like a conversation, not an alcoholic.
Time for some amusement from the LJ Markov Random Text Generator! IT'S BEEN TOO LONG.
And then Morgan goes to her, and nobody ever told him he shouldn't speak for the doorhandle.
"No, I-" Reid protests. "Don't get rid of his neck.
:/
Charlie Bartlett begins around the room to Nathan Harris's apartment, ready to make his fingers almost instantly.
Two Anton Yelchins? I approve.
Simon: Well, let's not name him. Russell: Who will remain anonymous. He could have been an octopus.
THE RETURN OF THE OCTOPUS.
"With all due respect, sir," Garcia interrupts him , you weirdo."
Omg, spluttering with laughter right now.
The two of them are so wonderfully fucked up (unlike Shane)
HA in what universe does that bit in brackets make any sense.
His living room slowly takes shape around him in surprise.
I love the idea of a surprised living room.
the image of perfection Nathan imagined; he needs her, wants her, but please-be brief and professional.
Nathan saw Reid, it was indecent.
"Yay," Georgie says, shaking her head rolling back against the trunk of the water beside them. She sort of strangled cry, because Kat has reached down between their bodies and now they're wondering if he should choose
Georgie Henley/Kat Dennings? Hnnnnnng
William can feel James's cock, hot and wet and he jerks his foot out of view, ashamed, feeling like he's taking something he should tell the rest of his orgasm.
You should really always make sure your orgasms are as well-informed as possible.
Noel tilts his head to try and refine the profile until there's another Simon
Hahahaha.
"Hotch?" says Reid brokenly, "I want you to fuck me, okay?"
WELL. That's nice.
Like, skipping ahead to the old man~ but like, that is so resistant to her knitting.
The tilde is what makes this.
a little surprised at how long Reid's legs are, how he can manage.
Giggling helplessly.
Matthew is about to come, which he supposes makes sense
Continuing to giggle helplessly.
A/N: Oh god, I'm going away now.
The thing is, these could easily be some actual notes of mine.
"You're going to explode in a nondescript apartment building in case Harris isn't our unsub." The others begin bustling about, packing up their things.
He wonders if Anton can taste himself in Gideon's shoes
WHAT
I've been shipping Nancy with her complex morals
Nancy/complex morals = OTP, tbh.
Hotch resists the urge to feed Reid a spare towel and toothbrush.
...FEED?
That feels good, like another woman is taking your medication," Hotch repeats. He turns to leave. "I'm going to prison.
What. Hotch, you are losing it.
Actually, the last time Nathan feels like the cat, it's a long time.
Because generally, in Normal Land, guys don't really mean anything.
a signed photo of Jamie's right palm appeared: It is small and smooth like a badger in a sexual sadist.
This might be one of my favourites, I just do not even.
Paget gives him a funny young man.
How sweet!
The really tragic thing is Matthew.
Omg.
They've brought Reid a spare towel and a dildo
WELL.
God, you're such a perv towards the door, and Edward won't stop touching it.
"He confessed," he says, simply, "and he had turtles-"
Omg, not turtles!
Ben kisses her like this, having this frantic whispered discussion in Kat's panties at the funeral.
Reid looks at Anton, who is definitely a mistake
Ben knocks on the music so good. He bites his lip in anticipation, and then suddenly he feels like they're intruding on Anton's dick.
...These last three were all basically in a row and I was laughing so hard it hurt.
Noel is still holding his condom, like an injured possum? Yeah.
This simile works in approximately zero ways.
Judah's ghost is legit in the drawer?
HAUNTED DRAWER.
They won't recover from this, there just isn't. They have both seen Kat's boobs.
WHO ARE YOU, YOU WONDERFUL PERSON. I am not drunk," he says
Love.
Idk idk one of those little fancy whisks with all the anticipation
The kiss in season 4 with all the tiny spirals of metal.
*looks above*...something got mixed up here.
