt was experimenting with the use of antibiotics against adult acne. That same day an old school on St George Street burst into flames, sending the burning particles of long forgotten chemistry sets down Byres Road and into a slightly ajar bedroom window. The particles mingled with the dormant antibodies in LJ's system and when she awoke she was a master against all disease known to man. Or at least she thought. One day whilst battling the evil overlords of childhood obesity and laringitis with her usual ease, her extreme sense of hearing picked up on the dull faraway buzz of an approaching aircraft. Her Cider senses tingling she felt that all was not right 'BUT WHAT COULD HARM ME!? FOR I AM SUPERHUMAN!' She scoffed to herself.
The aircraft passed over her releasing thousands of used tissues: 'NO! NOT MY ONE WEAKNESS! THE COMMON COLD!' She cried, and after becoming overcome with the virus was bedbound for weeks before passing away silently like a Victorian heroine.
FIN