Warnings: Real person slash, twincest, and a dildo one time
But just one time!
It was all along," Reid admits quietly. "But...Hotch, he killed Pilar.
The thing is, Criminal Minds/Weeds crossovers actually make a lot of sense when you think about it. Right? Er, if you're me or crumpetdear, anyway.
What consenting adults do in your mouth." Matthew half-whimpers at that, and then he seems to leap into action.
"No, I-" Reid protests. "Don't get rid of me like a popsicle
Anton's spitting into his mouth with his tail between his lips
What.
Noel brings his hand around Reid's shoulder, rubbing soothingly, encouragingly.
I just want to take a moment to picture Noel/Reid. Actually, I bet Noel and MGG would get on pretty well. They're both all childlike and artistic and eccentric...I can see it.
Also, his total joy when giving Shane the masturbation speech. Nancy tries it and goes to jail.
AHAHAHA.
like a conversation, not an alcoholic.
Anton enters, looking somewhat sheepish, chewing on his brother's cock, wanking him frantically.
:/
Russell was suggesting he lure people into bed by using the cat's cuteness, or something. Edward kind of slapping at his back, strokes soothingly. John is licking Noel's come off of them, it's like Edward realises what Edward is looking at two very dysfunctional adults, who will have trouble sustaining healthy relationships.
This one is KILLING me. It is actual Russell/Noel/Jedward like I could have almost written and it's eerily spot on.
Title: five times jedward nearly got off together in bed and check that the sofa join them anyway
It didn't matter to him that, at least not that I got a cat by mistake
And then before he's even explained what he might potentially sleep with
The 'what' instead of 'who' here worries me.
Alison can't help but stare, picking out the cake and Jack throws a towel in the way she is irritable and sore, and she's in more Mom clothes and he distantly wonders if this is a mere inconvenience.
What. What?
I do like how Shane would feel, if he had six tongues
"I mean-not the boob. The boob was good. It was fun to paint and you can get it."
Author: likecharity Pairing: Alison Mosshart/Jack White Rating: NC-17 Warnings: Real person slash, twincest, and a dildo inside of her
I'm intrigued.
They share a bedroom, even though it's fairly obvious that he killed his Dad
Anton is chewing on his mild homophobia.
I just-there's something about Simon Amstell nice?
Heeee.
His heart is racing and there's no reason for his shoes, and he doesn't give a shit, he still loves you.
I love this sentence.
They are now incredibly close-Matthew has grabbed hold of her lungs.
That's...TOO close.
"I think you're a killer, BUT THEY LOVE YOU DO YOU LIKE IT LOOK WHAT I DO." Famous last words.
Uh?
Alison weaves closer, heart pounding faster in her panties within like, a split second, and oh god, what if that were awesome
WHAT IF.
And I mean, Russell probably does that to Jamie, but then she sees no issue with? Has she become that far removed from reality?
Russell probably does WHAT to Jamie? ...I just recently found out that Russell Brand slept with Kate Moss, so I'm intrigued.
you know in Friends when Chandler's dating Kathy? Who I still can't believe was played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan.
LOLWUT
I actually get really pissed off when people talk about me and threesomes.
False.
And "she's just gonna fuck you from behind . "Oh," says Noel, "bed."
*leers*
He flails around a bit and then Noel wordlessly takes Alison in the future.
Omg I love this one.
Alison gripes, her voice makes her feel like hours; Alison is hesitant to tell you...you were on a plate- Russell: Delicious!
Ahaha whaaat.
Noel feels like his orgasm has been building, quietly, for a moment then asks, "What do you mean by 'relevant'?" Jamie rolls his eyes.
...
Don't be an AWESOME DECISION, because IT IS SO ANGRY.
The ones with RANDOM CAPSLOCK are usually amusing.
Alison squirms, feeling the bone of it when they were back in London, is thrilled with the details, she couldn't quite get the shower, onto the floor, shoving the coffee table when she realises Kate is gracious and understanding and lets Alison have him here.
...Holy crap. Assuming 'he' is Jamie, I...have no further words for this one. Except maybe 'hnng'.
That's all there is a strained tension between them like he's speaking to a wild animal when he gets a sleepy cat.
I just liked this.
making these obscene slurping noises that drives Noel crazy, and he spins her around, pushes her face-first against the skin of his mother.
Oh my god.
The fact that he doesn't care about anyone but him. "Why not Jamie?" Jack demands, and he doesn't like to let himself admit he wanted to kiss him again and nods.
Fuck yeahhh Jack/Jamie.
"You're not fucking special," Jack says nothing for another month and then I realised, you had not chosen this teapot.
Noel is still in the plastic bag.
And he wants to kiss him, beginning to spatter the dirt, and he does too-it feels like he's taken aback by how good he is, and when she came, tortured and gorgeous, her black hair spread out on it-it just makes her feel more normal, like there's something in her bones, something that has not been forgotten, it still kind of gets a hint of a stegosaurus, and failing, but as soon as she brushes her cheek as his own.
All of this sounds quite pretty in a cryptic sort of way and then it's like STEGOSAURUS! and you're like "wait, what?"
In other news, I started watching American Horror Story, which was the WORST DECISION. I can't stand horror or gore of basically any kind, and have to watch the whole thing through my fingers, but I'm totally hooked. I only started watching because adorable psychos with mommy issues are kind of my kryptonite. (I knooow Tate is a monster but I AM SO FASCINATED BY HIM.) I also started rereading the Harry Potter books, which was obviously the best decision - I can't believe it took me so long to get around to it. I reread The Shoebox Project first, so then when I got to Prisoner of Azkaban I was like, STUPIDLY emotional. I basically feel like I've been punched in the gut with reminders of all my Remus/Sirius feelings, and auuuuuugh, OTP forever and ever and ever. ;_; I kind of want to post a fanmix because I've had a Remus/Sirius playlist for YEARS and never actually done anything with it.
And then Morgan goes to her, and nobody ever told him he shouldn't speak for the doorhandle.
"No, I-" Reid protests. "Don't get rid of his neck.
:/
Charlie Bartlett begins around the room to Nathan Harris's apartment, ready to make his fingers almost instantly.
Two Anton Yelchins? I approve.
Simon: Well, let's not name him. Russell: Who will remain anonymous. He could have been an octopus.
THE RETURN OF THE OCTOPUS.
"With all due respect, sir," Garcia interrupts him , you weirdo."
Omg, spluttering with laughter right now.
The two of them are so wonderfully fucked up (unlike Shane)
HA in what universe does that bit in brackets make any sense.
His living room slowly takes shape around him in surprise.
I love the idea of a surprised living room.
the image of perfection Nathan imagined; he needs her, wants her, but please-be brief and professional.
Nathan saw Reid, it was indecent.
"Yay," Georgie says, shaking her head rolling back against the trunk of the water beside them. She sort of strangled cry, because Kat has reached down between their bodies and now they're wondering if he should choose
Georgie Henley/Kat Dennings? Hnnnnnng
William can feel James's cock, hot and wet and he jerks his foot out of view, ashamed, feeling like he's taking something he should tell the rest of his orgasm.
You should really always make sure your orgasms are as well-informed as possible.
Noel tilts his head to try and refine the profile until there's another Simon
Hahahaha.
"Hotch?" says Reid brokenly, "I want you to fuck me, okay?"
WELL. That's nice.
Like, skipping ahead to the old man~ but like, that is so resistant to her knitting.
The tilde is what makes this.
a little surprised at how long Reid's legs are, how he can manage.
Giggling helplessly.
Matthew is about to come, which he supposes makes sense
Continuing to giggle helplessly.
A/N: Oh god, I'm going away now.
The thing is, these could easily be some actual notes of mine.
"You're going to explode in a nondescript apartment building in case Harris isn't our unsub." The others begin bustling about, packing up their things.
He wonders if Anton can taste himself in Gideon's shoes
WHAT
I've been shipping Nancy with her complex morals
Nancy/complex morals = OTP, tbh.
Hotch resists the urge to feed Reid a spare towel and toothbrush.
...FEED?
That feels good, like another woman is taking your medication," Hotch repeats. He turns to leave. "I'm going to prison.
What. Hotch, you are losing it.
Actually, the last time Nathan feels like the cat, it's a long time.
Because generally, in Normal Land, guys don't really mean anything.
a signed photo of Jamie's right palm appeared: It is small and smooth like a badger in a sexual sadist.
This might be one of my favourites, I just do not even.
Paget gives him a funny young man.
How sweet!
The really tragic thing is Matthew.
Omg.
They've brought Reid a spare towel and a dildo
WELL.
God, you're such a perv towards the door, and Edward won't stop touching it.
"He confessed," he says, simply, "and he had turtles-"
Omg, not turtles!
Ben kisses her like this, having this frantic whispered discussion in Kat's panties at the funeral.
Reid looks at Anton, who is definitely a mistake
Ben knocks on the music so good. He bites his lip in anticipation, and then suddenly he feels like they're intruding on Anton's dick.
...These last three were all basically in a row and I was laughing so hard it hurt.
Noel is still holding his condom, like an injured possum? Yeah.
This simile works in approximately zero ways.
Judah's ghost is legit in the drawer?
HAUNTED DRAWER.
They won't recover from this, there just isn't. They have both seen Kat's boobs.
WHO ARE YOU, YOU WONDERFUL PERSON. I am not drunk," he says
Love.
Idk idk one of those little fancy whisks with all the anticipation
The kiss in season 4 with all the tiny spirals of metal.
*looks above*...something got mixed up here.
Warnings: Real person slash, twincest, and a dildo one time
But just one time!
It was all along," Reid admits quietly. "But...Hotch, he killed Pilar.
The thing is, Criminal Minds/Weeds crossovers actually make a lot of sense when you think about it. Right? Er, if you're me or crumpetdear, anyway.
What consenting adults do in your mouth." Matthew half-whimpers at that, and then he seems to leap into action.
"No, I-" Reid protests. "Don't get rid of me like a popsicle
Anton's spitting into his mouth with his tail between his lips
What.
Noel brings his hand around Reid's shoulder, rubbing soothingly, encouragingly.
I just want to take a moment to picture Noel/Reid. Actually, I bet Noel and MGG would get on pretty well. They're both all childlike and artistic and eccentric...I can see it.
Also, his total joy when giving Shane the masturbation speech. Nancy tries it and goes to jail.
AHAHAHA.
like a conversation, not an alcoholic.
Anton enters, looking somewhat sheepish, chewing on his brother's cock, wanking him frantically.
:/
Russell was suggesting he lure people into bed by using the cat's cuteness, or something. Edward kind of slapping at his back, strokes soothingly. John is licking Noel's come off of them, it's like Edward realises what Edward is looking at two very dysfunctional adults, who will have trouble sustaining healthy relationships.
This one is KILLING me. It is actual Russell/Noel/Jedward like I could have almost written and it's eerily spot on.
Title: five times jedward nearly got off together in bed and check that the sofa join them anyway
It didn't matter to him that, at least not that I got a cat by mistake
And then before he's even explained what he might potentially sleep with
The 'what' instead of 'who' here worries me.
Alison can't help but stare, picking out the cake and Jack throws a towel in the way she is irritable and sore, and she's in more Mom clothes and he distantly wonders if this is a mere inconvenience.
What. What?
I do like how Shane would feel, if he had six tongues
"I mean-not the boob. The boob was good. It was fun to paint and you can get it."
Author: likecharity Pairing: Alison Mosshart/Jack White Rating: NC-17 Warnings: Real person slash, twincest, and a dildo inside of her
I'm intrigued.
They share a bedroom, even though it's fairly obvious that he killed his Dad
Anton is chewing on his mild homophobia.
I just-there's something about Simon Amstell nice?
Heeee.
His heart is racing and there's no reason for his shoes, and he doesn't give a shit, he still loves you.
I love this sentence.
They are now incredibly close-Matthew has grabbed hold of her lungs.
That's...TOO close.
"I think you're a killer, BUT THEY LOVE YOU DO YOU LIKE IT LOOK WHAT I DO." Famous last words.
Uh?
Alison weaves closer, heart pounding faster in her panties within like, a split second, and oh god, what if that were awesome
WHAT IF.
And I mean, Russell probably does that to Jamie, but then she sees no issue with? Has she become that far removed from reality?
Russell probably does WHAT to Jamie? ...I just recently found out that Russell Brand slept with Kate Moss, so I'm intrigued.
you know in Friends when Chandler's dating Kathy? Who I still can't believe was played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan.
LOLWUT
I actually get really pissed off when people talk about me and threesomes.
False.
And "she's just gonna fuck you from behind . "Oh," says Noel, "bed."
*leers*
He flails around a bit and then Noel wordlessly takes Alison in the future.
Omg I love this one.
Alison gripes, her voice makes her feel like hours; Alison is hesitant to tell you...you were on a plate- Russell: Delicious!
Ahaha whaaat.
Noel feels like his orgasm has been building, quietly, for a moment then asks, "What do you mean by 'relevant'?" Jamie rolls his eyes.
...
Don't be an AWESOME DECISION, because IT IS SO ANGRY.
The ones with RANDOM CAPSLOCK are usually amusing.
Alison squirms, feeling the bone of it when they were back in London, is thrilled with the details, she couldn't quite get the shower, onto the floor, shoving the coffee table when she realises Kate is gracious and understanding and lets Alison have him here.
...Holy crap. Assuming 'he' is Jamie, I...have no further words for this one. Except maybe 'hnng'.
That's all there is a strained tension between them like he's speaking to a wild animal when he gets a sleepy cat.
I just liked this.
making these obscene slurping noises that drives Noel crazy, and he spins her around, pushes her face-first against the skin of his mother.
Oh my god.
The fact that he doesn't care about anyone but him. "Why not Jamie?" Jack demands, and he doesn't like to let himself admit he wanted to kiss him again and nods.
Fuck yeahhh Jack/Jamie.
"You're not fucking special," Jack says nothing for another month and then I realised, you had not chosen this teapot.
Noel is still in the plastic bag.
And he wants to kiss him, beginning to spatter the dirt, and he does too-it feels like he's taken aback by how good he is, and when she came, tortured and gorgeous, her black hair spread out on it-it just makes her feel more normal, like there's something in her bones, something that has not been forgotten, it still kind of gets a hint of a stegosaurus, and failing, but as soon as she brushes her cheek as his own.
All of this sounds quite pretty in a cryptic sort of way and then it's like STEGOSAURUS! and you're like "wait, what?"
In other news, I started watching American Horror Story, which was the WORST DECISION. I can't stand horror or gore of basically any kind, and have to watch the whole thing through my fingers, but I'm totally hooked. I only started watching because adorable psychos with mommy issues are kind of my kryptonite. (I knooow Tate is a monster but I AM SO FASCINATED BY HIM.) I also started rereading the Harry Potter books, which was obviously the best decision - I can't believe it took me so long to get around to it. I reread The Shoebox Project first, so then when I got to Prisoner of Azkaban I was like, STUPIDLY emotional. I basically feel like I've been punched in the gut with reminders of all my Remus/Sirius feelings, and auuuuuugh, OTP forever and ever and ever. ;_; I kind of want to post a fanmix because I've had a Remus/Sirius playlist for YEARS and never actually done anything with it.